Thanks to Crapola for making us aware of yet another market niche we didn't know existed:

Dog Diapers.

I gotta be honest with you guys; I'm a newly-wed; I lived alone for 4 years, and now have a built-in roommate. While this has it's obvious perks, I also have to mentally prepare for the Baby Bomb. I know from past conversations with, "The Spouse", that the bomb has already been dropped, but it hasn't decended low enough to my sphere-of-conciousness to be of any import. Beleive me, I've thought about it though; I can see the good that would come from populating the earth with more little Dave J's (little being a relative term, ladies)...but then there's the drawback...the ONE drawback...

The Diapers.

I hate changing diapers. If it were up to me I'd have a fully-tiled house with a floor drain in every room. Let the little buggers do what they want, then just spray it away. And that's my opinion of diapers for KIDS!

Dogs I like. I actually want a couple of dogs once we get some land for them to run around on (apartment living isn't conducive to dogs, except maybe those weird little mini-dogs, but come on, we all know those aren't really dogs...hampsters on steroids, maybe, but dogs, certainly not). However, if I tacitly refuse to change my own progeny's dirty drawers, what chance does some mutt have of obtaining the needed care when ITS bag is full?

Exactly.

A very unbiased web-site (haa haa) [1] provided some indepth figures regarding canine population, perceived demand of such a product, testimonials, etc. What they haven't provided (and probably never will) is either an indepth psychological profile of their intended audience (bunch of raging loonies, I'll bet), or a list of the people they surveyed to obtain the reported results (Joan, the mother of the brilliant bulb that's thrusting this necessity upon us, and Stephanie, the crack-head girlfriend of said brilliant bulb). Here's Exhibit A: a Proud (and obviously male) doberman et al. "wearing" one of these devices "willingly": Exhibit A [2]. (I say willingly because if you'll note, these are all line drawings, aka "artist renditions"...no actual photos)

Since the good people of Dog Diaper have gone ahead and procured a domain name for their endeavor (and may some day be potential sponsors of this site), I'll give them a little publicity...whatever. However, I would like to make one salient point against the need for their products:

We diaper our children because we love them, but more so because we love our cars, the clothes we have to buy for those confounded micro-humans, the upholstery, the carpet, and yes, even the neighbor's things MORE. If you really think about it, do you think your kid enjoys having a crapmonster clutching at his butt in an imprisioned environment? Of course not! They'd be much happier to just grunt and strain a little, let it fall to the ground, and move on with the important business of eating random things found on the ground. Diapers are sold as a convience to the baby...but they're not meant for baby. Babies have to wear pants (because of people like Michael Jackson), and so, the pants need some protection. Hence the belabored need for diapers.

Dogs: no pants. Dogs: no shame. Dogs: able to drop a duece in subfreezing temperatures with nary a care in the world. Sure, dogs have accidents; that's why we have newspapers! (read into that as you want...paper training vs. paper training, although I personally advocate the former more so than the latter).

If you try to eliminate the diaper from a NEEDED market (e.g. baby butts), we're all in deep doo-doo. Please, don't try to make us, the American Consumer, feel the need to spend more money on things we need less...

Ooh, Wait! They come in 48 packs!!