Woman on toilet drops unexpected load

Hard, lumpy, pellety, runny -- we're never quite sure what kind of bundle we'll deliver into the porcelain receptacle when we unload our colons in the crapper. So imagine Colorado resident Selina Newman's shock when that bundle turned out to be not one of poop, but of joy. Instead of dropping a log after her bowels beckoned her to the bathroom, she produced a beautiful baby girl [1].

Three months premature, little Nevaeh ("Heaven" spelled backward) came into the world with a plop and a splash. Her amazed mama quickly called 911, telling the operator, "I was only six months pregnant and I went to the restroom and the baby is in the toilet."

The article goes on: "Littleton police officer Bob Carmody said when he arrived at the apartment, Newman told him the baby had been miscarried. ‘I looked in the toilet bowl and I could see movement, and the baby was enclosed in the sac and everything,' Carmody told Denver television stations. He pulled the baby out of the toilet with rubber gloves."

The police took the baby to the hospital, where -- none the worse for her wet arrival -- she will be cared for in the preemie unit until she has gained enough weight to go home.

[2]

Let this be a cautionary tale for all of us female Poop Reporters who are planning to bring children into the world. And maybe it's the perfect opportunity for an entrepreneur to come up with a baby-filtering screen that would keep an unexpected delivery from premature baptisms. This is one kind of toilet training we do not need for our precious newborns.