CONTEST #14: A Toilet's First Time

[1]
**FIRST PRIZE**
The best entry will win a copy of The Journal [2]. But you should buy one anyway.

In a recent story, Doniker discussed [3] taking a toilet on its maiden voyage. What he didn't do, however, is come up with a canonical phrase to describe such an event. That is your task.

The winner receives a copy of The Journal of Ass Production [4] -- the bible of the PoopReporting generation.

Vote now! And scroll down to see all the original entries.

THIS CONTEST HAS ENDED. See the winners here! [5]

--- ADDED JAN 16 ---

A Virgin Merde-y
-- posted 1.16.02004 by The Big Wiper [6]
A Home Depot Debut
-- posted 1.16.02004 by The Big Wiper [7]
The Sweet Turd Of Youth
-- posted 1.16.02004 by The Big Wiper [8]
A Christencrap
-- posted 1.16.02004 by The Big Wiper [9]
The Bum Voyage
-- posted 1.16.02004 by The Big Wiper [10]
Introducing John to the boys
-- posted 1.16.02004 by Honey Monster [11]
Debone the throne
-- posted 1.16.02004 by Di Uhreea [12]
Gettin' hot with the new pot
-- posted 1.16.02004 by Di Uhreea [13]
Feeling dapper on the new crapper
-- posted 1.16.02004 by Di Uhreea [14]
Testing your ability in the new facility
-- posted 1.16.02004 by Di Uhreea [15]
Dropping the kids at the pool on the new stool
-- posted 1.16.02004 by Di Uhreea [16]
Making a stank with the new tank
-- posted 1.16.02004 by Di Uhreea [17]
Going poo on the new loo
-- posted 1.16.02004 by Di Uhreea [18]
(Doniker specific:)
Beating your meat on the new seat
-- posted 1.16.02004 by Di Uhreea [19]
Hitting poo-berty
-- posted 1.16.02004 by Clustersnarf [20]
Brownseating the porcelain debutante
-- posted 1.16.02004 by Clustersnarf [21]
Tame the bowl
-- posted 1.16.02004 by Tony [22]
Christen the crapper
-- posted 1.16.02004 by Tony [23]
Releasing the beast upon the new seat
-- posted 1.16.02004 by Ass Phlegm [24]
Coal from the hole into the new bowl
-- posted 1.16.02004 by Ass Phlegm [25]
1999 flushes left...
-- posted 1.16.02004 by Ass Phlegm [26]
First groan on the throne
-- posted 1.16.02004 by Ass Phlegm [27]
Graduating from Brown University
-- posted 1.16.02004 by Ass Phlegm [28]
Christening the shitting thing
-- posted 1.16.02004 by Ass Phlegm [29]

--- ADDED JAN 19 ---
Initiation defecation
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Crapola
The number one number two
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Crapola
Inauguration defecation
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Crapola
Brown baptism
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Crapola
Shit in the fresh pit
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Doniker [30]
Splat in the new vat
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Doniker [31]
Shit on it, Potsie
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Doniker [32]
First number two
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Doniker [33]
Sampling the shitter
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Kung Poo [34]
De-flowering your "brown-eye" girl
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Discharge Dan
First blood (?)
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Discharge Dan
Bonding with the new bundle of joy
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Discharge Dan
Losing its turdginity
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Justin [35]
The Bowlening
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Captain Genius [36]
First full moon of the New Year
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Kitty Litter
New Skids on the Pot
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Butt Ugly [37]
Loaf-probing the toilet's sweet hymen!
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Arco! [38]
The maiden voidage
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Daphne [39]
Cosby Kids' christening cruise
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Toiletreader [40]
First flush
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Toiletreader [41]
Toilet, meet ass. Ass... toilet.
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Toiletreader [42]
Redecorating the reading room
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Toiletreader [43]
New route on the merde express bus line
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Toiletreader [44]
New seat in the poopeteria
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Toiletreader [45]
Intamite inauguration
-- posted 1.19.02004 by Toiletreader [46]

--- ADDED JAN 20 ---
The craptism
-- posted 1.20.02004 by ThreePly [47]
Making my first deposit for a free toaster at the new Bank One
-- posted 1.20.02004 by Toiletreader [48]
Casting the first vote on election day
-- posted 1.20.02004 by Toiletreader [49]
First day at poopergarten
-- posted 1.20.02004 by Toiletreader [50]
The first movement of the feces fugue
-- posted 1.20.02004 by Mr. Blumpkin
The new poo
-- posted 1.20.02004 by Sarah
Breaking in the butt basin
-- posted 1.20.02004 by Sarah
Butt-bowl baptism
-- posted 1.20.02004 by Sarah
Launching the Starship Enterpoop
-- posted 1.20.02004 by Sarah
The Blessed Union (of ass and seat)
-- posted 1.20.02004 by Chris
Dirty debutante
-- posted 1.20.02004 by So So
Shit-cinera
-- posted 1.20.02004 by So So
Shitroduction
-- posted 1.20.02004 by So So
First stop on the skidmark express
-- posted 1.20.02004 by Che Guanovara [51]
The turdening
-- posted 1.20.02004 by Che Guanovara [52]
Bowl-ly going where no man has gone before
-- posted 1.20.02004 by Che Guanovara [53]
Porcelain 101
-- posted 1.20.02004 by Che Guanovara [54]
The christening loaf
-- posted 1.20.02004 by Slim Jim Junkie [55]
Baptism by brown fire
-- posted 1.20.02004 by The Shit Reaper
Converting the white heathen
-- posted 1.20.02004 by The Shit Reaper
Butt-mitzvah
-- posted 1.20.02004 by The Shit Reaper
A butt-tism
-- posted 1.20.02004 by Tom Turdriffic [56]
First ride down the porcelain slide
-- posted 1.20.02004 by Tom Turdriffic [57]
Baby's first turds
-- posted 1.20.02004 by Tom Turdriffic [58]
The new skid in town
-- posted 1.20.02004 by Tom Turdriffic [59]

--- ADDED JAN 22 ---
Poopin' that cherry
-- posted 1.22.02004 by Donny B
Cherry poopin' daddies
-- posted 1.22.02004 by Donny B
The poop initiate
-- posted 1.22.02004 by The Other David [60]9
Kon Turdi
-- posted 1.22.02004 by Tsslug7 [61]
Training the doo-doo drain
-- posted 1.22.02004 by Tom Turdriffic [62]
Untying the bow(l)
-- posted 1.22.02004 by Tom Turdriffic [63]
The first taste of waste
-- posted 1.22.02004 by Tom Turdriffic [64]
Kicking off the defecation celebration
-- posted 1.22.02004 by Tom Turdriffic [65]
The starting gun for the American Standard marathon
-- posted 1.22.02004 by Tom Turdriffic [66]
Saying hello to the new god
-- posted 1.22.02004 by Grebuloner
The Awakening
-- posted 1.22.02004 by John-boy Jovi
Taking the plunge
-- posted 1.22.02004 by Poopaholic [67]

--- ADDED JAN 26 ---
Prima kaka
-- posted 1.26.02004 by The Shit Reaper
Inloguration
-- posted 1.26.02004 by Q
First Flush
-- posted 1.26.02004 by Jeff
Breaking in the pot with a shot of butt-snot
-- posted 1.26.02004 by scott_the_turd_eater
The ribbon-pinching ceremony
-- posted 1.26.02004 by scott_the_turd_eater
John's first meal
-- posted 1.26.02004 by Couch
Brown the drain
-- posted 1.26.02004 by Poop Patroller [68]
Test-driving the porcelain Cadillac
-- posted 1.26.02004 by Insane Wayne [69]
The rite of passage
-- posted 1.26.02004 by John-boy Jovi
The worthiness test
-- posted 1.26.02004 by John-boy Jovi
Swearing in the porcelain president
-- posted 1.26.02004 by John-boy Jovi
(S)hitting the bunny slopes
-- posted 1.26.02004 by Muddy Waters
Baby's first turds: "Daddy!"
-- posted 1.26.02004 by Muddy Waters
Porcelain popping
-- posted 1.26.02004 by Diesel [70]
First crack at the job
-- posted 1.26.02004 by The Big Wiper [71]
L'il Johnny's first "Say ahh!"
-- posted 1.26.02004 by The Big Wiper [72]
Another of Cleveland's finest sets sail
-- posted 1.26.02004 by Anathema13 [73]
Loosing poopginity
-- posted 1.26.02004 by Karen Rick
Baby's first sit-and-shit
-- posted 1.26.02004 by Karen Rick
Hey Mikey, he likes it!
-- posted 1.26.02004 by Karen Rick
The ceremonial launching of the brown trout
-- posted 1.26.02004 by JB
Corn-onation of the King's new throne
-- posted 1.26.02004 by Muddy Waters
The Assfirmation
-- posted 1.26.02004 by Muddy Waters
Imaculate poop conception
-- posted 1.26.02004 by Julia Gulia
Poo new
-- posted 1.26.02004 by Poopedem [74]
First flush with feces
-- posted 1.26.02004 by Quasimoto [75]
Giving the new boy shit
-- posted 1.26.02004 by Fart Licker [76]
Dropping the kids off at a new school
-- posted 1.26.02004 by doodooball123 [77]
The first commode load
-- posted 1.26.02004 by Jacque Hass

THIS CONTEST HAS ENDED. See the winners here! [78]