This information is interesting.

When I'm in a public place its not so much the toilet seat im worried about- - Its the WATER in the bowl.

Every once in a while, im in a mad hurry, and i shit in the bowl and some water sprays into my hole. I always think: "im going to get aids"

I just worry about the bacteria that can swim up the urine stream, or the ones that can jump on a hanging turd and get inside me before it breaks off. Oh and those truck stop bathrooms in Uganda. Other that that I'm fine.

Viacheslav, mind if I call you Vic? To get people to fund an idea, you first need to communicate it simply, both so that folks understand the basic idea but also so that you don't come off sounding like a crackpot.

However, my judgment, Vic, is that you are a crackpot, which would answer the question you pose in your first paragraph.

LJ, welcome back. I agree about his crackpot state. I would be afraid that the toilet might have a solid rocket booster built in and I'd wind up in orbit after a fart ignition.

I'm so NOT concerned with the germs on toilets. If only 10% of people sit on toilet seats, then they must be pretty clean, eh? I sit on them. It's just ass-skin. I don't smear shit on my ass just before I sit down on the toilet seat

I'm not saying there's no room for improvement, but toilets don't cause VD and AIDS. Now if you told me I could herpes from a toilet seat, I would never sit there again. God I hate herpes.

I'm gonna ask my physicist father what he thinks. It might be the one time I can ask that ol' shameful shitter about something poo related without pissing him off.

I like the foam idea--sort of. While I am concerned about splashback and related problems, I am also concerned about not being able to see my poop in the bowl. I really prefer being able to see it, so I will know what its status tells me about my health.

Maybe the toilet will come with those 3-D glasses we used to get at the movies and we could see through the foam haze.

I think the problem is the name.. You need something with a lil pizzaz..

Here are some names I've been kicking around: The Dostoyevsky Dumper
The Chekhov Cheek Spreader
Sergei Konstantinovich Krikalyov Krap-o-rama
The General Baranov Bowel Bowl
Nikolai Platonovich Patrushev Pooper
Yuri Dmitrievich Budanov Bowl Winder
The Vasili Alexeyev Snatch, Jerk and Poop

and of course, The Putin

anyone else?

The all-in Stal-in
The Ick-hail Gorbachev
The I gotta Trotsky
The Yeltsin Shitsin
The No-more-smear Vladimir

Logjam, you are often amazing.

Seriously though, this is an excellent Poopreport. Keeps the place interesting.

Commie commode.
Porcelin P-U-tin. (I'll probably get plutonium poisoned for that one)
Siberian no-smearian.
Vodka shits containment system

Bush calls Putin-"Putie-Poot," maybe the "Putie-Pooper!"

I agree with MSG about liking to know the visual on my poop's consistency. When I get a nice floating #3 (on the Bristol chart) I see that as sort of like having a lucky rabbit's foot, it's a sign that good things are going to happen to me that day.

So your #3's are furry?

I had 2 questions about the 1.5 to 2 meter splashback.

1.) What volume of water are we talking about in the droplet?

2.) Is this a urine stream droplet from a man or a woman? How fast does the peepee droplet have to be going to get the 1.5 to 2.0 meter splashback?

I can't imagine just a drop of whatever creating such a splashback without velocity, you know?

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Um... I flunked physics, twice. I get what you're saying professor, just don't expect me to retain it for any more than 10 seconds.

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

I have to question the 2 meter splashback thing, that's between 6 1/2 and 7 feet. Unless your talking about incredibly small water droplets, it's very rare that I evacuate with so much force that I get the plainly noticeable butt-crack spritz from the splash-back.

I've found that if you blast one out hard enough, the resulting spray acts like a bidet jet, and wiping is not necessary.

Besides some absurd comments that I believe are from a lack of education (historically people always attacked something they could not understand) there were several questions about possibilities of contamination during the human being evacuation process in a toilet. I’ll try to answer to some skeptics, or those who do not see how serious this problem is.
Human immune system of the majority of people is surprisingly strong and most of the time resists attacks from various germs. However, there are certain categories of people that have weak immune systems, such as young kids, old, and sick, and, in particular, who have problems with their immune system: HIV, AIDS, those under a chemotherapy, having transplants, and using drugs suppressing immune system. Also, in some cases, healthy people can be a target for germs, if they have cuts, bruises and “openings”. In recent years there were outbreaks of very contagious deceases such as SARS, salmonella, genital human papillomaviruses, etc that some referenced literature claims have been transmitted through a toilet.
Splashes, which represent a sudden disturbance of a liquid’s free surface, consist of a mixture of water and falling liquid and solid objects and they can propagate into air in a form of liquid droplets and solid particles over 2 meters from a toilet bowl’s water surface. Some droplets after a flight of 1-2 meters, depending on a surrounding relative humidity, become evaporated and, having size from parts to hundreds of mkm (called aerosols), can float and propagate substantially longer distances. Our experiments (and several others described in scientific literature) show that such aerosol particles (from 1 to 40 mkm) can be registered at distances over 5 meters from the point of initial interaction of liquids, or solid objects with liquid.
Aerosol particles can be described according to their physical and biological origin. Bio-aerosols include allergens, fungi, bacteria, and viruses. Fecal particles range between 10 – 40 mkm. Vaporized compositions of water, urine and germs that have been generated in a toilet bowl can travel even over 5 m in a form of subparticles of 1 to 40 mkm.
In a Cooperative Canadian-American Project (CCAP) “Maximum Performance Testing of Popular Toilet Models” there were tested varieties of toilets of major world toilet producing companies for toilet operations such as flush performance of human waste and water exchange. In a water exchange test there was measured a capability of toilets for removal of a brine mixture utilizing an electrical conductivity meter. About 20 ml of 18 gram/liter salt solution were added to a test bowl and dissolved. The electrical conductivity of water was measured and recorded. Then a toilet was flushed and refilled. The refilled water electrical conductivity in the test bowl was again measured and recorded. From here the percentage of water change-out was calculated. All toilets tested achieved a change-out rate of at least 98 percent. From these tests one can conclude that the remaining less than 2 percent of dissolved waste would present problems during the next toilet operation, because most people have bacteria and viruses in their waste evacuations.
According to data given in www.oasisdesign.net the typical numbers of fecal Coliform bacteria per gram of wet human feces are 13 million (similar numbers given in other references). In other words, 1 percent of dissolved waste remaining in a toilet bowl after flushing would have about 130,000 bacteria per gram and some of them during the evacuation process could be spread to a toilet user in one, or another form.
The information about outbreaks of SARS, salmonella, and some other deceases is supported by many references and can be given to those who need them.

PD, I think he called you absurd and uneducated.
We should invite him to our next open house/get together, I bet he's just a barrel of laughs once we get him juiced up on Red Bull and Vodka.

How dare you!! I'll have you know, MR.Z, that I am aware of this problem, and have already implemented the solution. I have (chain) sawed a hole in the outside wall of my house directly adjacent to the toilet handle. I have attached a 45' extension to said handle. I can now shit and then flush from my back yard. Just let those little SARS fuckers try to find me. And you call me absurd and uneducated. HUMPFF.

V, I talked with some extremely intelligent people in college who, although able to comprehend difficult studies like quantum physics, were still unable to understand social ribbing or joking; and so instead of trying to get along or go with the flow, they chose to look down upon those who did. The first sentence in your comment makes me think you might be one of them.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

No evidence of appreciation for the lighter side by sentence 21, either.

daphne. I saw that one-sentence comment before you took it down. I now know your weakness.

I lost count at about five. Without my glasses I can't tell the commas from the periods. Despite the pompus bullshit lines, the post has some educational redemptiveness. V just needs to read more posts, and find out what we're all about.

Damn that Daphne using invisible ink again. Sorta makes my comment look like it came from left field.

Vic is on a mission to find investors, get his toilet built, and save the world. He isn't about to waste his time clowning around with the likes of us. And someday, we might be kicking ourselves for not getting in on the ground floor (but I doubt it).

Wanna get in on my 45' toilet handle extender. I know you can come up with a good name.

Shhhhh.....

don't tell anybody, but I just pissed in VZ's Wheatski's

If he's right with his computations, Bilge, you managed to get about 10% of that piss on your pant legs. What is needed is milk you could float a gel on. Then when you pissed in it, nothing would splash out.

Daphne's gonna kill you.

Oh shit, was that her bowl????? Oh, and I'm fortunate if 10% is ALL I get on my pant leg.

Good to hear you're wearing pants again, Bilge. Welcome back to civilization.

Just the leg part. Trench coat covers the rest.

Hahaha! I told Logjam that I thought counting sentences was sexy.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Shit, daphne. I wanted that to be our little secret.

Ummm Bilgepump...? You mismatched your trouser legs ... again...
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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

Here is a joke for all of you.
Winter. Very cold. Sparrow is flying, and almost freezes to death, it fell on the road. Laying.

Cow goes on this road and expels a big pile of shit. Shit pile falls on the sparrow, covers it completely. Sparrow feels warm. Cow produces: "Moo, moo".

Sparrow listens, thinks: “What is she saying?". Sparrow is trying to get out of shit. Cat was sitting nearby and watching. Cat sees sparrow coming out of a pile of shit, jumps and takes sparrow out of shit pile and eats sparrow.

Morals:

1. If you get yourself in to shit, seat tight.
2. Not everyone who puts you into a shit is your enemy.
3. Not everyone who takes out of shit is your friend.
4. It is important to know foreign languages.

#4 needs an *especially English if you care to stay in this country for more than a visit* added.

It says a lot about Russian history that from their experience finding oneself in a pile of shit is not regarded as the worst place one could be and that, therefore, the prudent action is to sit tight.

Actually, I think the English would also sit motionless in a pile of shit if removing oneself would cause a scene. And Americans have and will sit in a pile of shit for years if their government tells them that it will keep terrorists at bay.

I like that V used little noun verb noun sentences in that joke so I could understand it.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

PSSSST, Daphne could you explain it to me.

Sorry, daphne. We throw hard sentences at you. In future, will noun-verb-noun you. I like daphne. I not want to scare with hairy chest. I not want to insult with cheap liquor. Maybe you like verb only. Come. Drink. Fuck.

Oooo, he uses imperatives, also. How exotic!

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Exotic would be Daphne AND Di -- two nouns into the middle of which I'd like to insert a verb.

Get crazy, Jam. Use a gerund.
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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Gerund? Egging me on now, you are. Hey, did you ever read the final installment of the What-for story? Clearly, I've learned the hard way not to mess with you.

HAHA!!! (points with a mocking, ridiculing manner) Look!!!! Logjam's participle is dangling!!!

I'll often dangle my participle after getting hung-up on the bluperfect. Too many things to fucking think about in life anymore.

Flipped back up for benefit of daph, (a busy mom and animal tender who needs things right in her face or they go unnoticed).

(LOUD Guffaw) Daphne just got "participle slapped!!!"

Put that thing away before I kick you in the parentheses. Both of them.

Logjam, the Whatfor story was fun!

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I don't think it's crazy to try to make a cleaner toilet, after all, they get filled with piss and shit daily, even clean-LOOKING ones may be filthy. I find this no more ridiculous than that Dyson vacuum-cleaner-guy talking about how he's improved the suction on his machine. I can see them as particularly usefull in hospitals, for example.
VZ, just curious, would the geometry of the bowl be different than it is now? How much more/less liquid would it need to flush?

My reply to snowpea.
The toilet's bowl geometry is very important. Also important a number and dimension of holes in a bowl's rim (they must be as small as possible, but there is a certain size that they cannot be smaller. All this explained in my patent and in the article that I can email to you, if you would wish). Do you know that many toilet makers do not know how many toilet holes they make in a rim?
Special geometry makes water moving with so-called "supersonic" speed of surface waves. Such a geometry allows to use much less than 1.6 gallon per flush (US standard now since 1996), like 0.5-0.8 gallon and provide efficient detergency and removal of evacuations.
Thanks,
V.Z.

If the surface water reaches "supersonic" speeds, wouldn't a "sonic boom" be created, which is in itself, a wave, thusly scattering all the little particles hither and yon, surreptitiously blowing your idea about "hygenic" toilets out of the "water"?

V.Z. Mail Bilge your article so he can subject all your ideas to his special brand of critical analysis. If you can get him on board, the sky's the limit.

Bilge, LJ I think you are being too hard on the good Dr. VZ. I think that with the state of the art, supersonic capabilities of this toilet, it may be just what the Air Force is looking for to install on the F18 fighters. It appears that it can actually be flushed while pulling 8 G's.

To Bilgepump:
You didn't read what I wrote with attention. Water moves in a toilet bowl with a "supersonic" speed of surface waves, which are significantly slower than speed of sound in water (about 4.5 km/s). Surface waves (see my patent, or the whole text of the article) still move with a speed of about 100 m/s, which is quite good. And motion of supersonic flow through a nozzle (exit from a bowl) makes water flow is very smooth and quiet in comparison with a subsonic flow (again see my patent on the USPTO site, or, if you want I can email it to you).
Last several comments have been nicer than most of previous. I was very dissapointed with most of your reactions after publication of my compressed article.
I am still looking for those who is with money and understands the problem of contamination through a toilet.
Hospitals, public places, and even some people who are afraid germs (need another Howard Hughes) will be happy with such a toilet.
I have so much to say about Alamosa salmonella outbreak recently in our Colorado, when people continued to get contaminated despite that they didn' drink tap water but were allowed to use toilets. I tried to inform local authorities, but who would prohibit to use toilets? So, the best way was to get contaminated, develop immunity and carry on. Most people suffer from salmonella for very short time (from hours to several days), but there are some categories of people (actually many millions with AIDS, HIV, going through chemo, with transplants, small kids, old people) with weak immune system that can die.
Regards,
V.Z.

He sent it to me at dapneszoo, and I was impressed, I must say.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Jeeeeeeeeeezzz, anybody would think the Cold War was still on!
Give the guy break, yes?
He has good design for no-germ shitter, and is good idea for not getting nasties on clackervalve.
(Sorry. My apologies for taking the piss out of Dr. Zhurin's not-quite-perfect English. Being an Aussie, my own English is slightly different to the American version).

My own english is odd, and I live in the UK......

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Did I just fart?......... hope so.

Hey BVC and BM, don't feel bad. The French have like a different word for each one of ours. Go figure.

PD, hey! you are right! damit man, what are they upto, it almost like that babelfish thingymabob.
How in gods name do they communicate with the rest of the world. Personally I have met a Frenchman, butt at the time I just thought he was talking merde.

(I hope I got that right! I just cant be arsed to check!!

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Did I just fart?.... hope so!

watch the penn & teller bullshit episode "safety hysteria", the toilet is actually quite clean. why? because its COLD and DRY, bacteria need warm moist places to live. Even around the bowl, it may be wet for a while above the water, but its still too cold for any bacteria to grow.

To get information from movies is very poor approach, especially about bacteria.

Whereas information about bacteria posted on a poop humor site -- now that's information you can bank on.