I had to go with the one that included the word "clean". "Nearby" is a good bet, too, but if I'm voting for BEST, I'd have to go with cleanliness!

See my site bio. My home commodes are one of the few dependable things in my life.

I'de take a close toilet over anything. I'm not shameless or anything, but when ya gotta go, anything toilet looking will do as long as it's not too defiled.

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Poop Shooter!

Nearby is best, unless it's a mess!

I had to go with option #4. There's a lot to be said for the home throne comfort with a tried and true flusher.

I really hate public toilets.

So what classifies as "too defiled" PS?

I voted option 2. My fat ass is uncomfortable on plastic toilet seats.

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Clean and private. And I hate those so called comfy padded things. Once when I was a child I sat on one with a crack in the plastic and it pinched me. Then I wondered what germs were living in that crack and never sat on another one. They aren't hygenic.

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"Rectum hell, killed em' both." Author Unknown

KOC, "too defiled" would be anything with bodily fluids on the seat or visible anywhere in the near vicinity.

Rat Droppings, I hate them cushy seats. They have a seam right on the inside edge that can be sharp against a mans member if not carfeul. I've hated them since I was little and slightly cut myself Lorrain Bobbit Style. Thank the pooniverse it was only a light scratch.

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Poop Shooter!

I've gotten pinched by a soft seat too. I like them when they are well-maintained though. My upstairs bathroom has one, it was there when we moved in, and it's not bad. There is a No Poop rule upstairs, though, so I don't enjoy it often.

How could you not change the toilet seat when you moved in. Public restrooms, yea, I can see it, but having a seat in your own home that others used for a long time is another.

Whenever I move which is not too often, I always change the toilet seats first thing. That preceeds getting the electric in my name.

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Poop Shooter!

PS, the upstairs had just been renovated by the previous owner before we moved in. (It used to be an attic, as our house is a Cape Cod, but it's much better as a giant master bedroom, or in our case, giant game room till we have kids and need it as our bedroom.) It still smelled of paint. Therefore, I assumed that the toilet seat had been relatively unused.

The other seat is plastic so a good scrub with bleach was OK for me. I'm not picky. I think that one was new too, anyway, because the toilet is blue and it is white. This is interesting to me. Is Poop Shooter overly clean, or am I a scuzzbucket?

Haha! I'm sure you're just fine, AB2K! But all this talk about changing toilet seats reminds me of something Will and I did when we put the house we're in now on the market recently.

We noticed that one of the toilet seats had two worn spots where the enamel had just disappeared. It looked like two little bits of dried poop. We knew they weren't, but we were also positive that people being shown through the house would take one look and go, "Ewww!"

So we went to Home Depot, bought two new toilet seats (we decided to change both of them out) and didn't have to worry about a case of mess-taken identity during the house showings.

BTW, the house sold within three weeks.

TBW, How long before your new home will be inhabitable? Did you put in the urinal, after all? And I'm really into just relaxing in my own bathroom so this is a total curiosity question: What toilet did you choose and did you pipe music into the bathroom?

Poop Shooter is not overly clean. Probably closer to scuzbucket. I just don't like used toilet seats in my own home.

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See what's happening on The Dumpster Debacle
Poop Shooter!

I now know what my next poopreport could be.
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.....hugging bunnies since 1969

AB2K, I'm sending you a black light to look at your toilet seat with. Urine shows up under black light. Then I think you will get that comfy seat the hell outta there.
PoopShooter, one of my childhood friends had a heavy toilet seat crash down on his 5 year old member as he stood to pee like "Daddy." Damn those heavy shag carpeted toilet tank covers!!
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"Rectum hell, killed em' both." Author Unknown

Lucky fo him he was only 5. I've had that happen at 25, and there is a LOT more to smash down upon in adulthood too. I almost decided right then and there to start sitting to pee, but decided that was for wussies (no offence all you men sitter-pissers).

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See what's happening on The Dumpster Debacle
Poop Shooter!

PS you must be short to be standing and have your wang resting on the front of the bowl to get smashed. Or....wait...really really well endowed and of average height. Hmmm...get back to me privately if it is the latter.

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"Rectum hell, killed em' both." Author Unknown

Oh man, industrial all the way. I hate panicking after I deuce in a home toilet that it'll clog because it can't handle my biomatter. The commercial toilets just sucks anything away. I bet they could suck a couple of small animals down, if some perv wanted to do that. (I'm just using this as an example of the toilet's mighty power, not as a suggestion to do so; don't worry, I'm a vegetarian. :))

oops! *suck

I wish there was an "Other" selection.. After DungDaddy's misfortune I want any toilet that is fireproof.

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

I want an industrial strength toilet with a small bowl and tight seam around the the seat. That way, if I'm constipated, I can just sit, flush and have that sucker pull the crap right out of my butt.

All kidding aside... a toilet that can handle what you put into it is the best toilet.

*****

Clean toilet (and supplies): $4 and elbow grease

Padded toilet seat: $12

Having a toilet that can flush 1 1/2 foot turds 4" in diameter like they're pee: Priceless.

Where in the hell can you get a clean toilet for $4?

a toilet brush, toilet bowl cleaner and elbow grease, AB.

Ohhhh . . . I thought you meant a whole new toilet. Durrrrrrrrrr.

It breaks my heart when Herself makes the occasional mistake.

Hehehe.
Brain farts happen.

When it comes to pooping, I'm not picky. I'm also not regular, so I've learned to appreciate the really important dump details.

Bunghole in the...the new house isn't ready yet. Three more weeks, it looks like. We're still waiting on the metal roof to arrive from California before sheetrocking, flooring, painting and appliances can be added.

The workmen will install the urinal when the time comes, but we are definitely going ahead with having the 'trio' right next to each other in the master bath--toilet, bidet and urinal.

Rest assured, I will put together a complete article with pics within the next few weeks.

Rat Droppings: You must not have been here when I was telling how I used to teach John Holmes before he got starring roles in the Adult film industry. If I wasn't lazy I'de find the link for you.

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See what's happening on The Dumpster Debacle
Poop Shooter!

PS, I talked to your high school geometry teacher today. I believe she told me her name was "Sister Mary Lorena Bobbitt." Anyway, she said, "that boy always did tend to overestimate lengths."

Howdy ya'll!

I like them clean and private because I can go days without crapping... when I do I relish it.

Besides those padded ones always get nasty after a while. All you need is one little knick in it and all that nasty stuff gets in there and starts to ferment.

My 2 cents~

A Country Girl

PS... hey Dumpster... I thought talking about anything religion related was on the shit list here at the Poop Report? Oh I see, as long as there is a shitty spin on it it's Ass H O K!

Dumpster, I did go to Catholic High School, and my geometry teacher was a sister. I always wondered why I flunked that class.

Thanks for clearing that up for me big guy!!

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Poop Shooter!

Poop Shooter: was your teacher Sister Mary Dictatoria or Sister Mary Rapknuckles?

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I am a Human Espresso Machine

Oops i am retarded and drunk but, padded is the way to go. sometimes i just sit on it so i ccan scracth my ass
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I am a Human Espresso Machine

I voted for clean and private, and no low flow.
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Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

Other things being equal, my favorite toilets are definitely the ones that work on compressed air. I'll never forget my first encounter with one of these. It was on a cruise ship. I had just gotten to our room, and was in a pretty foul mood because the airline had lost the vast majority of my luggage. Anyway, I had just finished pooping and flushed the toilet only to hear nothing more than a small clicking sound. So then I was even in a worse mood upset not only about my clothes but about the faulty commode full of turds. Then as I was drying my hands, the toilet made a noise that sounded like a small explosion, accompanied by a huge gust of wind that made the towels sway back and forth on the rack. It scared me so bad, I had to sit back down and poop some more. I told my girlfriend that they should put a sign in the bathroom that says "If bothered by constipation, please flush in advance."

I love those Japanese washlets that was your butt for you! They are amazing! European bidets are cold, but washlets are genius!

This is easy. The one at home, with the soft seat and good lighting. Now if I can just get the rest of the family to quit pounding on the door when I'm in there, I'd be perfect.

Don't have that problem Postman. They're usually pounding down the door to the front yard.

Clean and private.