to download brown porn in my toxic lair.
Armed with my arsenal of twin-plied sheets,
my book of choice and a bag of boiled sweets,
I swiftly close the bathroom door,
arranging my wares upon the tiled floor.
With the birds duly tweeting their early dawn chorus;
It's April 23rd -- in the star sign of Taurus.
And so, in keeping with the sign of the bull
I prepare to unveil a fresh bowlful of stool.
The birdsong providing a peaceful setting,
I position myself t'avoid any rear-wetting.
But the short-lived serenity's soon to be broken
as I parp out a nugget -- a friendly poo token --
a precursor to the load I'm about to deliver:
a wad so foul it could make a corpse quiver.
So quickly I rummage for a Rhubarb and Custard
as my arse starts chewing on wholegrain mustard.
As I suck on my sweet to stifle the pain,
burning pellets spew downward like anal rain.
With chunks and dollops of sizzling brown fluid
worshipping the can like an ancient druid,
my squinted eyes are raised to the ceiling;
with this inner turmoil I'm close to screaming.
Bent as I am on enjoying my candy,
my colon alerts me that all is not dandy.
I'm doubled in pain as if shards of glass
were relentlessly shooting out from my torn arse.
I crunch down on my sweet to offset the sting,
distraught at the thought of my ruined poo ring.
The bright morning sun melts through th'window
alighting the room with its fiery glow.
A familiar stench envelopes the bog
engendered by this awesome, dirty brown log.
With a flurry of flushing and hopeful yanks
I conclude with a fart, then promptly give thanks.