Soon after arriving in Japan, I had to take a massive poop du jour.

Most toilets in Japan are Asian style -- meaning you have to squat. My first experience with one was the most horrible I have ever experienced.

As I pulled my pants down to my knees, I forgot that my pants and underwear were forming an impassible bridge from my butt to the throne. I sqeezed out a chunky cheeser and it plopped in my shorts like an outfielder catching a flyball.

Not only the feeling of defeat overwhelmed me, the stench was just unbearable. When you are squating the smell just seems to whaft up into your face.

After that, I began to get totally nude just to take a crap. It didn't help the smell, but stopped the load factor in my shorts. I did this for 6 months until I moved to a new apartment with a western style crapper.

-- P.J.

{EDITOR'S NOTE: After seeing his article, the author pointed out that this picture of Japan looks like a giant, mangled turd. Although I didn't explicitly intend that, it's pretty funny.}