On Saturday night I took my wife out to dinner for her birthday. We went to Morton's Steakhouse in downtown Cleveland. For the people unfamiliar with Morton's, it is a fancy expensive place where alot of rich and famous people eat. There were two pro football players from the Kansas City Chiefs (in town to play the Browns) eating at Morton's when we were there.
The dinner was great. One of the best I had ever eaten. We had Caesar salad, filet mignon, Shrimp Alexander, red potatoes with onion, asparagus and cheese cake. And, of course, beer.
Afterwards we went out to our neighborhood bar and got blotto. I was so blotto I sang karoke. I did a duet with my wife of "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meatloaf and I did "One Way Out" by the Allman Brothers by myself.
The next morning I was feeling pretty good, not too hung over. My stomach was growling and I was hungry. I went to the bathroom to take a shower. All of a sudden I let out a massive fart that smelled of filet mignon. It smelled wonderful, good enough to eat!
Well, over the next several hours, I farted my ass off and then finished it off with a huge "expensive dinner" shit. I wonder, if I was rich and could eat high quality food all the time, would my shit not stink bad?
I know we have discussed the theory of why we sometimes enjoy the smell of our own farts, but are disgusted by the smell of others. There are many times that I have planned on eating leftovers from the previous night's dinner for lunch, but after taking my lunchtime dump and smelling the previous night's dinner, it is hard to go eat the leftovers -- it is as if I am eating my shit.
In a couple of weeks my wife is taking me to Pittsburgh, PA for my birthday. We will go to some fancy place to eat and are going to a Pittsburgh Pirates / Chicago Cubs baseball game.
I will let you know if my shit again smells good enough to eat.
-- Doniker [1]
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