PoopReport has remained neutral on the big questions: whether, for example, to stand or sit while wiping; or whether to leave the seat up or down. Still, at the risk of offending some of our readers, we issue the following advisory: men who keep a wallet in their pants should not wear them around their ankles in public restrooms.

This isn't just because we think it looks silly. German police have reported a spate of robberies of ankle-men in public toilets [1]. The latest victim was a 32-year-old anklite from Aachen in North Rhine-Westphalia. The pickpocket, in this case a woman, slipped her hand under the wall of the cubicle and removed the wallet from the man's ankle-draped trousers. The man, who lost about $140, said he was unable to race after the pickpocket immediately "given the situation" and the fact his trousers were around his ankles.