Published on PoopReport.com (http://www.poopreport.com)

Spreading Religious Dogma

By Jaybowel
Created Jan 7 2002 - 12:00am
My father works as a counselor at the Presbyterian church he attends. They have a small staff consisting of the pastor, a secretary, the cleaning woman and my dad. The pastor thought it would be a good idea to try and make the normally quiet church office a little more lively, so he invited dad to start bringing our Cocker Spaniel, Clancey, to work with him.

Clancey's still got a bit of puppy in him at a little over a year old. But other than being a little rambunctious, he was a great addition to the staff. He kept people company, made them feel needed and generally did all the things dogs do. Yes, all the things dogs do.

My dad is also a member of the choir, which is directed by the pastor. On one particular Thursday, my dad didn't have time to take Clancey home before rehearsal, so he asked my mom (also in choir) to take Clancey for a walk before it started. She agreed and took Clancey from my Dad while he ran inside the church to meet someone.

Mom brought Clancey into the church after his walk and he began exploring it as the pastor began his pre-choir talk. This was not uncommon, as Clancey goes wherever my dad is. No one really noticed.

"Did he go?" my Dad whispered to my mom.

"Well, he walked around a lot, and he peed, but no poop." she replied.

"I was sure he had to go..." replied my dad, trailing off.

At that moment, right in the middle of the stage, right in front of everyone, Clancey started casting out his inner demons: all within him that was not pure. He took a giant dump.

The pastor (the only one not facing Clancey) tried to keep talking, while more and more people looked on with shock at the act of dog taking place before their eyes. Some saw and believed. Some didn't. Someone finally pointed. The pastor stopped. Time seemed to stand still at that moment. No one really knew what the protocol for this situation was. Clancey scraped off his feet and ran merrily down the aisle to where my parents were seated, still in shock. My mom ran out to find paper towels. Everyone started laughing.

Clancey taught the congregation a valuable lesson that day. He showed them that each one must give to the church in his own way, according to his portion. It seems that Clancey's portion of Eukanuba and Beggin' Strips had been especially bountiful that day, and he felt the urge to show others what he had been given, in the only way he knew how. Bless his little heart.

-- Jaybowel [1]


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