I work at a supermarket called Associated, where I am a stockboy. Being a stockboy, I have to deal with many strange customers, as do the other stockboys. Living in a town where most of the people are 60 or older makes my day even more exciting.

I work with this guy named Lee, who is a little slow, pretty heavy from excessive drinking, and only shaves whenever he gets his hair cut -- which means he looks like a beast 90% of the time. Lee is often the butt of many jokes.

One day an old lady was by the dairy section, grabbing the milk and orange juice. Her limbs were violently shaking and this really nasty odor came from her direction. A green liquidy turd trickled down her legs and went onto the floor of the store. Jimmy and Rob, two stockboys at the time, watched this in shock and awe as this event took place. When they told Frank, the boss, he said, "Just have Lee clean it up."

The two stockboys told to clean the mess up, not telling him what it was. Lee got some paper towels and beganneatly sopping up the crap, without looking at all disgusted.

After he was done, Rob and Jim went over to Lee and said, "Lee do you know what that was?" Lee said with his typical studder, "uhhhhhhhh yeah, it was ccccreamed spinach".

The two stockboys just laughed.

-- Joe B.