Published on PoopReport.com (http://www.poopreport.com)

Dave Matthews takes poop story into his own hands

By Turd Hugegrunt
Created Oct 27 2004 - 9:18am
Not the Proudest Monkey, Dave Matthews is offering his humblest apologies and hundred thousand dollars [1] to a group of Tripping Billies who were pooped upon in a not too Typical Situation. It seems Matthews' [2]tour bus driver, for no Rhyme and Reason, decided not to Drive In Drive Out of the municipal septic facilities, and instead unloaded a Crush of crap [3] from a bridge over the Chicago River.

Unfortunately for Matthews, a boatload of Dancing Nancies were directly under the bridge when the Best of What's Around crashed into them like old No. 41. Not exactly One Sweet World for the Unlucky Tourists Ever, huh?

Anyway, the State of Illinois will Seek Up DNA tests to determine if the poop originated from the band's Collective Asshole since the bus driver decided he has not So Much To Say about his culpability. PoopReport suggests the driver 'fess up or Say Goodbye ... it's only a Jimi Thing, dude.

Source URL:
http://www.poopreport.com/BMnewswire/1198.html