[1]that you're never too young to drop-plop into porcelain [2]. (login: poopreport password: poopreport)
Parents like Hannah's are being trained in what proponents of this new philosophy call "elimination communication" -- learning to attend to subtle clues emitted by their little cuddly so the deary's derriere can be dangled over the toilet at opportune times.
Most enthusiasts are mothers with both a little shit and a lot of time on their hands. But Ms. Boucke, author of one of the method books, reports that fathers are getting into this, too. "They can't breast-feed, but they can work on the other end," she pointed out.
I’m so happy for these boobless dads, but after reading this article, I don't know what to feel for their diaperless infants. I'm suspicious, given that the rationales for early toilet training focus mostly on adult needs -- saved money, no dirty diapers to change or to toss into landfills, and feeling more bonded to the infant. And while it certainly seems humane to spare little ones sitting around unnecessarily in their own shit and piss, I’ve never known an infant who seemed to mind it much, as long as the shit was fresh.
The big question, of course, is whether this early head training will produce head cases -- neurotic shameful shitters in particular. For example, had PoopReport's own The Big Wiper been raised by Ms. Boucke, he would have been deprived of some of his fondest memories [3] and earliest sense of accomplishment. I shudder to think of how the creative flow of many future PoopReporters may be dammed up by an eager-beaver mother and a dad who wishes he had tits.