Down in Lee`s Summit, Missouri, there`s a secret lab manned by a lone researcher. In a twenty by forty foot windowless, locked room, Audie Murphy, Metcraft Industries` development director, has invented an uber-toilet for use in America`s prisons.

This high tech, stainless steel turd dispenser can flush efficiently using only one gallon of water. Considering that one inmate will often flush up to thirty times a day with old style three-to-five gallon hoppers, the new design will create a huge saving on water use.

Unlike most people, a prison inmate uses the prison toilet to flush away more things than just human waste. They are a multi-tasking device: ashtray; contraband dispenser; even soft drink cooler with the pan being flushed from time to time to keep the cans nice and cool.

Prisons are looking to save money and energy, so as Steve Connaughton, product manager for a toilet valve manufacturer said, “The time for this toilet has come.”

Mr. Murphy recently showed off his baby at several trade shows pointing out the pan`s various features, including a reseal cylinder and an opening in the front of the bowl from which air and then water jets out to break up even the most stubborn fecal matter. His party trick is flushing thirty-five golf balls down the tubes in one go.

At the end of the demonstration, Murphy raised his head with pride and commented, “I`ve got the best job in the building.”

Shannon Peterson does not like to clean up after her two dogs, so when she saw someone on Craigslist was offering to pick up dog poop for a weekly fee per dog, she called him. The man, a recently-unemployed, former pet store owner, had decided to take control over his jobless situation. .

Frost was unable to gather enough funds to start a new business and stated that the recession hit him hard. However, he didn’t let that fact stop him. In fact, his gumption is downright refreshing.

"I said, well I could go start picking up dog poop. There's not a lot of people in town that do that."

Damn strait, Jeff!

Frost charges eight dollars for a one-time weekly cleaning for each dog, ten dollars if you’d like him to pick up poop twice. He even spritzes some sanitizing yardpourri on your assaulted lawn at no extra charge. If you’d like your dog’s nails clipped, or if you’d like it walked or to be baby-sat, Frost offers these services, too. In fact, if you have a horse, he’ll even pick up its poop – for a slightly larger fee.

He now has ten clients and hopes for more. In fact, this entropooneur would like to have enough dog owners on his route giving him the business from the business end of their dogs so that he can hire employees; this way he can increase the area that he can serve.

His website, poopbegone.biz, offer 100% satisfaction guaranteed and a free week for new customers. He has other neat features on his site. For one, he offers pet waste stations from Dogipot to the public. Parts of the site aren’t filled in yet, but it seems that he will deliver this waste basket/receptacle that has a doggie stick figure sign and baggie dispenser on top of it to the area of one's choosing. He also has an Amber Alert banner that runs along the top of each page. That's a nice touch.

It’s great to see someone who wants to work so badly that he’ll pick up dog poop instead of doing nothing. Our hats are off to you, Jeff Frost. You are most definitely one of us!

South Africa is known as a crime-ridden country; rapes and murders per capita are among the highest in the world. However, you`d think that going for a crap in your workplace restroom would be relatively safe.

Not so for poor Rajubi Hasani, who worked in a general store in Durban. He`d been employed for only three weeks at the store and apparently was not acquainted with the shop`s strict toilet code. One afternoon Rajubi was overcome by an urge to defecate and proceeded to the store`s only commode where he duly downloaded a satisfactory set of logs.

On exiting the facility he was confronted by his boss, who inquired as to what had been going on. Upon replying, Rajubi was told in no uncertain terms that the toilet was for the sole use of his boss. Ignorance of the rules regarding the crapper was clearly unacceptable as his employer pulled out his gun and shot Rajubi in the knee.

The manager casually went about his business as Rajubi stumbled outside, collapsed, and was taken to hospital to have the bullet removed.

He said, after being discharged, “Who does this to another person? Where was I supposed to go if I was not meant to use the toilet in the store?”

The police don`t appear to be overly concerned; a case has been opened but no arrests have been made or guns confiscated. Toilet etiquette in South Africa is obviously taken far more seriously than in most countries!