Gary Coleman... because he hasn't done shit in years but is still floating around.
-- Posted by Tony [5].

Ron Popeil (see this pic [6]). This is one man who has devoted his life to peddling shit to the wary consumer. By shit, I am obviously referring to substandard items of convenience that turn the laziest of people into the... uh... MORE laziest people. Does the food dehydrator ring a bell? Yes, he taught us that you can turn anything into jerky.

Anyhow, he is charismatic and believes in his products no matter how lame they are. Also, check out his last name; Popeil, pronounced (poh-peel). There is a library of shit jokes and poop references in his last name alone. Visit http://shop.ronco.com/ [7] and you be the judge.
-- Posted by Jeff.

Sally Struthers might also want to carry the banner triumphant. Her caloric intake alone would have to produce buckets full of hot steamy loaf.
-- Posted by Tony [8].

Mr. T - "Read the poopreport! Go to school! Aand don't do drugs!" "Oh yea... be tough like me, Mr. T! You too can be part of the 'A' team."
-- Posted by Professor Lump [9].

Rodney Dangerfield would be great. He is just like poop: he gets no respect and most of the time he stinks.
-- Posted by Doc [10].

What about Tom Green? NONE of the other people listed here would show half the enthusiasm that he would. Hell, he'd probably do it for free!
-- Posted by KillahKelley.