I have a congenital disease that has caused some of the joints in my shoulders, back and hips to fuse and become immobile. I walk funny; but apart from not being able to dance the hula or do a decent sit-up, I'm generally able-bodied. In recent years, however, as things have progressed, I've had a harder and harder time wiping my ass.

Fact is, I can no longer wipe myself from behind, as I'm not flexible enough to reach my asshole from that direction. Over the past several years, I've only been able to wipe by bending over and reaching between my legs.

A while back I started looking for something I might use that could extend my reach.

[1] [2] [3] Open, insert paper, wipe, release. What could be simpler?

I found several devices on the Internet that were supposedly designed for that sort of thing, but they all looked like complicated mechanical arms with hinges and swivels and such. To me, a) they didn't look like they would work, and b) they seemed destined to get covered with shit in the process.

Then I found the Bottom Buddy [4].

The Bottom Buddy consists of a curved plastic handle with a golf-ball sized head at one end. The head features flexible plastic pieces that resemble the closed bud of a flower. Pry the petals apart, insert a wad of toilet paper or a moist wipe, and it's as if your arm has just grown a foot longer. Reach back (from in front or behind), wipe, and then press the release button on the handle to drop the soiled paper into the toilet.

I've been using the Bottom Buddy for about six months, and it's comfortable, clean, and does what it's supposed to do. Because it's low-tech, it's also simple -- no plumbing, no batteries, no fuss or muss. I keep it in a drawer in the bathroom and it's always handy.

I believe it's made in Korea, and can be found through a number of web-based providers of home health supplies. The price is just under $40, although it may vary by a buck or two, depending on whom you buy it from. That's not exactly cheap, but the thing is well made and won't fall apart after a couple of weeks.

I have no interest in the manufacturer or sellers of this device -- I'm just a satisfied user and thought there might be others here who could benefit. And, no, I don't know if the manufacturer is aware of the alternate meaning of the product's name.

-- Jimmy TenEyes [5]

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Editor's note: For comparison, I tracked down a few other types of assisted wiping devices. Jimmy TenEyes wasn't kidding!

[6] [7]

[8] [9]