I am steven and I go to red bank high school in chattanooga, tennessee. I thought you should know that on wednesday the 17th of august (our 3rd day of school) we all showed up at school and were huried in the gym. Somebody broke in our school the night before and thrown poop in everything and they had to call school off for all of us at red bank. They had to call HASMAT to clean it up it is very funny. They said that there was at least 10 gallons through out the school on both floors. They are looking for the 5 people on camera who did it. It cost the school hundreds of thousands of dollars to have it cleaned up!! that is what te principal said.I dutifully Googled. Lo and behold, his story checks out! From The Chatanoogan:
"Red Bank High School will reopen on Thursday after an all-day cleanup of extensive vandalism. Students were sent home for the day on Wednesday after urine and feces were spread around the school [1], including on walls, floors, lockers, classrooms and stairwells on two floors. Students were sent to the gymnasium as they arrived, then were told to go home."
While PoopReport doesn't condone vandalism, we're very proud that we've got on-the-scene reporters dispatching for us. Thanks for the update, Steven. Let us know when they catch whoever did it -- and when they figure out whether it was human or animal feces.
Following this vandalism, some columnist in Tennessee felt it necessary to defend the honor of Red Bank High School, spewing out a thousand words on the accomplishments of past graduates [2]. This is a sign of the ultimate Shameful Shitter: he attributes magical powers of contamination to poop, as if the poop on the walls had anything to do with the honor or diginity of the school. Dude: it's just poop. The accomplishments of "Peter Hampton," "Scott Cook" and "Linda 'Link' Sparks" aren't affected by it. Stop being so neurotic.