The Noble Quest of Mr. Floatie

PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

It's hard to be unaware of Mr. Floatie these days. Not just because you read about him on this site -- no, the crusade of this gigantic piece of anthropomorphic poop championing the cause of modern sewage treatment in Victoria, BC, has made the mainstream press across the country and the world.

The latest installment of Mr. Floatie's poop opera revealed that he had been denied an application to run for Mayor of Victoria due to the fact that he “was not a real person."

The last time poop made so much news was when the leader of the free world asked for a bathroom break. Mr. Bush denied our repeated requests for interviews; Mr. Floatie, naturally, was not so elitist. We caught up with Mr. Floatie -- a.k.a. Canadian student James Skwarok -- and posed a few questions regarding the politics of poop, the lump sum of his ambitions, and the other aspects of the emerging movement he represents.

PR: How did you come up with the Mr. Floatie character?

He was created early in 2004 by my friend, Terry (who doesn't want his last name revealed). I helped, but Terry did most of the work. I saw an episode of South Park where they have a similar character. Matt and Trey have a wicked sense of humor.

PR: What's your attitude towards potty humor in general, a staple on PoopReport?

I think most people can laugh at it because most people did so as kids. I know I did. I am not entirely Shameless. I am ashamed of what my city is doing to the ocean, and I think it's time to stop treating the ocean like a great big toilet!

PR: We know that your organization, POOP, was founded in 2004 to focus attention on Victoria's lack of sewage treatment facilities. What does the acronym POOP represent?

People Opposed to Outfall Pollution. The outfall refers to the two outfalls or pipes that extend into the ocean that Victoria uses to pump out 120 million litres {31 million gallons} of raw sewage into the strait of Juan de Poopa -- I mean, Juan de Fuca.

PR: What reasons were given to force your withdrawal as a mayoral candidate of Victoria?

The City of Victoria was suing me for the costs of hiring lawyers to take me to court over the fact that I wanted the name Mr. Floatie to be on the ballot, and

that I had signed the nomination papers as Mr. Floatie. They stated that Mr. Floatie was not a real person. Well, of course, he's not a real person! He's a big piece of poop! I wasn't running as James Skwarok, which is why I signed the papers as Mr. Floatie and put (his name) on the ballot.

It's Mr. Floatie who wanted a shot at the throne of power to raise the issue of Victoria's sewage problem. (Number Two for Number One!) Unfortunately, Mr. Floatie had no assets to hire a lawyer to fight the city's lawsuit, so he was forced to drop out of the race. It's not like he has money, or pockets to put it in!

PR: Give us some sense of the overall reaction to your character. Was Mr. Floatie considered in poor taste (no pun intended!) and therefore unfit for public consumption?

The overall reaction has been positive. The campaign itself was pretty short. We did two media conferences. One to announce Mr. Floatie's nomination, and one to announce the fact that he was being sued. Both were pretty well attended.

We had great radio, TV and newspaper coverage. The character is considered in poor taste by a small group of people. Most people in Victoria love Mr. Floatie. They like to laugh and think our practice of dumping crap in the ocean stinks! And it's the household and industrial chemicals in the sewage which are the greatest threat to ocean life. The only stumbling block was the fact that the City of Victoria did not want me to run as Mr. Floatie because they wanted to avoid talking about sewage treatment.

PR: What kind of success has POOP had so far with donations?

We've had some success, but we could use more to help us prepare for

next year's Toilet Regatta. The Regatta is a toilet boat race to raise awareness and money to build a sewage treatment system for Victoria. Check out last year's event on our website. Fifty-percent of each donation is put in a trust fund to build a sewage treatment system and fifty-percent goes towards funding the operations of POOP.

PR: Given the fact that Victoria is a beautiful and historic tourist city, how has it allowed a no-sewage treatment situation to arise?

It has been well-publicized that we pump our sewage into the ocean. Some people were aware of it before POOP came along, but now it's on the front burner of people's behinds -- I mean, minds.

PR: Was your mayoral competition as concerned with the issue as you were? Or did he or she simply make it all about you dressing up as a turd?

They didn't appear to be worried. The current mayor, Alan Lowe, said he was going to beat the crap out of me in the election, but I retorted that he would only get his hands dirty by doing that. I think my presence as Mr. Floatie was one of the reasons Mayor Lowe came out in favor of sewage treatment a few days after I announced my nomination. Sewage treatment is now definitely an election issue.

PR: What is your projection for this issue?

It will be resolved. Most people I've talked to are behind POOP on this issue and the major players are getting off the pot one by one. The Federal Government announced that national sewage treatment regulations will apply across the country within the next few years.

PR: How can PoopReporters help out, if they are so inclined?

Go to our website, click on "Get Involved," and then click on Victoria Sewage Letter Campaign to send a pre-written letter to our mayor. The more people from around the world who send in letters, the more (our mayor) will feel the need to get sewage treatment in place. We need our tourist dollars to survive.

21 Comments on "The Noble Quest of Mr. Floatie"

Logjam's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Nice report. Did you do this interview over the phone or over email? Is Mr. Floatie a regular reader of PR?


cc's picture

He should have been allowed on the ballot.Most politicians are big pieces of shit,full of shit and lying sacks of shit.He would have been a natural.If they had to float a bond issue he would be perfect for that job.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points

But......... I think politicians are the poops that sink. They don't even have the class to float. Ah, symantics.

Nice article. Leave it to the Wiper to interview poop. He's our man!
.....hugging bunnies since 1969

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

C Everett Poop's picture
j 1000+ points

As a proud member of the US Navy, I want to know why that turd is wearing a sailor hat.

wonderpance's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points

that's a great interview!

i think it's silly. if Arnold can be the Governor of California, i think a giant piece of poop can be the Mayor of Victoria.

i love poop.

Tydirium's picture
k 500+ points

Political change is really hard to create. As any American will tell you. There's not much you can do when it's you versus the system. I'm pleased and inspired that a talking piece of poop can get a whole national government to change policy. This is a brilliant political strategy -- embarass the politicians into change. Make them choose between being mocked by a piece of poop or debating a piece of poop.

Now how can we use this in American politics?

The Widowmaker's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Tydirium, I don't know if a movement (ha) like Mr. Floatie's would really work in American politics because American politicians have no sense of shame. Therefore, the mocking would probably be ignored. :/

Wernher von BROWN's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Clearly, politicians think that their shit doesn't stink.

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

I believe Mr. Skwarok had some previous communication with Dave-O indicating that he had admired PoopReport for some time, according to the e-sequence that was forwarded to me by Mr. Pooper when he asked me if I'd like to take on this assignment.

My only regret is that I did not pull more nuggets out of Mr. Floatie than I did. He's a very busy young man, but he willingly cooperated with the e-questionnaire I sent him.

I've always wanted to see Vancouver and Victoria, and this publicity makes me more interested than ever. Di says she'll be very upset with me if I don't come out there to sign my next novel when it comes out next summer.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

PooperGal's picture
k 500+ points

Excellent report and interview. Mr. Floatie is a great idea, and it was interesting to hear the underlying philosophy and purpose of the character. If it gets Victoria's mayor off his ass and into the sewer (treatment), it will prove that even a talking piece of crap can have a huge impact on society.
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

Di Uhreea's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorl 100+ points

Excellent coverage of Mr. Floatie's mission, TBW!! I wonder if he's doing any "up island" gigs to raise awareness... If he came here, I'd get his autograph & some pics.
I've heard about Victoria's raw sewage release for years now and since nothing was being done about it, I actually wondered if it was true!
Mr. Floatie's goal is a good one, and it looks like it's working.

Wiper, I'm 1.5 hours from both Vic and Van. If I didn't see you, yes, I'd be pissed!

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ pointsj 1000+ pointsk 500+ pointsl 100+ pointsm 1+ points - Newb

C. Everett: in answer to your question about what a turd is doing with a sailor hat--remember that shit floats!

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

wonderpance's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points wiper said he wanted to pull nuggets out of Mr. Floatie.

i love poop.

Will's picture

Nice to be back on site, albeit briefly, and read a story with a "light" touch.

mott the poople's picture
l 100+ points

Mr. Floatie is NOT from SemperFi...(the cap says it all). C Everett needs to poop...
BTW...SoCal (especially Huntington Beach) is literally swimming in poop...
Mr Floatie, run down here to stop the swarf.(!)

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

L Wrong Hubbard's picture
l 100+ points

I love Mr Floatie. What material is his garb made of? Looks like flannel lining....

Happy trails,
L. Wrong
Chairman & CEO, PPK Industries

Happy trails,
L. Wrong
Chairman & CEO, PPK Industries

SamDamnit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points

Why stop at mayor? We have a piece of poop in the white house already.

Rectum Rector
The Church of Poop

The Emir of Crapistan

Poop Shooter's picture
k 500+ points

SamDamnit.... got any ideas on how we could dress up as poop and run for office?? Something to think about!!

Poop Shooter!

Ern Bieman's picture

A huge congratulations to James and the Gang for stirring things up! $100 is coming your to help cover your costs - I consider it a far more effective contribution than that asked of those damned Shriners who keep calling me at dinner time - not that I have anything against sending kids to the circus...

Ern Bieman,

Bharbara's picture

As this website is about poop I felt it is definitley the place for me to share the information I have collected over the last 16 years. In 1991 when Gordon Campbell was the Mayor of Vancouver, I brought the issue of compactor garbage trucks systematically spreading garbage leachate all over the streets and lanes of our community, to City Hall.
I have set up a group of web sites that are linked together on the last page of each site., bharbara2,bharbara3, and bharbara3b are all set up to show the problem as it was addressed over the years.
We had such a serious problem in Vancouver with the release of garbage leachate on to the streets last year so I jumped ahead and focused only on last year from web site, until
These compactor garbage trucks have been used on the North American continent since 1938. When it is dry weather the garbage leachate dries and gets mixed up with all of the fine particulate matter that is in the air we all breathe. If the weather is rainy or snowy the garbage leachate mixes with the other fluids on the street and sloshes, splashes and sprays all over everyone and everything before draining into the ground and sewers. The sewers then drain everything directly into the waterways.
Just think for one minute how much Poop we are talking about here. Used cat litter containing cat poop, dog poop, poopy baby diapers, elderly peoples diapers and ill peoples diapers are all thrown into the garbage.
Please take the time to peruse the information I have set out in the above web sites beginning with


Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Thank you Bharb...Di Uhrea is a Vancouver native, I'll get in touch with her as well.

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

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