My instincts tell me that this is purely a figment of some writer's imagination, and it's a fertile one at that.

What's fertile about this proposition is that the writer knew everyone would be intrigued by the three seashells, even if they made no sense in reality.

After all, this was supposed to be the future, and no further explanation need be given. There's a vague suggestion here, however, that the seashells might be for scraping--once, twice and thrice--in-between bidet streams up the ass.

As I said, however,this concept is rather ingenious, since it looks like it might be plausible but doesn't require detailing.

As a writer, I give this an A+.

Try looking:
http://www.stupidquestionsanswered.com/answered/shells.htm

Try reading. That page is full of half-guesses and people saying they don't know.

Here's the only real plausible explanation from that page:

"It is an "advanced" version of a bidet. One to wash your backside, one to air dry and the third to apply a perfume or deodorizer so that the "perfect" society won't stink. The sea shells are cosmetic. In a "perfect" society, there can be no ugliness. The shells cover / hide the function of it. Quite a few people in the United States are not familiar with a bidet."

I don't think that's true. One wouldn't be able to angle one's butt to get the anus above the shell on the left or on the right. Furthermore, anything that sprays water would have some sort of drainage mechanism for the splashback... that shell shelf doesn't have it.

The shells can't be for scraping. It's unhygenic. I wouldn't want to use them after someone else.

Then again, I wouldn't want to scrape crap off my butt with a shell... at all. It sounds painful.

there just buttons, everyone it correct, scraping makes no sence at all.

they would be touch sensors, what they do could be specultion, temputure control, spray control , dryer control(temp, speed)
perhaps the amount of pressure on the seashells determines the speed and temputure, or if the seashells can be rotated, that would add a level of complexity.

I think the seashells are connected to a High-voltge source triggered by a motion detector. Get off the mug, put your butt up there and ZZZZZAAP! A clean sphincter that smells like ozone. I cant wait for the future!

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Actually, that toilet probably is a real design. Many prisons have stainless steel thrones, because they are more difficult to break.

I'm going to disagree with Poopsy-pooper. Working on the assumption that these seashells actually do something, those shells as pictured don't seem to have anything to differentiate one from the other. How would you know what shell controls what?

Then again, at the same time, the cops said, "He probably doesn't even know how to use the shells" or whatever. That kinda implies that the use of the shells is ingrained in their culture so much that they don't bother to design the shells with any hints towards their usability. Everyone in that culture is probably taught how to use them at an early age, so their use is collectively understood.

they don't look like buttons, though. Are those hinges on them? Maybe you flip them up. And then what's under them? What part of the going to the bathroom ritual would you need three of something for? Wash, wipe, dry? Why would they be hidden under three shells? Soap spray, water spray, air spray? That's got some logic to it. However, that toilet doesn't seem to have a spray nozzle.

Things to note: in this future in which people are so used to hiding their bodily desires and funtions, I don't think they'd allow for such utilitarian toilets. You'd thinkg they'd flower them up.

Another: no seat on that toilet. Cold metal. Not very much fun.

Three: the stainless steel toilet brush holder. Probably quite necessary for a stainless steel toilet.

I always figured there was some really cool process. Ultra-sonic or pnuematic or microwave or laser.

Those seashells look like they would make good scrapers though.

I agree with DungDaddy, after thinking for many years that maybe they were for scraping the ass, but this made no sense for reasons Fart Poopie already raised.

Perhaps, as Dave? suggested, they are a sort of bidet, but the adjustments I don't know. The suggestion of DungDaddy makes more sense.

If there is a specific order to the shells I regret that it was just a movie universe. What fun I could have had going into the bathroom and switching the shells around, sort of like the pea in the cup carnival game.

Yeah, they would have put me in DEEP freeze!

Microwaves. Now that's a thought. this is the futuristic technology. A wavelength that causes poop molecules to vibrate and fall off your ass into the toilet. Nice.

Hell, maybe it's not just for cleaning. Maybe the vibrations cause the poop to lose structural integrity in your colon and vibrate out your ass with minimal effort.

The way this thread has evolved proves my point about the ingenuity of this faux-futuristic design for the movie. Look at how it has intrigued everyone, even though, as I said before, it doesn't have to make sense. It only has to look like it MIGHT make sense.

The concept does a 'special effects' number on the mind and keeps people wondering, even though I'm fairly certain a writer or writers along with perhaps input from a special effects person came up with this.

The bottom line is that there never had to be anything technically realistic about the design. It just had to look cool and mysterious. Mission accomplished.

The way everyone keeps talking about the shells reminds me about a joke that takes place in an airplane lavatory.
There is a guy on the plane that really has to go releive some tension. When he looks in the ladies can he notices three buttons, This makes him curious of their purpose. But pressure takes presidence over curiosity, so he assumes the position to do his work. While he's sitting there curiostiy does get to be overwelming so he decides to press the first button marked "WAT", He was startled but appreciated the spray of warm water upon his backside. He was thinking this was pretty neat so he decides to press the second button, this one was marked "DRY". Yup you guessed it warm air floated up and dried his bum.
After all the excitement from the last two buttons he decides to press the last button marked "ATM". Next thing he knows he's waking up in the hospital. He asks the nurse "what happened, the last thing i remember was sitting in the lavatory of the plane now i'm here"? The nurse choked back the laughter and informed the gentleman that he was in the ladies restroom and the "ATM" button he pushed stood for Automatic Tampon Remover, and that his penis was under his pillow.

Anal explosion

I think that some sort of small mollusk comes out of the seashells to clean the ass.

We are assuming that any character that Sylvester Stallone portrayed could figure out what Three Seashell were for.

This is our grand mistake.

I think, therefore, that this entire thread, while interesting, is not possible.

We need to supplement someone for Sly. He's too busy worrying about other things. Like gummy bears and astrology.

We need to use this information and develope time warp with the three shells. That's right. Let's get him back to pre Rocky. Then, this all makes sense.

Erase his career like the shitstain it has become.......

What the hell ever happened to "this was a great movie, let's not fuck it up with a sequel?"

He was awesome in Copland. I'm waiting for Copland 2. I'm Sly gunshy...........

Shoot me, but don't shoot me twice..................hugging bunnies since 1969

I think one of the shells is a button that yanks The Big Wiper's chain.

I think that they just scrape the shit off their ass with the shells.......there's three cause...maybe you didn't get that shit off your ass with the first one. oh and they are made of material that is easily cleaned...so..yea.

Like, yo, daph, you claimin' that Sly don't have no smarts? Where you get that from, woman? You claimin' he can't do no 'Hamlet?' You fulla da ragin' bull!

Hehehehe.

I do not like him on principal, and I do find him moronic on many levels, especially how he deals with women. While he's made some good movies, many of them have been ruined for me with sequel city.

If I want a hunky Italian on the set, I'll take Robert DeNiro!
.....hugging bunnies since 1969

Exactly. DeNiro was the real Ragin' Bull!

The more I read the comments and think about it, the more I tend to agree with Big Wiper. I think it is a clever creation of the writers to make us think. Although, I would guess it is based on a bidet, and the three shells are for:

wash
dry
flush

Although, is it just me, or do the shells look awfully far away to reach and properly clean one's backside?

They are just ornamental TP covers.

Hmmm, that's interesting, bushes. Taking into consideration that sex wasn't even allowed in that society, nor swearing, it is logical to think TP would be covered, whether or not your remark was in jest!

And, Cobra was on tv last night. One and half stars.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

Whatever the shells were for, I would have asked how to use them instead of risking a paper cut on my bum.

Over the Top, another Oscar-nominated film.

I can't help myself.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969

I think that the shells are covers that you flip to open and under each you find a hose.
one for washing, one for drying and one with some purfume or baby powder ...
Be well

Personally i've always wondered fecal matter has to stick to parts of my behind. If my solid wastes had an aditive that made them non-sticky and my behind had some treatment to make it similarly non-stick then i could go to the bathroom and have no mess to clean up.

Perhaps the product that did this was nano-bots fed by the seashells. The before going #2, you'd simply run your hand across the shells (gaining a thin coating of the nano bots) touch your own anal regions (applying them) and then go...

Like the water that beads off fresh wax on a car, your behind would then be as clean as when you went in.

Have you ever noticed the airplane loos have this coating on the bowl so shit does not stick?

I remember hearing a joke once about a new bathroom that can out and a person went in to test it. He goes in sits down and sees 3 buttons. He does his business, but can't find any toilet paper, so he pushes the first button. A gizmo pops out from the wall and automatically wipes his butt, leaving him clean. Hmmm, he thinks, let's try the second button. He pushes it and another gizmo pops out and shakes his thingie for him. Ah, how handy. What the heck, he decides to try to last button. A gizmo appears and rips off his weanie! He get's up and screams 'what the hell was that?!?!' A bystander replies 'automatic tampon remover'

Maybe that's what the inside joke to the movie was...

Ouch, my wiener hurts just thinking of that!!! I imagine the shells were placed there purely to make viewers wonder WTF they really were for. If I had to guess how they wiped, I would hope they all had bidets or something even more effective, like the microwave mentioned above.

_______
Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

News flash: Stallone himself has provided an answer to this question. But does it make sense? Read more here.

The three seashells thing is a real invention. I remember seeing it on a show called "Beyond 2000" back in the mid 90s. It was supposed to save trees by getting rid of the need for toilet paper. There was a bidet-like nozzle in the toilet, and the shelf turned into a washer/steam cleaner to sanitize them for the next use. The way it was supposed to work was you scraped the worst of the mess of with one shell, got a spritz with the bidet nozzle, scraped the dirty water off, got a rinse, and squeegeed dry.

I think they are buttons. Hit the first seashell and it washes your butt. Hit the second one, and it rinses your butt. And when you hit the third one, it dries your butt. What else could it be?

Under the first shell is a hose that sucks.
Under the second shell is a hose that sprays clean water in your bunghole
Under the third shell is a hose with dry air.

Easy. I have that at home!