MORNING, ONE FINE DAY. Dave gets into work and enjoys a bagel and coffee. After a few hours of hard work at inadequate pay, his stomach starts a-rumblin'...

MORNING, ONE FINE DAY. Dave's co-worker gets into work and enjoys a breakfast that probably consisted of refriend beans and a couple of gallons of milk. After a few hours of hard work, his stomach starts a-rumblin'...

Being the ever-dillegent worker that he is, Dave decides to wait two more minutes before adjourning to the little boys' room.

Dave's coworker adjourns to the little boys' room.

Dave enters the little boys' room. He goes to the left stall, noting the right is already occupied.

Dave's coworker picks up his newspaper, and prepares to do his business.

Dave unbuckles, pulls down, sits down. He wishes there was a newspaper for him to read. Customarily, there is a newspaper in the left stall, but the occupant of the right stall appears to have liberated it.

After finishing his article, Dave's coworker begins to let loose.

Dave begins to let loose. From under the wall dividing the stalls, just as Dave's business is about to begin, a defeaning fart emerges. "PPBbBBthththt!!!!!"

Dave's coworker lets loose a deafening fart. "PPBbBBthththt!!!!!"

Dave looks up, confused. He knows he didn't feel anything come out, but the sound (which was so loud, it appeared to come from within Dave's own stall) suggests otherwise.

Dave's coworker utters a quiet sigh of relief.

Dave tries again.

"PPBbBBPPBBBPth!!!!!"

Dave is confused. What is malfunctioning, his ears or his sphincter nerves?

Another inaudable, content sigh.

Dave pushes.

"Pbbbpptththt!!!!!!"

Dave checks the toilet. Nothing there. He pauses.

Dave's coworker gathers his strength.

Dave tries again. A meek, tentative push.

"Pssvvvttt"

Pause.

Pause.

Push.

"Pfffttt"

Pause.

Pause...

Paauusse...

Paauusse...

Pauuuuuuuuse...

"PPpBLATTTTTppfftttshshsht!!!"

"A-ha!!" thinks Dave.

"Pbbbshth!!!" "PPFffffttblllaaat!!!!" "Sppllltittt ttHGNGNGTHTHTgh chchchchc PPTT ppppttt!!!!"

Dave smiles, relieved. His sphincter nerves haven't failed him after all!

"BLLATTT!!! BLAPPPPOW!!! BZZZChhhhpppt!!!!"

Now that all the confusion has been cleared up, Dave finally lets loose. "Pbbbt." "Ptthhhhhh." "Szzszzszzpbt."

Dave's coworker lets loose his grand finale, a trumpet fanfare followed by a dwindling buzz, similar to the sound bagpipes make as they deflate. "BLAAA!!!aaa TTaaaaTT!!mmm nnnn nnnnn nnnnnnnnzzzzz zzssssww wwwwmmmwwwmmm."

"Whew!" Dave wipes his brow with relief, and then wipes his ass with toilet paper.

"Man!!!" Dave's coworker wipes the sweat from his brow, and then wipes the leftovers from his brown eye.

Dave sits quietly, patiently waiting for his coworker to leave. There is no way he wants to make eye contact with whoever that was!

Dave's coworker puts down the newspaper, stands up, pulls up, washes up, and leaves.