What a fantastic time to be alive.
We have a 40-foot colon snaking its way through the nation.
Last week we had the powderpuff poop hazing that made national news.

In keeping with the subject of poop, I offer an exclusive.
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Nearly two dozen Dixie County High School seniors - many of them honor students - have been asked to pay restitution for smearing horse manure, sardines and tuna fish over their school walls and doors in what the principal said is the worst act of vandalism she has ever seen at the school.

Authorities believe the incident was a senior class prank that got out of control.

When school officials walked into Dixie County High School in Cross City on Wednesday morning, they found a huge mess, Principal Charlotte Lord said. "Every entranceway had horse manure, sardines and prunes on it, [1]" Lord said. "They had smeared sardines or tuna fish on the walls in the hallway, so it smelled. It was just a disgusting mess to get through."