Well, hold onto that turd for a moment, squat ass. Doctors in Calcutta reported the results of a study at the World Congress of Neurology in London which
[3]indicate that squat-shits may increase the chances of a stroke [4]. The doctors started investigating when they realized they were seeing more stroke patients in the morning than any other time of day. Looking at records for a hundred stroke patients, they found just over a half the strokes were occurring between five and nine o'clock in the morning (this, of course, is primetime for shitting).
The Calcutta team also found that squatting, whether defecating or not, raises blood pressure. Based on these findings, they are suggesting that those with high blood pressure avoid squatting.
While their evidence seems pretty flimsy, I've been looking for a semi-solid justification I can give Dave of why I refuse to squat while shitting. Furthermore, I'll bet my bottom dollar that Dave ain't no squatter, despite the occasional advice he delivers to the rest of us.
Dave?