SPECIAL REPORT: Ply's Does Matter: submission form

(If you are unfamiliar with the goals of this project, click here [1] to learn all about The World's Most Comprehensive Survey of Toilet Paper Brands.)

It's time to submit all the information you've pooped so hard for. Just fill out the form below. And when you come to the areas where you provide subjective reviews of your experience, remember --- be subjective. Be as funny, as nice, or as mean as you need to be.

NOTE: Please don't review Scott. We've had about 50 reviews of that already. Any others are just fine.

Name:
Email address:
Can we publish your email address?
YES NO

QUALITATIVE DATA:

Brand name:
Manufacturer:
Cost per roll:
Number of sheets:
Sheet measurement:
Square footage:
Number of plys:
Color:

YES/NO OBSERVATIONS

Scented?
Perforated?
Quilted?
Patterned?

RATING SCALE

Please rate your brand according to the following attributes. Please note: some attributes are more important than others (softness, for instance), and will be given more weight in the final result.
Softness (weight = x3):

Clean-up ability (weight = x3):

Structural Integrity (weight = x3):

Texture (weight = x2):

Quality of Perforation (weight = x2):

Appearance of TP (weight = x1):

Aesthetics of Brand Name (weight = x1):

PACKAGING OBSERVATIONS

Kind:
Printed Superlatives:
(example: "Softest ever!" or "Soft, strong, lasts long!")
Printed Comparisons, etc.:
(example: a chart comparing Charmin Ultra with regular Charmin, etc)
Any other info:
(anything pertinent from the packaging, including slogans or seals of approval)

Aesthetics of Packaging (weight = x1):

Functionality of Packaging (weight = x1):

QUALITATIVE DATA

Objective description:
============ Please semi-objectively describe the toilet paper. Be honest, feel free to be funny, but try to be slightly objective. How does it look? How does it feel in your hand? Does it roll smoothly? Do the perforations tear easily? Does it smell nice? Try to write this before you actually use it, so as to be relatively unbiased.

Subjective Review:
============ Here is your chance to describe your experience with this brand. Be as brutal or as nice as you want --- it's your butt this big, faceless corporation is messing with. Did they live up to their promises? How did it feel against your skin? How well did it clean up the mess? Did you have to go back for a second, or third, or fourth pass to clean everything up? Were there any "abnormalities?" If it is moisturized, did it leave you feeling fresh and clean as a newborn? Use your imagination, and rate the experience as if the Pope was buying toilet paper and he was asking for your candid, uncensored advice.

Anything else?
============ Is there anything else about this brand the toilet-going public should know?