Published on PoopReport.com (http://www.poopreport.com)

Quilted Northern

By Luke
Created Oct 17 2001 - 11:48pm
quilted northern

RATING: [1]     68/85
COST/THOUSAND SHEETS:     $1.50


COST PER ROLL:   $.30
# OF SHEETS:   200
# OF PLYS:   2
 
MEASUREMENT:  
SQ. FOOTAGE:  
COLOR:   white

PACKAGING KIND:
Plastic, in multipacks.
ANY OTHER INFO:
At my local supermarkets (Publix, WinnDixie - Florida) they have been selling the "large rolls." I don't know if this is the manufacturer or the store but it is NOT suitable for the average home with a sunken toilet paper dispenser --- they are usually not large enough to accomodate the roll, making it annoying to get the paper out. Price of $.30 per roll is for the Giganto Pack of 24 rolls for $7.29. Have been unable to find the regular 12 roll pack lately which ran $3.50 to $4.00 but was easier to store in the bathroom.

OBJECTIVE DESCRIPTION:
Pretty smooth, good enough to blow your nose in a cold. Smells pleasant (before use) but not overwhelming. Is absorbent but never gets everything on the first wipe (what paper does?) -- but I think that is more my fault than the paper's (I just GOTTA stop driking beer and prunes). It feels pretty good, sort of like Kleenex. But then again I spent time in Europe, which exports their toilet paper to the US for use as thin grit sand paper (aisle 7 in Home Depot). It tears pretty easy and you don't have to wrestle it from the roll, although once in a while somewhere in the assembly line, there must be a problem because I have encountered some rolls that are rolled up in bizarre shapes like something that went through the teleporter in the "The Fly" movie.
SUBJECTIVE REVIEW:
I've been using this brand for about 8 years, hate it when I can't find it. Northern doesn't seem to promise much so there are no promises to break. I question their packaging options -- e.g. 24 roll pack sold at the supermarket. If I want that size I can go get a membership at Costco, Sam's or BJ's, gimme a break. I shouldn't have to build a new cabinet just to store toilet paper. Same thing with the "double rolls", 400 sheets per roll instead of 200, the damn roll is so large I gotta use a crowbar to fit it into the dispenser. This may be fine for public toilets with "institutional" dispensers, but for the average home it's a mess. Plus, until you've gotten a good number of sheets off the roll, it will only dispense one sheet at a time. Wrestling the toilet paper while having a moist and filthy ass is not my idea of fun.

SOFTNESS   5
CLEAN-UP ABILITY   4
STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY   4
TEXTURE   4
QUALITY OF PERFORATION   3
APPEARANCE   4
AESTHETICS OF BRAND NAME   4
AESTHETICS OF PACKAGING   4
FUNCTIONALITY OF PACKAGING   3

SCENTED?   no
QUILTED?   yes
PERFORATED?   no
PATTERNED?   no


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