My nomination for the Nobel Prize for 2004 (I know, there's still a whole lot of '04 to go, but trust me...this is just that good):

The American Standard Company for the release of their "Tower of Power" Low-Flow toilet.

1.6 Gallons is pretty standard in all but the most outdated homes. While the old 3-5 gallon crap-gobblers of yore could deal with anything from a Kleenex to an overcooked pot roast, the new kids on the block aren't up to much more than a few tiny turds.

Enter the Champion [1]. It looks like a standard toilet (click HERE [2] for a pic of the Champion with Trading Space's Ty Pennington (that should up our female readership rates), but American Standard claims to be able to flush 18 golf balls in one go.

From personal experience, I've noticed another problem with the LowFlows; it's not always the bulk that causes problems. I've had embarassing situations when a turd was ressurected from a watery grave...we've all been there. In honor of Mel Gibson's startling success with his new movie, I'll dub these floaters, "The Passion: The Life of Cheese'n Rice". Now, with floaters, the user is presented with a different problem than he or she would have had it just been way too much crap. No matter how much you flush, there isn't enough vacuum to draw the bugger down. I'm still trying to figure out how to combat the issue (assuming you can't leave it to get waterlogged). Allegedly, the Champion not only dispatches with the plunger, but also with the strategically-laid web of TP, which invarriably fails to sink the unsinkable (my theory is, is that by increasing the drag coefficient of the turd by the surface area of the soggy TP, it has no choice but to go down...kind of like a parachute in reverse).

Ah well, the wife and I are looking to buy/build our first home, so I may just have to get a Champion for myself.

For more intelligent discourse on LowFlows from other lands, check out these pages of PR.com:
Asses and Allies [3]
Asses and Allies: II [4]

Happy flushing!