Wet Wipes: The Great Wipe Hope?

Editor's note: this conversation originated in the PoopReport Forums [1].

Super Bowel:
Last night I was at the store, and I picked up some ultra soft antibacterial, wet wipes. Made by some toilet paper company, I forget, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is how great they work! Holy shit, I have never felt so clean in my entire life, and my asshole doesn't have that tearing rugburning feeling that dry toilet paper gives it. I highly recommend them to anyone who has not tried them!

[2]

[3]
Cottonelle Rollwipes [4] and Charmin Freshmates [5]. Are they the next generation of toilet paper? Or just a worthless product upgrade?

Doniker:
I enjoy the tearing rugburned asshole sensation, it's a sign of a wiping job well done!!

Snapper:
Wet wipes are pretty sweet. I try to carry them with me for my work when I'm going into people's homes. You never know what supplies they have for cleaning themselves, if any.

Another beautiful trick that I recently learned is say if there's a big poop mess, use a cloth or cloth-like thing with hot water and rub a bit of Vaseline into the cloth. Sweep, and all is gone. I was so impressed by that.

dave:
Chip is a big opponent of wet wipes. It's been a while since we've heard from him regarding the subject, hopefully he'll reiterate his point of view.

Trashcanman:
hey dave, have you seen matt's video: a how to on installing a wet wipe dispenser [6]. Classic, he has that topic nailed. We need to talk to him about the subject.

Chip Brown:
Okay, here it is Dave. I admit I'm a stick in the mud, I really prefer vinyl LPs to CDs, but that's another story.

Let me put this bluntly, wet wipes are for fools!

It's just some corporate advertiser's scam to get people to consume more stuff. There's nothing wrong with toilet paper (I don't mean the institutional brands). The wet wipe conspiracy is an attempt to convince you that toilet paper is inadequate and so is your anus. It's just like they're doing with DVDs. There's really no benefit over the good ole VHS tapes, they just put all the "outtakes" and crap that didn't make the film on it. That way you have to pay Disney and Lucas Films twice for the same movie. Once everybody has bought DVD, they'll think of something new.

I know a guy who studies potato beetles. A corporation pays him to kill the bugs with pesticides, then he breeds those that survive, kills them, breeds the survivors, etc, etc. Basically the pesticide manufacturers know that insects will become resistant to insecticides so they try to stay several generations ahead of the game.

Wet wipes are just the beginning.

The consumer tread mill will be the death of us all, get off while you can!