Lately I've noticed the aggressive and graphic way in which television advertisers have been approaching the subject of toilet training. Huggies and other training products no longer leave anything to the imagination, depicting little boys and girls sitting on the potty with their 'trainers' down or pulling them up proudly right after what has obviously been a successful BM. Historically these ads have been a bit circumspect, preferring to talk all around the subject and settle instead for blurry visuals that concentrated on the box containing the product. These days it's typical even to see a sense of joy portrayed in these presentations, with the toddler

It's cute when they do it. Not adults, though. Eww.

scampering towards his or her mother or father right after the fact to receive important validation for a job well done.

It is my contention that this approach to toilet training is time-honored and has caught up with the reality: that, in order to get a youngster to cooperate fully, a sense of Shamelessness and accomplishment must be imparted from the outset.

Who among us has not witnessed during the training of others (or cannot recall during our own) an incident in which actual applause was rendered by mentors for the appearance in the bowl of floaters, a log, or a pile of pudding? I still remember vividly several incidents from my own childhood, shortly after my toilet training was completed, in which I proudly called my floaters to my mother's attention. For some reason I decided to call those floaters "tucks." Don't ask me how the mind of a toddler works. But until I got bored with doing so, I regularly called my mother into the bathroom following my fledgling BM's and proclaimed, "Look, Mama, I got tucks! I got tucks!" Dutifully she peered down into the bowl with a big smile, applauding lightly and then reminding me to flush after I was through wiping.

I came away from all of it so full of myself I could have popped -- all because I had just pooped. And that's the way every youngster should be encouraged to feel about the process.

Compare, however, the refusal of ad agencies and marketing firms to treat adult bodily functions in the same frank fashion. While it is acceptable to present toddlers in the throes of learning to manage their little systems, it apparently is not permissible to address the subject of adult men and women doing the doo and addressing the aftermath in any more than a cartoonish or fastidious manner. We've all seen those ads: bears rubbing up against or hiding

None of those ads are relevant to my Taco Bell lifestyle.

behind big trees while reading a newspaper, or references to TP as "bath tissue" -- a practice that drives me crazy, since people do not use toilet paper in the bath. They use it when they are sitting on or standing over the crapper to wipe their dirty butts, thank you very much.

It's as if advertisers think adult Americans are simply unwilling to discuss or consider the act of bowel evacuation under any circumstances that reflect reality -- unless it's connected to training cute-as-a-button toddlers. But here's a clue: toddlers soon grow up into children, teens, and then adults. They don't stop eating. They don't stop taking dumps. But one would think, judging by the treatment the subject receives, people have their sphincters sewn up after the age of three.

Let's face facts: this country still has a Shameful Victorian hangover that colors attitudes towards both sexuality and bodily functions. But since this is PoopReport, we are primarily concerned here with the latter. And yes, I'm well-known for my Shamelessness when it comes to this issue; but I don't I'm alone in seeing nothing wrong with clever or tasteful depictions of bodily functions in television and films [1].

Yet the advertising world, ever mindful of public opinion's influence on the mighty dollar, seems to be the last bastion intent on walking on eggshells in this arena. It's easy to picture agencies endlessly test-marketing ads that may begin to encroach slightly on what the industry views as its sense of propriety -- and seeing a cowardly burst of committee-think quickly reining the agency back in to the status quo.

Do I think they should boldly go where no ad agency has gone before? Of course. I've previously suggested [2] that sitcom producers loosen up (no pun intended) regarding their depiction of bathroom activity -- and I don't mean talking around it. We will know that Shamelessness has truly come of age when advertisers sell their products with humorous depictions of people running out of toilet paper, sitting on the john reading the newspaper, and maybe even registering a sense of relief following a "good one" -- rather than fretting and overthinking about consumers taking offense at a fact of life that should be as non-controversial as eating and breathing.