I Poop And I Vote | Discuss The Movement
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We politely thank those who kept the seat warm. But it is time to wash our hands of them.
All across the continent United States, the voter rolls are piling up with men and women who look down in disgust at what they see left behind. It wasn't an accident that the mounding fathers instituted a three-ply system of checks and balances--such a system ensures the regularity of our democracy. It cannot grow loose.
No more stalling. It is someone else's turn on the throne. The air must be freshened. The logjams bunging up the progress of our nation must be pushed out.
We look for inspiration to the massive accomplishments of those great Americans who left their office cleaner than when they came in: John Adams, John Hancock, John Marshall, John Jay, John Tyler, John Paul Jones, Andrew Johnson, John Browning, Thomas Brown, Fannie Lou Hamer, William C. Gorgas, Dorothea Dix, and Frederick Douglass. It is their legacy that has given us judicial decisions forming the fundament of our movement: Brown vs. Board of Education (1954), Curtis Publishing Co. v. Butts (1967), and Grosjean v. American Press Co., Inc. (1936).
The sun must shine where it currently don't. The white clouds must part. This purge will not be smooth, but victory could be achieved in a single sitting. With enough moral fiber, we will smoothly move into the future!
Add your pledge of solidarity below!
(As always, partisan comments will be deleted. Our movement transcends politicians and parties. As far as we're concerned, no politician is worth our vote -- until they've holeheartedly endorsed our platform!)
About the Author
I am the founder, editor-in-chief, and dictator of PoopReport.com. I am also the author of Poop Culture: How America is Shaped by its Grossest National Product, published by Feral House. You can email me at dave {(at)} poopreport dot com.
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32 Comments on "I Poop And I Vote | Discuss The Movement"
Yes............The Federal Government needs a giant colonic. Out with the old shit, back to
habeas corpus and checks and balances as intended by our founding fathers. No more arrogant kings but only presidents from now on.
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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
i support the movement, dave!
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i love poop.
i love poop.
One child was asked to name the 2 political parties.
Her answer: the Bushes and the Clintons.
The reason for the 4 year terms was to prevent a Dynastic Government such as they had in Europe - One family or group controlling the country for a long time.
Four years seemed a lifetime to the Founding Fathers.
Today, it seems to be a fleeting moment.
Now, we have a 2 1/2 term (10 year) limit to the Presidency under the 25th Amendment.
When you're elected, you spend 2 years learning the job, and 2 years campaigning to keep it. If re-elected, you then spend 4 years trying to find a good replacement in your party.
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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....
You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....
I will flush away the old white turd and deposit fresh brown one. Democracy begins on the throne.
Considering the field of likely candidates, our nations motto during this election should be:
"Flush twice. It's a long way to the White House."
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My special needs student crapped in your honor roll student's backpack.
Yo quiero Taco Bell.
To quote the ventriloquist Jeff Dunham and his 'friend' Peanut:
"Polish a Turd -- It's Still a Turd!"
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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....
You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....
The White House needs a Roto-Rooting. Our country is skidding out of control, and the only way to squeeze out change is to get in the box and pull the lever.
What a great idea, fighting crap with crappers. Politics and poop, both require daily damage control. Who would understand that better than a pooper? I want to get this movement going! It is time for purging action.
Politics, like shit, is a nasty game. We should have politicians whose names are representative of the stench they leave in our nostrils. Names like; Abraham Stinkin,
Ulysses S. Grunt, Herbert Mover, Richard
Outhouse Nixon. What ever became of
Colan Power now that we could use him?
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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
916sirpoopsalot.....It seems that poop also comes out in your posts.
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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
I can't believe you guys actually made a website on poop. This is too much. Well, I actually have gotton to use the ladies room in Wasilla next to herself, Sarah Palin a number of times a couple years ago. If only the people watching her speak now could experience her shitting like I have. She must eat the whole moose because she shits like few others I've had to be next to, and she grunts, too. She's a clogger, too. And it is quite a powerful stench, not really worse than normal, just really strong. And once she was in a hurry and it didn't flush, if only I had a picture for you guys you would fall over. It was absolutely huge and came up the side in the toilet (yes, I took a peak, can you blame me?) So there you have it. If only people around the country knew what I know. Sarah Poolin, the Vice Pooper!
Good for Sarah--a pooper like the rest of us! Just remember Will Rogers' comment: when asked to show that "pro" meant the opposite of "con," he said, "Progress and Congress." Also, "When Congress makes a law, it's a joke; and when Congress makes a joke, it's the law!"
¡Si, se caca!
As far as i'm concerned all politicians care about is wiping their ass with american dollars!!! We send everything overseas, they profit while we ache! Gone are the times of doing the right thing!! Now it's do what's right for ME ME ME!!! Rebup/ Demi's...they're all at fault & really dont see either party to make much of a difference!
I am in the movement! Let us flush on inauguration day at NOON in a symbolic gesture of FLUSHING out the previous administration. Let us welcome our new leader whoever they may be. Welcome them with a twenty one dump salute! Let us as always pray for our leadership present and future! God Bless America.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!
AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)
Dave....If I start pooping twice a day will I be allowed to vote twice??
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!
Chief if you live in Ohio or Florida you just MIGHT be able to.
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AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)
AHHHHHEMMMMMMMMMM JUST CLEARING MY THROAT!! ;)
hey i have pelatives in ohio i sh0uld tell them thqt
Wow...thats...interesting
I think that the government needs a big, huge laxative stimulus bill! (pun intended) Great idea, love it!
Cacare est orare.
my butt is leaky
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