What's new at PoopReport? Big, big changes. After five years and 2500 hand-generated HTML pages, we've made the big and complex and challenging move to a database driven site.

So what does this mean for you?

First and foremost, you'll note that you now have the option to log in to submit comments. This does two really important things:

1. Protects your identity. No more fake posts!
   
   
2. Allows you to accumulate points. Soon (it may not be implemented right away) users will get points for every action they take to build the PoopReport community. Making a comment = 1 point. Publishing a story = 10 points. Inviting another user to join = 7 points. And so on. Soon it'll be clear who are the real movers and shakers in the world of intellectual feces.
   
   
3. Create a profile that tells the world who you are.
   
   
4. And more neat stuff.

So how do you get your identity?

ACCESSING YOUR EXISTING IDENTITY
If you've ever had a story published on PoopReport, or if you're a frequent commenter, I've created an identity that's waiting for you. Click to request a password [1] and enter your username. The computer will email a password to whatever address I have on file for you. If it doesn't arrive after a minute or two (and be sure to check your spam folder!) then email me [2] and I'll get you your password.

"BUT I DON'T WANT AN IDENTITY!"
You don't need one. PoopReport still allows you to comment without signing in. The only difference: your comment will go into a queue to be approved by a human being before it appears. Hopefully that doesn't take very long -- we've got quite a few moderators working to expedite the process.

However: there's really no reason not to register. It takes two seconds, your identity is protected, and I'll never sell your address to spammers. Promise.

WHAT ELSE IS NEW?
Gosh, a whole bunch.

• You can email pages to friends.
• You can subscribe to RSS feeds.
• See the latest comments anywhere on the site -- now the conversation doesn't end just because the story is in the archives.
• Better troll protection. Assholes and fetishists are a thing of the past.

Coming soon:

• a Hall of Fame
• User points
• Integrated forums
• Integrated chat
• More functional section index pages than what we have now
• More functional user profiles and individual user archives than what we have now

The best part: my reign of terror is over. For five years I've held this site in a dictatorial stranglehold. Well, my glorious palace on the Tigris has been sacked. My statue has been toppled. This is the first step towards distributing the responsibilities here on PoopReport -- more people to moderate, more people to edit, more people to work on the site and make it better.

Not everything has been implemented yet, and I'm sure there are still bugs to be worked out yet. If you spot one, by all means let me know [3]. If you have trouble logging into your account, means let me know [4]. And if you have any suggestions, means let me know [5].