Poop Shooter gets credit for this poll.

big brown wave

My favorite term is "fudge sludge" closely followed by "ass mass". Although when I'm leaving a room, I'll tell folks I've a science project to work on: Got to cook up something in the lav.

Mr. Bunghole, more refined than I, prefers an old stand-by "butt nugget".

Depends on size, texture and how creative I'm feeling when filling out my Turd Log. Examples: "Small/scratchy berries" "nuggets/pieces/chunks" "smooth pebbles"

poop. it's simple. it's silly. it gets the point across.
That's not to say that I don't get a laugh out of the other names people come up with. Poop is just the term I use the most.

Little Dumpster and I use the term "Mr. Brown."

In the verb sense, I say I'm going to go do a "Brown Study." In the noun sense I say "crap" because I've always thought that was a funny word. When cussing, I say "crap" instead of "shit."
r>_______
"Rectum hell, killed em' both." Author Unknown

And what do you say when you accidentally pound your thumb with a hammer, RD?

I like Poop or Shit. I'm a simple person.

Just think if this site was called something different. "Butt Fudge Report" or "Crap Report" or "Butt Nugget Report" just do not have the same ring as "Poop Report". Although there are very few poop terms I do not personally like.

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

Dumpster, I just took a poll, and I was told that normally I am overheard exclaiming, FUCK A MONKEY! when I hurt myself.

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"Rectum hell, killed em' both." Author Unknown

Usually I say crap, a number 2, unload, or pinch a loaf

Kids getting permission to leave the class.

"Number one" - Hold up one finger
"Number two" - Two fingers
Really desperate - Hold your crotch too.

Why do we ever have to tell the teacher what number? I never did get that.

What, are they taking a survey? God.

And Slim Jim, when are you going to get verified on the front page? You've been around for such a long time!

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969

I agree, why the heck did we have to say #1 or #2. I remember my neighbors when I was a kid. I would ask to use the bathroom and they would always ask if I had to go #1 or #2. If it was #2, they would tell me to go home. Basturds!

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

Agreed, I hate telling people I need to keep on my good side what I'm going to doo. Anyone else, screw it, they get my life story.

I usually say , in a verb sense, "Im going to take a dump/shit" When I use the noun, I say, "its crap" When I exclaim as I slam my balls in the car door, I say "Fucking Shit!"a

We really need to hear more about this slamming of balls in the car door, KOC.

When I read that, I imagined a saggy pair getting stuck in the door when closed. I think that's because you said you slammed them IN the door.
Then I realized you must have meant that they got slammed when opening the door. AB2K is right, KOC. You need to give more detail or simple minds like mine get confuzzled.

Hells Bells and Halls Balls. Nobody in their right mind really wants to hear about the Nutcracker Suite all performed in a Chevy Cavalier! You're encouraging the incorrigible, already.

When I was very small child, poop was referred to as "ickies", but used as a noun, not an adjective.

A gerund is when you use a noun as a verb by adding "ing".

What do you call it when you use an adjective as a noun?

(Besides "incorrect")

We just say "poop".

Ah, nuts. You're no fun. *wink*

darn. that last comment was directed toward Bunghole. You posted right before I could get that in, GGG.
Ah well.

"There was a young fellow from Boston,
Who traded his Dodge for an Austin.
There was room for his ass,
And a gallon of gas,
But his balls hung out and he lost 'em."

Dumpster, your ever so pooetic this morning.

I'm not sure I need to hear a story of getting balls slammed in a car door either. Kinda makes me cringe thinking about it.

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

There once was a young man from Wabash
Who blew his green wad for a blow-up lass
The lad was in bliss
‘til he heard a big hiss
With a groan and moan her ass was grass.

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"Odor in the court! The judge is eating beans--his wife is in the bathtub counting submarines." Author Unknown

With all the descriptives written on PoopReport these many years, perhaps a poll for the best named poop, best named stomach rumbling, etc. would provide debate fodder for weeks.

I'm partial to crap and its various affectionate nicknames - such crappachino, crapparamalamadingdong, The Big Crappola.

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PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

My old blow-up doll, Betty Lou,
Was my favorite object to screw.
Till one night, when I bit
Her inflatable tit,
With a fart, out the window she flew!

a good old standby:

Driving down the highway
Driving seventy-four
Dumpster blew a fart
And shot me out the door

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

Oh, Poop Shooter,
Oh don't you poop for me,
For I'm going to the bathroom
With my pants around my knee.

Dumpster Had a Little Turd
It's surface was flecked with Corn
Every where that Dumpster went
Another turd was born

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

Oh, he came from up in Michigan
His shit down to his knee
And now he wants to wave it 'round
For all PR's to see.

He strained all night to get one out
But still he came up dry.
His buns so hot, it takes your breath,
Poop Shooter don't you try!

Oh, Poop Shooter,
Oh won't you poop for me,
For I'm going to the bathroom
With my pants around my knee.

(Everybody, haul out your banjos, washboards, spoons, and jugs, and join in the chorus!)

Oh, Poop Shooter,
Oh won't you poop for me,
For we'll watch you in the bathroom
With your pants around your knee!

GGG writes, above, "What do you call it when you use an adjective as a noun?

Oh, Dear One! Dumpster loves good grammar better than good sex. The answer is an "adjectival noun." Read all about it, of course, on Wikipedia!

Gals, wit the build in-jugs, join me in a chorus of... "Oh, Poop Shooter, just please don't shit for me. For I cum from Alybammy with some callous on my knee."

Okay, that was a tad-bit trailer park, but I know the next chorus will be upbeat, on-tune and on a yacht-like setting.....

And the pig jig continues...

Where's 33.33 when you need 'em?

WOW, I feel REAL special having a song written about me. I'll be gloating all day!!

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

Poop Shooter,
The way I learned that ditty:

Driving down the highway
doin' 94
Someone laid a gasser
that knocked me out the door
The wheels couldn't take it
The engine blew apart
All because of [fill in name]'s
supersonic fart!

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PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

Pooper Gal: I Llliiike it! What's the tune?

You like those verses, Poop Shooter? 'Kay here's just one more:

Our Poop Shooter is charming fart
Mighty witty and adroit
Likes to tell us how he takes a shart
Just keep it in Detroit!

Chorus:
Oh, Poop Shooter
Dingle-berried butt attack
Keep on facing us and not away
‘Cause we don’t want no crack

I once was very lonley
All I had was my friend poop
We would laugh and play
Whilst sitting on the stoop

One day I asked myself
Poop Shooter buy why?
I play with this stinky glob,
Of poop next to my eye

I decided to put it away
Save it for another time
I washed up my paws that day
Then I heard a small whine

From inside a small box
Where the poop had been put
I heard a faint crying
So I went to take a look

There laid my piece of poop
Quite sad and bewildered
I just had to pick it up
And pet the little bastard

I knew what had to happen
My god he sure did stink
I'de flush my best friend
And wash my hands in the sink

Now Poop Shooter is all lonley
With nothing left to do
I'l eat some more beans today
Tomorrow I'll have more poo poo

Thank god tomorrow never comes
'cause I'm a strange odd sort
I still think about my friend the poop
And talk on Poop Report

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

PS, your metre is somewhat irregular (as befits a Poop Shooter, I presume), but one can sort of sing the above to the tune of "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean."

Is that what you had in mind?

Oh, one other thing: Did you remember to take your medicine today?

Poop Shooter! That rhyme was comical but it needs a title. And did you have a snappy tune to go along with the words?

My rythmic ability ends at making love. My musical ability stops at singing in the shower and occasionally playing the skin flute or kazoo.

So, sorry the "metre" was off. I thought a "metre" was like a yard or so, about 39"

My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean???? Was that by "The BEE GEES"??? if not, I've never heard of it.

Title It "MY POOP AND I"

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

PS, you are an utter Philistine.

Is that because I once drove through PHILadelphia? ...or had a PHILly steak sandwhich, or once heard the PHILharmonic on AM radio. Or is it because I once met Puxatony Phil the groundhog???

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

No, it is because you are smitten with the jawbone of an ass.

I'm not sure if this is nice or not? probably not

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Regional POWER POOPING CHAMPION 1988-2006
Poop Shooter!

TD writes: "[N]o, it is because you are smitten with the jawbone of an ass."

Truer words were never spoken...

I don't think it is. Be nice Dumpster. Not everyone is as poetry-oriented as you.

Judges 15:16: "And Samson said, With the jawbone of an ass, heaps upon heaps, with the jaw of an ass have I slain a thousand [Philistines]."

But I love PS--heaps upon heaps!

Poop Shooter is getting a beer and watching some porn to ponder his life and standings in the world of life.

I never heard Judges quoted before, and I was an altar boy. Maybe I just wasn't paying attention.

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See what's happening on The Dumpster Debacle
Poop Shooter!

PS is extracting his revenge.

Poop Shooter, I've had my Phil of bad puns!

Dumpster...thumb/hammer...Steve Allen?

I just started one in my head if someone wants to finish it. It goes something like this:
-------------
In 1814 I took a little shit,

And flushed it down the toilet to the mighty Mississip,

It had a little bacon and it had a little beans,

They held the turd together 'til it got to New Orleans.

Well...
--------

that' as far as I got.

===========================================
And the metre changes here:
============================================
Well ‘Big Easy’ dining t’will cause bloat and excesses,
Etouffe and crab gumbo make for BIG mudbug messes,
Nola’s ‘little shit’ grew exceedingly massive
Caught up in the pipeline with no further passage
===========================================
Tag, you're next

Lay down a mud snake

A big duke

Well, we fired our buns and the British kept a' comin...

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"Rectum hell, killed em' both." Author Unknown

A mud snakezs were laid down in the trenches of Nola.

The slough reeked of peanuts with Doc Pepper, not cola.

We cleared 'er in record, with swamp dredge devices

Shadowed mausoleums held up, diverting said crisis.

Impressive Bunghole!!! This site is beginging to turn me into some type or literary pooetic guru or something. My 11th grade English teacher Mrs. Barnes would be proud.

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See what's happening on The Dumpster Debacle
Poop Shooter!

Dumpster-- Thanks for the definition. I knew you'd come through for me. :)

I love to confound the teenagers with whom I work by using words that have too many letters for their little brains to absorb.

They just blink and say, "Wanna see my fake I.D.?"

I demand this thread get moved to the Pooetry section. *clap clap*

It's only right.

FP, a fellow rhymster, this one was a funny ad lib that turned into some fun silliness.

Daphne: You're going to be thirty something in a short while Happy birthday, my sister. Peace, harmony and universal awareness.

What Bunghole says ("Peace, harmony and universal awareness") forms the acronym PHUA.

So, PHUA on you, Daph. But, please, come join the party in your honor over on the forums.

Everybody else is welcome, too!

Had to go with poopoo. Since I've got a 3- and a 5-year-old, poopoo seems to be a habit with me. When I was a kid, we called it "going stinky".
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www.mydailypoop.com

I'm going to go with the word shit. What word do I use most when typing a comment, writing in the forums, or submitting a story. Shit!

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I was a category five! Category five, I tell you! Get it right or I'll be back to PROVE IT!!!!- Katrina

I refer to poop as poop, poo, or shit.
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It's not nice to fool mother nature.

Because my anal preoccupation stems from childhood events, all my preferred terms are "childish". My mum said "poo", my dad preferred "doodoo" (or variants thereof) - I used both but was mainly in the "doodoo" camp, which I amended to "dooey" thinking I'd made that word up (little did I know). I never heard the "s-word" (shit) until I was about eight - and it was taboo in our family so I've never really taken to it.

I like to say poop. It just sounds right. I even use it as a replacement expletive instead of crap. "Hey your car's on fire" "Well poop!" With the right intonation this can sound fairly amusing. This is probably not the norm, and I'm sure someone will criticize me for not wanting to say "shit". I'm a pretty conservative guy, and I also have a number of young relatives whom I would like to not be too bad an influence on.

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Recycle! Reduce! Reuse!
You can close the loop!
You can eat your poop!

I forgot a couple of childhood terms for defaecation - "doing your dirt" and variant "doing a dirty" - I remember being terribly embarrassed at primary school when this girl had been excused from class to go to the toilet and when she didn't come back after about five minutes someone got a laugh by saying "she's doing a dirty, I guess" - whereupon the teacher reprimanded her for using such language, saying "it's a normal bodily function!" and then informing the whole class that I'd been ill recently because of NOT doing a dirty! At least she didn't discuss my enemas...

I refer to the act for myself by saying I need to sit on the pot. As far as the substance of poop, I prefer the firm turds. Probably because I'm always hoping that that's what my next poop session is going to consist of.

apple sauce, is a good additive to poop

hmm....apparently i voted on this, but never commented. my favorite term for poop is "poop." in fact, it's my favorite word period. my love for that word is what brought me to this site in the first place, and what inspired my fascination with actual poop in general. in fact, i'd go so far as to say i probably wouldn't even care about actual poop if not for the word poop.

"poop" really is just the greatest word ever.
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i love poop.

yeah, but you ever try to say it backwards? pretty scary, huh? I think Paul really is dead.

i thought it was telling me to "do it."
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i love poop.

Then I think you should.

you want me to kill myself??

i thought we were friends!
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i love poop.

The verbular euphemisms I like include (not in any particular order)
Curl one off,
Snap one off,
Choke a darkie,
Back one out,
Reverse-park me lunch,
Grow a tail, and
Post a dark parcel.
The most common nounular ones are probably (again in no particular order)
Grogan,
Loaf,
Turd,
King Brown (an Australian snake),
Nugget (or the pretend French pronunciation 'nooszhay').

Wedgie wrote: "you want me to kill myself??

i thought we were friends!"
_____________________________________
We are honey, I had no idea what "it" was...no where does your post signify that "it" is doing yourself in...and if thats the case, then you certainly shouldn't do "it". At least not until you get me in the will. We are friends, after all.

Because I say pooh all the time, it must mean its my favorite. I had a bad pooh today from Wendy's chile that I ate at 9p last night. I thnk the intolerence to the diary was the propulsant. I didn't think I was going to make it there as the cramps were causing me to sweat and feel weak. My eyes automatically went into closing the eylids mode and I was driving! So I just kept breathing deep and kept my Starkiss at a semi relaxed state. No real poopreport to report except it was diarrhea and It burned my skin cheek to cheek. Oh, and I practiced a little tension and pain release toot while holding in the chile, baked potatoe and frostee rearranged with poop roux. Want to smell click here.

the smell link is broken.

Bilge, I think my finger is broken from clicking so hard.

My favorite term is laying some cable, but where I work we substitute the word shit for somebody's name.

Example: "I'll be back, I have to go take a Steve." (Or John, or Bill, or whatever the boss's name is.)

Hahaahahhahahahaha. Ahahahaha. Hahahahahahahhahaha.
hahahahahahhhahahaaha

Postman, we do that here too. I always go take a Dave. (Different Dave, no hatemail this time, please.)

I call it the squish lish.

"hanging a rat" is my favorite.