Okay, so a bit of background is needed on this poll. There is also a discussion going on about this in the forums. Some poopers get muscle cramps in their asses, and it seems to be skewed toward the female poopers, hence the options for gender in the poll. The male poopers seem to get these as well, but only when misplacing their garden tools in their buttcracks after a hard day's work.

Personally, I'm female, and have never gotten one. Or at least I don't think I have. I get painful muscle spasms around my eye but never in my ass.

I've KNOWN a few Ass Cramps in my day, but the only time I've ever actually had them was when I would just get desperate to stop the runs and take too much Imodium. That really does give one the feeling that one has misplaced one's garden tool in one's buttcrack.

Interesting poll.

Do you mean muscle cramps in the butt-cheeks? I've had that before.

Ok, I just read the forum and we weren't on the same page. I've never had a cramp IN the ass but I have in the ass-cheek.

I've gotten the same sort of weird phantom pain, just like discussed in the forums. Not often, but the description sounds familiar. I think it has to do with the level of exercise that day: either too much or too little. I'm not sure; I'll have to wait and see if it ever happens again.

For the record, I am female. :)

_This cramp is not in the butt cheeks but directly in the sphincter muscle. When I've gotten it, it was usually after some straining to poop.______
"Better living through Pooping"

I get pains in my head similar to a migraine from pushing REALLY hard. But I often get the gas and bloating that comes from eating bad food. You know, the type that happens in your intestine/stomach, not the type that you can push out in a fart. So I haven't voted yet until I get some more info.

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Thank you Assblaster for posting this. It seems that many male peoples get ass cramps, so the menstrual concept is out.

But, at least I know that it's a phenomenon that others have expoorienced now.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969

I've gotten them...during my period when I've had really bad cramps. I don't know if it's related to bad cramps & tampon use or just straining too much on the toilet. Tho, they seem to get better when I dont use a tampon.

I have gotten these as well and I am a healthy 29 year old male. It seems to help when I urinate...for some reason the pain seems to go away.

Shooting pain in the rectum is known in the medical field as "Proctalgia Fugax", or "Levator Ani Syndrome".

This pain in the ass affects an estimated 8-18% of the world population, but tends to occur more often in women than in men.

It is believed to be caused by a spasm of the anal sphincter, or the pelvic floor muscles. Low-fiber diets and high caffeine intake seem to be the prevalent causes for the occurrence of these spasms.

While annoying and painful, these spasms are harmless and do not indicate disease.

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Always looking out for number two!

I took a humongous shit a couple weeks back. It was huge, rock solid, lumpy, and PAINFUL to push out. Afterwards there was an achy crampy kind of feeling in my butt. I felt traumatized by my own shit.

I used to have the worst ass cramp pains, they would travel down from my belly. I think my colon and spincter were convulsing..it used to happen when I was in school and wouldnt eat all day. Not sure why it happens.

thanks Motherload, I've always wondered what it was called. Found some more info at wikipedia and from googling. I think caffeine could be a cause for me, as I tend to drink some strong coffee in the morning to get a bowl movement and occassionally get the proctalgia. the wiki entry also suggests an increased likelihood of proctalgia if you have sex after a movement and my experience corroborates that also.

I've had a few of these, but not often. I've noticed that they occur more when I have my period than any other time. Usually my asshole cramps up and I am unable to pass a stool. Or it's diarrhea and it comes out VERY painfully.

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"That was a very disappointing party. I showed up and everyone left!"- Camille

Wait . . . anyone notice how more MEN than WOMEN have gotten ass cramps? We are MEN goddamnit!!! We're not supposed to get cramps period (get it get it?)

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Motherload has it right. Proctalgia Fugax is latin for "fleeting rectal pain". It's just a cramp in the sphincter; no known cause, no cure, not a disease. Just a pain in the ass. Often happens at night, and I get it in waves; I'll go for months with no prob, then get it like four nights in a row. Some suspect that it happens more during times of high emotional stress. Warm baths are supposed to help, as long as it's still going on by the time the tub gets full. Massage or pressure might help, too. I'm wondering if a little extra potassium in the diet would alleviate the cramping...?

Thanks ML. I have had the ass cramps.

I usually get them after a long bout of constipation, or a few hours after a very large poo.
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A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

I always called them sphincter cramps

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always curtesy flush .... i mean always

this poll has saved my life! i've been having ass cramps for a year now...i lost my job, my wife, my kids won't talk to me...now i know its not just a stigma. thank you poop report!

Yeah I was wondering about those. I hope my account can help some of you fellow sufferers... Here goes....

I'm male. I get these once in a blue moon. I seem to remember that it's usually after a poop early in the morning. It seems to be around the anus area--more like inside.

It's like an unbelievably painful cramp. Maybe 10 on a pain scale. Like pure torture--hehehe like someone said like misplacing some garden tool.

It can last for too damn long--seriously like maybe 30 min. I believe that if I go into the bathtub and dip my butt in warm water and massage my anus it gets much better and resolves soon after. I tried that the last time--I think I just suffered through it the previous times.

The thing is that it so rarely happens that I don't remember exactly how long it took to dissapear--maybe I fell asleep with it and when I woke it was gone.

I always figured it was like a phantom pain from some muscle spasm or a damaged nerve, and since it's so rare I never worried about it. BTW, Many years ago I had an acute hemmoraged hemorroid and ran to a laser treatment where the whole vein was pulled out. (I remember the dr. showed me the vein after he pulled it out--it was like 10 inches long!!! Yikes!) So I thought maybe it was a sort of "memory pain" of the surgery. But now I see it's not only me...

But the main thing about it is that it really helped me understand the phrase "pain in the ass." I guess that's how that phrase originated. When I was little my evil cousin liked to kick me in the ass and while it would be hard to recall the nature of that pain I somehow suspect it's similar...

Interesting stuff--finally we can all discuss pains in the ass on the internet--when was that ever possible? Well at least that solves one pain in the ass...

Wow - I know people talk shit in forums but this one takes the biscuit!
Seriously, quite helpful tho.
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE!!! And now I am free to discuss my pain in the ass with strangers - huzzah!
Ok, so I only ever get then when I am on my rag (although I think this ground has been covered). If I need a poo or even just an innocent little parp, it starts in my stomach as a sort of gurgling, then goes into my abdomin - akin to period cramps then I get a shooting pain RIGHT up my ass - enough for me to cry out in pain. Then I have the most painful poo/fart imaginable.
Not a nice experience I wouldn't recommend it!
So all you people have it - does anyone have a CURE??!!

I'm female and i've had an ass cramp so bad that i fainted!

WOW! As many have said, "I thought I was the only one!" I'm male and have been having this problem for a few years now. It's only occasional and seems to follow some sort of stress or dehydration? Mine tend to hit me in the middle of the night. Shortly after it hits you'll find me sitting on a heating pad, taking an asprine and drinking a large glass of cold water. Within 15 or 20 minutes I'm back in bed sound asleep. Thanks for posting the information here and I'm glad to find that its nothing serious!

My experience is exactly what asphinctersayswhat describes. Shooting pain up the rectum ONLY during menstruation. That's why I was so convinced it had to do with female hormones or something. Alas I could find nothing on google.

I've had these ass cramps the last few months and sat down tonight to look up what is causing them. I am so glad I can to this site. ML helped out a lot. Whenever I get one, it is when I am laying on my side. It is this horrendous pain in my sphincter and I go to the toilet to sit down. As I am there, my heart rate slows down without even pushing and I have almost passed out a few times. I am in the medical field and know that the vagus nerve is present in the anus and rectum and that is the cause of the slow HR and passing out. I just want to know what people do to get rid of the pain. I have had 2 kids and I would have to say that I rate labor a 10/10 for pain. This rectal pain is a 7 or 8/10.

HOLY SHIT this is the absolute worst, most painful thing in the book! I don't get them often but when they strike (mostly waking me from my slumber) I am rendered completely helpless in the fetal position for at least 20 minutes. It feels like somebody is literally stabbing you in the ass and twisting the gigantic knife at the same time. My girlfriend also gets these and has some very weak nitroglycerin ointment to relieve them (relaxes the ol sphincter). A generous schmear of that stuff and it's back to bed. We thought we were the only ones....haha! Should've known better than that! :D

Me and my missus also get them, in fact only today we had one each, within a few seconds of each other, while out walking. Needless to say it brought a few funny looks from passersby. I've suffered with this for years, so much so, I'm afraid to say I secretly enjoy them. ;-)

I get those cramps too. They usually strike while I'm asleep or running on my treadmill. Today I got one while just watching TV. YIKES!! Getting one while awake but sedentary is very rare for me. Long term treatment?,...potassium, LOTS OF IT!! Bananas and citrus fruits are good sources. They will reduce the severity and frequency, but not eliminate them. Short term cure once you've got one?,...lay on your side and pull on ONE asscheek, not both. Also, lay on your stomach and let gravity take the pressure off a little bit. If you're in a place where you must remain standing, try squeezing your butt cheeks together (without touching them) just use your glute muscles. These won't make it go away, but should bring the pain down from "excruciating" to "manageable."

I am a middle-aged woman and have suffered from these for years (mostly in the middle of the night). My solution has been to take a Tylenol or similar OTC pain reliever immediately and just keep walking around until the pain subsides. I have found that taking a pain reliever definitely shortens the length of the episodes to 10 minutes from the usual 15-20. My father also suffered from these and he died from colon cancer. While there is no correlation between proctalgia fugax and colon cancer, get those annual exams just to be sure. If you think these cramps are painful I am sure he would have told you that colon cancer pain is five times worse and doesn't go away. Don't go there!

I've had to plump for "what the hell is an ass cramp?" I've had shooting pains up the arse, is this what an arse cramp is? I've had them so severe that I've cried out in pain. It's sort of like someone shoving a screwdriver up your behind and sort of moving it around up there. Very very painful.

uh...Crunchy? You've actually had a screwdriver rammed up yer bum and stirred a bit? Otherwise, I don't think you can really use that analogy, interesting as it may be.

Yes, I'm just being a wise ass...thats my job.

well i think this is really helpful.
I thought it was collan cancer or something.
I'm going to a doctor but it helps to no that there are other likely possibilities.
I have had pain around the anus on either side on different occassions. it feels as if i'm holding up a shit but it pains like i got kicked with a steel toe shoe. It may be because my dyet contains a cup of coffie in the morning for the last 15 days or so as ML surgessted. It doesn't really pain all of the time since i got it about 4 days ago but in the mornig while i urinate or just stand up the pain intensifies so much that i hold my but checks and suddenly stand straight as if i had just been shocked. Keep in mind the pain is around my anus, but i won't hold my anus so insted i squeeze my checks. the intense pains end in like 2 seconds but the ongoing light unnoticeable pain hasn't ended yet this is day 5.
When i return from the doctor i'll give ya'll the diagnoses, the cure/help for the pain and the reasons. shiting seems to help.

I just took a shit and piss and when i pissed it seemed to move from somewhere close to my anus hole between my anus hole and my back to somewhere between my balls and my anus hole, about evenly distributed in that area. I dont feel it but for a beter discription, before now it felt like something i could shit out so i thought it might even be a worm.

I am a middle-aged (~ 50) man and have suffered from these for years, mostly in the middle of the night, while some did occur during the day. Intensity does vary and have been strong enough to make me pass out a few times, including the first time when I was about 25 yrs old. Over that period of time, frequency did vary a lot; sometimes years could pass without getting any, but there have been months during which I could have a few each months.

What does surprise me the most is that this is a known medical problem. Over the last 20-25 years the problem was disturbing enough for me to ask a few doctors, and none of them ever provide any clue on what this could be. Finding from this website that what I have suffered from for many years is a known medical problem ("Proctalgia Fugax" or "Levator Ani Syndrome") which does not seem to be that rare was good news to me. While there does not seem to be any cure/solution for it, I know understand I don’t need to worry much about it.

Thanks a lot for providing an answer to a question that has been bothering me for years.

I get these. The first time I got them I thought I needed a poop. I sat on the loo (and was straining so hard) I did not breath properly and blacked out for a few seconds - this is a true story. Now I know what it is I try and massage the sphincter with a finger if I can - but usually you just have to wait the pain out. It's good to read I am not the only one.

thank god for all ya'll.. i'm a 53 year old male and was awakened with one of these last night..with me it started as a pain in the inetestines and moved down until it reached my anus . i was half asleep until my anus started twitching and cramping and the pain was intense enough where i was moaning loud enough to awaken my partner. the thing was i was in so much pain i couldn't bear to be touched or comforted. i couldn't even move for about five minutes.. it was like a leg cramp but in my asshole.. when i finally could get up to go to the bathroom.. i let out a huge buttclapping fart on the way.. but once i sat on the pot and let go a dump the pain subsided and i was able to go back to sleep. i was pretty worried until i found this site after googling anus cramp.. and i'm glad i did.. i will speak to my doctor just in case.. oh.. and i too had a triple shot espesso earlier after not drinking coffee for a few weeks..coffee ( and dehydration ) seems to be a common factor in what i've found about this on the innernet

I get these all the time while on my period. They are absolutely awful and i thought i had something wrong with me! They are so bad that sometimes i can't even take a dump for the first few days of my period! Every time i try the shooting pain comes and my muscles clamp up so nothing can come out. It also happens when i pass gas but atleast i am able to do that. The past two days have been the worst of these i have had and thats what made me look it up. and since i can't take a dump because of them, it makes my stomach hurt because i feel like im holding back. these suck!

Thanks everyone, I also thought I had something more serious to worry about. It feels like what I can only imagine menstrual cramping feels like(I don't envy you ladies). In the past it has only happened after slight constipation or firmer than normal stool but last night I woke up with a miserable pain that seemed to last hours. No poop, just pain. I just started drinking coffee again and I have felt less than hydrated the last few days, maybe I'll lay off the bean again. Thanks again.

I have had some pains in bladder, groin, stomach etc. doctor suggested I go off caffeine as it could be irritable bowel. So I did for a month. Went on decaf for one cup, had those ass pains in middle of night. Went off it for another week, today I tried 1/2 decaf, then had a big dump that had to be forced out. 1/2 an hour later, those shooting pains up the butt. Could be caffeine/irritation related? Anyone have these pains not on caffeine?

yeah all sounds very familiar. hate going to work while im on my period because i am literally clawing the walls in agony.

I get serious spasms up my butthole. They happen suddenly, and don't last long. The pain is so severe it spasms me up off my feet and contorts my body involuntarily. It happens 2 to 5 times a year, lasts about 10-20 seconds, and does not travel in packs. I've never passed out, but I look like I'm having an ass seizure.

I get them at Lowes while shopping. Of course I'm at the front of the store and the crapper is in the rear, no pun intended. When I do get to the John it's like a train runnin' out my butthole, I get cramps if I try to stop. I'm laughing, the guy in the next stall is laughing. FunFact- I am currently taking Bentonite Clay and Psyllum Husk shakes to clean out the backside, works so good it demolished my golf game a herendous dump on the 16th hole, could not concentrate afterwards. Peace

i experience the pain in my rectal inside and i think it is my muscle. I suffer this pain this year it happens everytime i got i period and i want to poop. Is it because of my period? Sometimes i get abdominal pain too. Is there anybody knows what is this?

This has been bothering me for a couple years now. I'm a 36 year old male. For a while I had severe constipation which caused some pretty angry hemorrhoids. I'm pretty sure my constant vodka fix helped contribute to the constipation, which introduced me to proctalgia fugax. I've cut way back on the drinking and have been taking fiber supplements. It has definitely helped and I highly recommend getting lots of fiber in your diet, but sometimes when I take a crap or after I have sex, I still experience the "migraine in the ass." It makes my whole body cringe in pain. It can last anywhere from a few minutes to a couple hours. The first few times it happened to me I was on the toilet and I almost passed out from the pain after moving a bowel. I had to lay down on the bathroom floor for a while. I've seen 5 or 6 doctors about it and the only conclusion is proctalgia fugax - supposedly there's not much we can do to prevent it. Now when it happens, I take acetaminophen and diazepam (muscle relaxer). Right now I'm sitting on a bag of ice - something a doctor recommended a couple years ago but I never tried. Feels pretty good ;-) He also said if ice makes it worse, try something warm instead. 'Spose this will be my method until I can find some ancient Taoist exercises to prevent it...

I had butt cramps for several years. I just had a colonoscopy just because it was time (I'm 55). I ended up with emergency colon surgery and a major colon resection. No cancer -- but still scary. Butt cramps mean something. Be careful and look into what it could be.

I don't know what I did in my past life to deserve this hellish Fugax. Probably during Spanish Inquisition I was sticking hot metal rods in innocent people's asses. First 2 times I got it - I fainted. No I am used to pain and just suffer through it, but arting usually helps.

P.S. I never drink coffee.

Wow. I'm glad that I read this. I get these too, usually at night while sleeping but occasionally during waking hours, usually in the evening.

It feels like a huge hard, shapr mass is moving down the colon and won't make the bend in the rectum. Although the pain is along the rectum it's most severe at the area around the pelvis. For me, though, it's clearly not the sphincter, but farther up inside of me. And it is painful! Not passing out painful but doubled-up, moaning painful.

When this happens, it's usually lasts for 30 minutes to 2 hours. Pacing helps. Surprisingly, crapping helps as well. I haven't tried pain relievers, warm baths or massages.

I've talked to the doctor about this and his reaction was pretty much that it happens and there isn't much you can do about it.

I'm saddened that other people experience this, but I'm also glad to find out that I'm not the only one.
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

let me join the chorus... I thought I was the only one!! When I'm on my period - and ONLY when I'm on my period - I get shooting pains in my butt. Sort of like normal menstrual cramps but lower. Much lower. My asshole literally spasms. It lasts less than a minute but is incredibly painful.

I'm 50 now and have had them since my 20s. Intense cramp in the sphincter which wakes me up at night. I've never got one during the day. They're unpredictable, happens not very often but several times a year and I can go for months without one. No link with coffee. The pain gets eased by pushing my buttocks close togerher and sitting on a hard surface eg a worktop. I agree these cramps are harmless, but boy do they hurt.

So glad to hear other females have this problem I'm 30 years old and have had painful bowel movements, ONLY WHEN ON PERIOD, for about 10 years. It is the most excruciating pain I have ever felt (that said, I've never given birth or broken a bone). It can happen at any time of the day or night. I can feel a bowel movement coming up to 6 hours before it actually comes out. All during those hours I feel waves of rolling pain..stuff moving inside I presume. Sometimes when it finally comes out it hurts so bad I feel paralyzed and wonder if I might die. Today, (am on period)I have been having shooting pains up my anus (sounds just like what people are describing here) about every 10 minutes ALL DAY LONG. This has happened before but never so consistently throughout the day. In addition, if I go running near the time I'm about to start my period, I end up curled up on the ground for about 30 minutes in agony. I get really embarrassed talking to the doctor/obgyn about this. A couple times I mentioned it in passing but they don't ever really give me any advice or answers. PLEASE...if someone has more factual information about the causes, cures...if this can be a sign of some other problem...please post so that I, and the others who suffer can hear them!! I have a retro-verted uterus and have had problems with cysts in the past. Don't know if they are related. I wonder if the other females with this have had similar issues??
Thanks!!

I am a female and I only get butt cramps when I am on my period. Several times I was forced not to poop when I was on my period because of the pain. I ended up getting constipated those times.

The cramps are so bad I can't even sit. I hate these cramps! I've only started getting them this year. I don't want to have to live with it for the rest of my life!! Please someone post medical information on this subject!

thanks!

I had like a cramp/spasm that I describe as following a toilet seat like perimeter around my butt, butt most intense in the lower, anal area in to the crotch. It has happened several times in the past year, almost always at night. It feels like a weakness and like I could drop to the floor if I were standing up. It lasts a few seconds to a couple of minutes and then subsides, much like a calf cramp or similar. I drink a lot of strong coffee, have had bowel difficulties, and I could improve my diet and hydration level. I am male, age 57. It is troubling butt I am glad that I have found this forum.

So glad I found this site. I've had 3 episodes of this "pain in the butt" so far. Last night being the third. After the second episode I talked to my doctor about this and he said he had never heard of anything like it so he scheduled me for an endoscopy and a colonoscopy which both came out fine. The first episode lasted about 30 minutes and I was at work then, it was awful. The second time it only lasted a minute or so, but enough to remind me of the pain and scare me. Then last night I got it while I was sleeping, it woke me up. I got some ibuprofin, took 3 of them, and within a few minutes the pain was completely gone. I avoid caffeine, don't get a period anymore and am pretty healthy. Couldn't figure out why I get this. Thanks for sharing your stories, I feel much better knowing that I don't have cancer or something awful because of this. I suppose the next time I get a cramp I'll just take the ibuprofin and wait it out.

I might be way off topic with this one, but some times when I have a really really big sneeze, I get this crazy cramping in my chode ( between my butthole and ballsack). It really tight feeling pain... I wonder how similar my chode cramp is to your butt cramp..

i have gotten butt carmps but only for a few second but not only while going to the bathroom or after but i get them sometimes while just siting in class or at home. I only have them when i am on my period i just recently had one not to long ago. Sometimes i dont even see it coming and it makes me jump out of my seat its so painful and uncomfortable to go threw! but when i take a pain killer for my abdomen cramps they seem to got away but them come back there so painful and they hert!!!!!!!!

Wow I can't believe I found this website, it is hilarious. But I have had ass cramps! I'm in high school, and EVERY time we have played soccer in gym, I've gotten one! Weird, huh?

Thank you so much for this page. I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. I only usually get them when I am on my period and they mostly happen when I am using a Tampon.

i wake up sometimes in the middle of the night with these - well, you could call them cramps but before i ran into this site i'd call them ass spasms, anal spasms, anus spasms, i guess sphincter spasms has the best ring to it. Anyway, I wake up in the middle of the night and it feels like a painful need to poo, but i can't poo, it's just my ass muscles spazzing up and i need to sit on the toilet and relax them. Sometimes I pass out on the toilet because I'm so tired. Anyone else experience this?

I woke up at about 4am with this exact problem today. This wasn't the first time I've had the pain so I decided to Google it and ended up here reading about Proctalgia Fugax. I'm a 27 year old male, I bicycle about 15 miles a day and never touch caffeine. I am under a fair amount of stress from school and work and rarely get adequate sleep. I would definitely link this to physical and mental stress. Anyway, when I experienced the excruciating pain I had only been asleep for two hours and had less than two before I had to wake up for the day; I needed to get back to sleep as soon as possible. Luckily, I also awoke with an erection...(According to my psychology textbook, most men get erections during REM sleep and thus, have one about 1/4 of the night) I also remember reading something about how the body releases natural pain relievers (endorphins) during an orgasm. So, I decided to give it a try. I grabbed a bottle of lotion and, while massaging the sphincter, I went to town with the other hand. Anyway the pain went away pretty much instantly and I was back to sleep within 5 minutes (I'm good at visualizing so it doesn't take long...) I'm sorry if this sounds somewhat vulgar, but hey, I can do this, it's my own butt...right? Besides, the info might just help someone else willing to do whatever it takes to stop the pain quickly. Anyway, I know exactly what I'm going to do next time. I'll let you know how it turns out. Until then...peace!

I've actually been having this problem ever since i was a child (I'm 21 now), and it usually happens when I have to crap, but I'm not close to a bathroom, so my body pushes the shit back up, and then cramps for some reason.

It is such an intensely sharp and excruciating pain, but the solution, my whole life has been to get to the bathroom as quick as i can and take a dump, and that has had a 100% sucess rate; that is why I am positive that there is no other cause to the problem; at least for my self.

In fact, I have had so many ass cramps, I can actually predict when an ass cramp is coming. For example this morning in my bed, when I woke up, I could feel a potential ass cramp.

What I typically try to do in such a scenario, is to not allow the crap to get sucked back up, and just hold it more towards the anus.

Unfortunately this morning I wasn't able to stop the ass cramp. My body just sucked it up on its own.

Right before the ass cramp happened; I got up real quick cuz I knew I would need to get to the bathroom, and right there in the middle of my bedroom my ass cramped.

This was litterally the most excruciating ass cramp I ever had, and perhaps the longest lasting. It lasted so long that I got light-headed, and almost fainted. My stomache started hurting and I had to lay back down on the bed. As soon as that finished, I made my way to the bathroom and took a massive dump.

I think that this problem is caused by too much dense shit being concentrated in the rectum, expanding/pushes against the walls and causing a very sharp pain to occur.

For all those ass crampers out there, I know what you feel, just hang tight, and get to a toilette quick!

I've actually been having this problem ever since I was a child (I'm 21 now). It usually happens when I have to crap but I'm not close to a bathroom; so my body pushes the shit back up and then cramps for some reason.

It is such an intensely sharp and excruciating pain, but the solution, my whole life has been to get to the bathroom as quick as i can and take a dump, and that has had a 100% success rate; that is why I am positive that there is no other cause to the problem; at least for my self.

In fact, I have had so many ass cramps; I can actually predict when an ass cramp is coming. For example this morning in my bed, when I woke up, I could feel a potential ass cramp.

What I typically try to do in such a scenario is to not allow the crap to get sucked back up, and just hold it more towards the anus.

Unfortunately this morning I wasn't able to stop the ass cramp. My body just sucked it up on its own.

Right before the ass cramp happened; I got up real quick because I knew I would need to get to the bathroom and right there in the middle of my bedroom my ass cramped.

This was literally the most excruciating ass cramp I ever had, and perhaps the longest lasting. It lasted so long that I got light-headed, and almost fainted. My stomach started hurting and I had to lie back down on the bed. As soon as that finished, I made my way to the bathroom and took a massive dump.

I think that this problem is caused by too much dense shit being concentrated in the rectum, expanding/pushing against the rectal walls and causing a very sharp pain to occur.

For all those ass crampers out there, I know what you feel, just hang tight, and get to a toilette quick!

Wow... Thank God I'm not the only one. I'm a 25 years old female and I've had this excruciating cramp for about 6 years now.. it only happens DURING menstruation, I went to a pretty famous doctor once and even he couldn't really explain what was wrong, and that was after he shoved his fingers up my butt to check whether I had some abscess/boils in my ass (if this might help, he said he had a woman patient who experienced similar pains and that was because she had some abscess in her ass) and since that wasn't my case, he then said I shouldn't worry because the pain is normal and it's just muscle contraction and the pain should go away after labor. But from what I read here, it seems even women with children are still experiencing it. Gee.. I wonder if this pain will be life long or will it go away after regular exercise, maybe? BTW this is a very unique site LOL.

does anyone else get sharp butthole pains that you know is due to too much caffeine?I've gotten them occasionally for years now.ITs sharp horrible pains for about 5-10 minutes.and its definately when I've had a lot of caffeine..anyone else?

Anonymous Coward above, correlation does not imply causation. Perhaps your sharp butthole pains are caused by something entirely different than your caffeine consumption.

For example, do you like to unwind with a hot cup of coffee after a marathon buttsex session?

That might explain it.

Yes, it feels like someone has shoved a broomstick up your ass. Always relieved by crapping.

I just found this site after a terrible sharp cramp I had in my bum-hole after I poo'd a big lumpy poo. I too, thought the pain was going to last so long that I would pass out. It is definately a 10 on the 1-10 scale. I do remember having these occasionally and they are usually after or during a huge constipated poo. I am a female and IBS runs in my family although mine is fairly mild. I do not ingest too much caffiene, only from the occassional diet pepsi and chocolate. I do tend to be an anxious and stressed out person but the bum cramps happen maybe once every 6 months. Thank you for the insight though and now I will jump into a hot bath instead of almost die on the toilet in pain. I am really sorry to all of you fellow ass-crampers, it is not fun. Kind of weird belonging to a "pain in the ass" club. Oh well, at least I'm not alone : )

Started Friday....Cant shit. When I do its very painful. Used some sepositories, worked a little little bit. Made my stool all liquid like. But a couple other things I notice is when I cough I can feel my anus tighten. It feels really tight and wont open for a poop release. I am hoping its an ass cramp that will go away so I can take anice huge dump...I hate shitting but I am for once wanting a big dump...I am also using Tucks medicated treatment on my anus..Spread it and it eases the pain....But I am sure I need to shit real bad...

Wow.. All these years and i thought me and my sister were freaks of nature.. FINALLY a name for these massive butt sucking pains... it all makes sense now!!! my sister just had a bout with them last night..thanks for all of you and your comments.. we had no idea what the pain was so we just coined the phrase "booty thunder".. hahahaha... good luck!!

Wow, thanks for the internet. Yeah, I'm a 50 year old male and I've been getting several a year for 10 years now. I thought they were somehow related to hemorrhoids, but I don't have any. They always happen while sleeping, and I don't use any caffeine. They wake me up and are very painful. Not exactly my anus, but a little further in. I treat it like a leg cramp and kind of walk it off. I will also sit on the corner of the couch or something to get some direct pressure. If I use these techniques early, I can usually get rid of them in 10-15 minutes, before they get too severe. I haven't let one get real severe in a couple of years.

im 21 yo female. I only get pain in the ass while pooping during my period. Esp when its time to push out the poop, it hurts like hell.. but i can always manage to do it in the end.

Listen folks, I'm a 53 yr old man that has had this problem for about 10 yrs. I took my questions to my doctor at the VA hospital only to find out that its as common as hemorids. My doc says that a nitro onitment cocktail is the only known medical remedy. But after tonite's episode I'm willing to try anything. So believe it or not I managed to get up off the floor and eat a banana and 600mg of motrin and I feel somewhat better. But I can tell you that what's help me in the past is to get on my knees and bend in a 90 degree angle, nothing short or long of this angle and take long steady breaths. This will usually subside the pain within a few minutes. It works really well if you can "sense" the onset before it gets too bad and start right away. But after getting caught off gaurd tonite and spending 30 minutes wishing for death I'm going to start looking for the nitro.

Grateful to all posters here, have been too embarrassed to go to the Doc's with this intermittent problem. But Oh Heavens, does it hurt when it happens! I find massaging one cheek helps, then trying to contract and relax the anus - sometimes that hurts more very suddenly and then eases, a bit like stretching for calf cramps! It has other similarities to calf cramps, particularly that you can feel the cramp building, and after it has gone off a little you can sometimes sense that it is still lurking around and could come back with one wrong movement or tensing of muscles... Good luck, fellow sufferers!

I too have this problem, usually after running or walking. I'm thinking I need to be more hydrated. However, I have found that squatting really helps to relieve the pressure.

Sounds like there's more than one variety of this going around. I suffer from "Proctalgia Fugax" from time to time, and I can't correlate it to caffeine or anything else I've thought of...happens to me about once a year, although I've had two episodes in the past three months. The thing that IS consistent for me is it is ALWAYS at night (waking me from my sleep), and although the first few times I was fooled into thinking I needed to defecate, I never could...it's your ass playing a trick on you. Now I take Advil immediately to reduce the pain and get the sphincter to relax. I also pace, but that might just be to distract myself. Mine usually last 15-30 minutes. I'm a healthy 45 year old male.

Yea I get these too...I was scared to even search the topic I thought I had cancer for sure, but I did it anyways and what a sigh of relief! Usually what happens to me is I eat a ton the night before and when I wake up in the morning and have my coffee, when i get that cramp I know a huge load is comin out!

I voted yes/male and decided to wait until I was in the middle of one. Right now the pain has subsided, but it was a severe tightening pain as if my brown cheerio was in a vise. I didnt eat anything out of the norm, and I dont have any medical problems I am aware of back there. Maybe I am just working too hard. Oh well I gotta get back to work, now where the hell did I leave that rake?

Okay ladies and gentlemen, we have two different problems (and possibly three) going on in this blog. One is proctalgia fugax which the pain lasts the shortest amount of time - few minutes to half an hour. The second is levator ani syndrome which the pain can last indefinitely. The third descriptions I am reading match irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and the key words I am hearing are cramping and bowel movement.I cannot address proctalgia fugax because I have never experienced it. But levator ani syndrome needs to be treated by an ob/gyn who specializes in chronic pelvic pain. There are several treatments available including trigger point injections, botox injections (yes, I did say botox), sitz baths and physical therapy consisting of myofascial release and biofeedback. In the meantime, stop doing Kegals or tighting the muscles - you are not helping, you are making it worse. Do the opposite - bulge out like you are about to have a bowel movement. If you have IBS, it needs to be treated by your primary care physician and there are a couple of good medicines out now for it. In the meantime, watch your diet for spicy foods (Italian), fried or red meat seems also seems to flair it. Additionally, eating smaller meals, eliminating pop and alcohol and adding Activa helped a lot. And ladies, anyone with levator ani syndrome should be watching for other symptoms because there is a higher incidence of fibromyalgia, interstitial cystitis and IBS in women with levator ani syndrome. Hugz to all of you in pain. There is help but it is not fast (can take months and months), nor is it easy. Get to ob/gyn and ask for Q-tip test. If doctor doesn't know what you are talking about, find an ob/gyn who does. And guys - you can get levator ani syndrome too - here's is a link for you: www.prostatitis.org/aheadacheinthepelvis.html

And p.s., some of the other letters struck me right away as diverticulosis and not enough fiber in diet. Try adding dried prunes or V8 fruit juices or one of the fiber supplements. Hard and/or crampy bowel movements are not normal, get thee to a doctor if at all possible, especially a gastroenterologist. Diverticulosis can develop into Diverticulitis and that is trouble. Please don't self-diagnose - please go to a physician.

I was looking for answers to my significant other's symptoms and found descriptions of my own as well.
Male symptoms: his sound like a lot of yours. He agreed with the person who said it felt like someone shoving a knife up your butt and twisting it. His pain lasts for anywhere from 1/2 hour to several hours. Much worse when lying down but better when sitting. He, too, has laid on the bathroom floor in sheer agony, nearly blacking out. He has tried jogging around in circles, massaging the area, but with varied results. It usually ends up being a waiting game. It's comforting to know others experience this as well and that there's actually a name to it, because he hates going to doctors. He rates it a 10 on the pain scale.

Female symptoms:
I've read many reports here of women experiencing excruciating pain during their period only. I have had pain that I describe as a knife stuck in my abdomen and then being twisted. But, this pain is localized deep in my abdomen, not in my anus. I cannot sit at all, and like soemone else described, it happens suddenly without warning and very intense practically making me leap out of my chair. I have experienced an increase in frequency and intensity the past several months during the latter days of my period and finally had enough and went to my dr. She said that there's a tendency for an increase in constipation at the onset of a period. For people with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (like me) this is even more pronounced. With my IBS, sudden pain is a constant companion, but this was pain to the nth degree during my period. She suggested trying a daily dose of this stuff I take on occasion for constipation (glycolax- Rx) for the full week before my period to keep my colon emptied out and moving. I haven't been able to try this yet due to IBS troubles, but I have high hopes. She said if this doesn't help, we'll do an ultrasound (from the inside) to check for endometriosis. A friend of mine had my same symptoms and she was diagnosed with endometriosis. I'm not saying all of us with these symptoms have it, but it could be any of a variety of things that you might want to ask your dr. about along with a list of all your symptoms, when you have them, and all those details. Like another woman who wrote in, she takes pain killers (ibuprofen in my case) for these types of sudden onset cramps during her period and it eases the pain, but they come back as soon as the meds wear off: sudden and intense. These are the ones that keep me walking around the building at work at a quick pace forcing people to walk with me who need to talk with me and I cannot sit or stand still due to the pain which causes dizziness, cold sweats, and the need to moan and groan. I rate my pain as a 10 for sure. I have never had children or broken a bone like someone else who wrote in, but I've had years of IBS pain and severe mentstrual cramps, so for what I'm used to, this one is a 10.

For the record, IBS symptoms are not always linked to certain foods.

Thanks for sharing your stories. I'm sorry we have this pain, but it helps to know we're not alone.

It was enlightening finding this site & discussion. A couple of months ago I woke up feeling a strong urge to poop. As soon as I sat down, I felt a sharp pain like someone had shoved a knife up my rear.

It became a spasm, easing off for a few moments, then coming on full force again. I ended up on the bathroom floor nearly passed out from the pain. Ultimately, I ended up in the emergency room diagnosed with diverticulitis and an abdominal abcess.

Even after nearly 3 weeks in the hospital, however, the doctors still couldn't explain the ass-pain that I'd experienced. This discussion, was the first I'd heard of a similar pain. Reading through some of your experiences I was thinking "That's it! That's exactly what I felt!" And looking back on my experience, I had been under a great deal of stress and home and work, was dehydrated, over-tired and had fallen into some really bad eating habits due to the stress.

Once I got into the hospital, the pain stopped once they got some fluids in me and I had a chance to finally move that poop out. Someone also mentioned a link with potassium . . . blood tests did show I was low on the potassium.

That was the most excruciating pain I can rememember experiencing and I'm sorry that so many people seem to be "sharing the pain." While my job may have literally become a pain in my ass, I guess I'm lucky that the pain itself did lead me to get a greater problem fixed. I'm doing much better now, but it has continued to bother me that the doctors couldn't explain the ass-cramp. At least now I have some ideas to follow-up on.

Thanks all! I'll definitely be visiting this site again.

I definitely know the pain.

I'm a 21 year old girl and had one of these lovely episodes last night which was made all the worse that I was camping with friends and so there were 10 of us sharing a room and I was trying to deal with my ass cramp without moving, moaning or drawing any attention to myself....not easy. Thankfully it went away after about 30 minutes and I could go back to sleep..

It's happened to me maybe 20 times in my life that I can remember and I have passed out from the pain on three seperate occasions. It's good to know that I'm definitely not the only one who suffers from these plus that they aren't serious. I was starting to get worried about that! What would we do without the internet drawing people together?

I'm a 36 yr old female. I started getting MAJOR arse pain (unbearable prolonged like anal spasms) a few years ago, and I've been suffering every month with it since. It only ever happens when I'm getting my period. It's major major pain, intense!!!! Like other people have described, it's like someone has all of a sudden jabbed a knife up my butt and is twisting it!!!!

The only way that I find any relieve from it is... 1. taking very strong pain killers regularly until symtoms subside (can be on-going for 2-3 days, once pain killers wear off... it's back)OR 2. Although very painful, if I can manage to get a bit of poop out, even the tiniest bit, it can help relieve the intensity of the pain for a little while.

Almost every period time I have to deal with this arse pain, it's not right!!!! But I like so many others feared something more sinister might be wrong with me, hence googling and finding this sight. I've put up with it for years, but done nothing about it. I'm suffering with it intensely right now, woke me out of my slumber moaning & groaning running straight for my trustee pain killers. I've tolerated this hoping it may just simply stop happening one day, BUT thought maybe this is a sign of something bad, rectal cancer or something plain scary, and I shouldn't just keep ignoring it all the time, wondering is this normal??. And it is comforting to know that I'm not alone in my arse pain suffering, it's not just me. Not that I'd wish it on anyone, but you know what I mean!!!!

I've always hated my periods, I've always had painful periods. But now I mostly hate them because I have to tolerate such intensely painful arsehole pain from 1 to 3 days along with it. It's excruciating... it hurts so bad!!!! And it troubles me the amount of pain killers I have to down during my period to cope with it.

So just for the record... I'm a 36 yo female, and I've been suffering with this for around 6 years now, I get major arse pain every month, along with my periods (never at any other time). I don't drink coffee at all, never have. But I suppose I drink a bit of coke (coca cola), maybe that's just as bad. A few years ago I was told I had Edometriosis. And a couple of years ago I had cysts on my ovaries (cure for cysts, put on the pill, not removed surgically) I don't know if the Endo & cysts mean anything in regards to the arse pain??? And I've never had children... not through lacking of wanting, went off the pill at 26 yo, no luck falling preg naturally.

Anyway, that's my story... and my sympathies go out to all out there suffering this terrible pain in the butt on a regular basis!!!!!

I am a 31 yr old male...I had to have a colos. bag about 2 yrs ago for a tear in my intest. then had a reversal surgery for the colos. bag...now every time I poop (out my butt) I get extreme pain there!!! the doct says it normal and could last for the rest of my life??? It sucks, but it much better to poop out my butt than out of my stomach!!! so be thankful to have a butt!

WoW this really hurts I'm 28 year old male and getting the pains right now and its painfull, I have been getting them for about 10 months and its probably happened about 8x in total but I go months without problem, I don't drink any caffeine or alcohol or very little, I drink lots of water (2L + a day) and eat lots of healthy food (fruit and veg) and not so much meats or fatty foods, I'd also say I get plenty of fiber. For me I'd say it was more related to stress or posture? About the same time I have been suffering from anxiety Which my doctor said has been caused by stress this is way I feel more its stress related, stress is a strange and complicated thing and causes all kinds of problems and makes sense that women get them when they are on their periods because that can cause stress. I'v also been and had a full health check at a privet hospital including: brain scan, 2 full blood tests, exrays and so on so I know I'v got no major health problems because the docs gave me a clean bill of health.

KOY

I went to the doctor and got some answers that may help you:
I have always had heavy painful periods, but in the last two years or so I have had weird period pain that is inside my rectum. It has gotten worse now so that I can hardly go to the toilet during my period because of the stabbing pain. It makes me freeze and I can't sit properly during the first few days of my period without pain.
After heaps of questions from the doctor, and a family history etc, the doctor said it's obvious I have endometriosis, especially since it's mostly around the time of my period. If you have it during the time of your period too, go to your doctor and get a referral to see a gyno and get real treatment. Calling it 'ass cramps' or something related to diet is not going to help you get better, sorry. Find out about endometriosis treatment.
Good luck.
Ally

Your doctor said it was obviously endometriosis without performing an in-depth pelvic exam and laparoscopy? I hope you just forgot to tell us that part.

Readers, if a doctor is to diagnose endometriosis, it can only be done successfully with a laparoscopy. The following link is to an article about proper diagnosis, Diagnosing Endometriosis.
_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

well i don't really know if the pain is the same that i am having. for some weird reason it hurts in the flat area between the balls and the butt hole and while looking down it swells up on the right. went to walmart asked the person in the pharmacy was there anything for that pain. reply was to take ibuprofen. if it does not help the pain then talk to the doctor for something stronger. i feel pain when i cough, laugh, put my legs together. or lift up my right leg while laying down and taking a dump pretty much while doing anything that will apply pressure to that area. massaging it doesn't help, it hurts even more. i notice this pain either after i took a dump or was it at the gym. so many things that i could say about this pain but just don't know how to explain everything in details. as of right now i am taking 4 tablets of Motrin IB every 8 hours and i still feel the pain. even when i try to sit down in a low car with bucket seats

I just had a major ass cramp during a good old crap. I have had them since I was little. The only thing that seems to help is as soon as you feel it coming to sit up straight, with your back against the toilet's water dispenser and stretching one or two arms above your head, I know it sounds crazy, but it really helps. Unfortunately it didn't help today, because I was too much into an article I was reading in a magazine. Damn those good magazines. My ass cramps only last for about a few minutes, but they hurt as hell though.

Since reading about this on the net i am at ease. I thought i was the only one, i am happy to know now that i am not alone with this problem and i can get back on with my life again. The only problem is it comes out from nowhere and in the most unpredictable places. lately there have been four or five at a time. I have tried massaging the area, taking a bath etc, that worked a little but not what i expected. Iv tried taking pain rrelief but didnt do anything.
Im more relieved about the fact that im not the only one and im not alone. Thankyou and god bless the internet!
i also sometimes get muscle spasms but not directly in the rectum, mainly on the ass cheek. its like somebody is poking me repeatedly. when i was having the pains in the ass, the only way to describe it was like a hot poker being shoved up my ass hole, red hot feeling so bad that it made me jump up.All i get now is the feeling as if my bum is falling off,well iv said enough. I just cant believe im not the only one. hey Iv been to the doctors, iv been in therapy iv even changed jobs because of this and now i know im not alone i think i might start to cry. thankyou.

Wow I am so relieved that this isn't a serious condition. I just had this in the middle of the night and I thought I was DYING. I've had them before but not half as bad as this. I had to look it up cos I thought it might be FATAl. Ok, I'm a student, just moved out of home, I'm not eating properly, also I guess I'm stressed. It's very hot where I've just moved, perhaps dehydration?

I just got one of these and actually thought I was dying. I had cell phone in-hand, getting ready to dial 911 but was too embarrassed.

Mine started at my anus while I was using the bathroom, then shot sharply down the first seven or eight inches of my penis. I jumped up and was hopping around for a few moments, very painful!

Joe.

i'm having a number of problems and taking all kinds of drugs along with changes in my diet - dr. subscribed... it started with increased gas to the point of explosive constant gas...along with constipation or irregular pooping cycles... i started noticing blood on my toilet paper and burning pain....then came the stabbing pain in my ass along with clumps of blood in my poop... doc said i don't have hemroids but could be a tear or fisher do to strain in pooping.... i've changed my diet eating more fibre etc taking all kinds of medicine to stop rectel bleeding and pain in my stomach... my stomach feels bloated and aches cramps and at times burns... but the major factor in all this is the extreme gas... my poop literally explodes out of my ass and hurts like hell and afterwards feels like someone is sticking a knife up my ass... this all started shortly after having lower back pain...herniated bulging disk. siatic nerve...unable to sit or pain sitting.... looked on the web and fear i have IBS.... having an upper gi next.

Haha these descriptions make me laugh. Like most of these people here, I felt like I was the only one..I am sitting here in my bed, on my damn cycle and getting these cramps every few hours. Sometimes it happens when I'm not on the rag, and when I am sitting on the loo, when this cramp begins, it feels as if I need to grab hold of something, and the nearest thing to me it the towel rack, I squeeze on to that soo hard, I think I'm going to break it. Anyway its a change of diet for me, Im 19, and have suffered these for a few years, pain rainting 10/10.
Theres only one way to describe this pain, forget screwdrivers and knives, and broomstick up your ass, it feels like, a thunderbolt.

Hahaha as Samuel L Jackson says...

Zeus: No, he didn't, he said "Hey, Zeus." My name is Zeus.

John McClane: Zeus?

Zeus: Yeah, Zeus. You know, Mount Olympus, father of Apollo, don't f*** with me or I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass, Zeus! You got a problem with that?

Thats how I'd describe the pain....
Guess I got to live with this then...

So glad I found this site. I've had a pain in my ass that comes on like a fire poker being jammed up my crack since I was about 16. It was funny the other day when I was walking with friends and suddenly mid conversation I just froze, had to pretend my back was hurting for about 30 seconds, then start walking again >_<

I find that if I get to the can and have a dump as quick as I can, it goes away, which is odd because leading up to it I have no feeling to actually poop.

I think I'm going to try pooping once a day even if I don't need to. Avoiding a build up might be the trick.

im 16 and I've experienced the same thing for about 2 years. It is really painful, like other people describe it as a knife stabbing our asshole and twisting thats the pain that i feel. It really sucks to have this pain b/c when i need to take a shit it hurts like hell. When it doesn't come out thats the worst. Like today, it happened and the pain was so gruesome i screamed. I hope no one heard me but imagine if i was at some else's house or at school? (well i don't do it at school). And also when I need to fart it happens but as soon as i fart the pain slowly goes away. I went to the doctor and she said that there's nothing i could do about it and that she's never heard of this kind of situation. Also when i sneeze it sometimes hurt. I remember this one time it hurt so badly that i had to crawl from the bathroom to my bed. I hate this. And worst of all im so scared of having endometriosis, irritable barrel syndrome, diverticulosis/diverticulitis or of being diagnosed of something like that. Im going to see if i can talk to another doctor b/c obviously there are other ppl. w/ the same problem. Thanks for sharing ur stories.

Same, it is a good idea to go to an ob/gyn who will give you a laparoscopy to check for endometriosis. That is what you need, a laparoscopy. Endometriosis causes scar tissue that can block you from having babies in the future, if you don't get treatment. Sorry you are hurting so bad. Does your mother know how painful it is? If she doesn't know, you need to tell her so she can help you get to a good doctor. I didn't get diagnosed with endometrioisis until I was 31. It was too late for me, butt its not too late for you to get dianosed and treated properly. Anytime there is severe pain and a doctor tells you its normal(or he/she never heard of your pain), and that you have to live with the pain, FIND ANOTHER DOCTOR. Don't give up because sometimes you have to go through a lot of them to find the right one.

I have had this pain many times over the years. Mostly at night when asleep. My doctor mentioned roctalgia Fugax. I'm a 43 year old male, Anyway, the pain is excruciating. to make it even more painful the rectal spasm gives you wood. Cruel joke, because the pain is so bad you feel like your dying. Will try poopie trick next time(grabbed a bottle of lotion)? pain in ass sucks

TekWiz:

I'm a 21 year old female and yours sound exactly like mine. They are deep in the rectum and happen once every so often. Literally I by the time the next one happens I probably won't be able to remember the last time. Anyway, it can be fleeting or seemingly too long (like half and hour). I'm always empty (bowel) but i've read that trying to pass can relieve the pain. I've heard the bath remedy, and the anal massage remedy but never tried either really. Mine also usually happen at night when i'm in bed. I've never had it happen during the day when I was out and about. The pain is obnoxious but not debilitating (like I don't really want to do anything until it subsides but i'd be more than capable of going about my life).

Thanks for the site! I am female, but have not experience the spasm while on my period...can't wait!! I believe this is what my mom has termed the feeling of your ass slamming shut. She explained this to me when I was young as the result of pooing too fast. The whizzham, bam, how about an ass slam? As a precaution, I don't poo fast, but now I'm looking for a remedy to the random midnight ass slam. What a rude awakening!!!

I am female, I have had these, not during my period.... The last couple of times when they were quite severe were during the night when I had had a large portion of meat for dinner... Could be a connection there??? Could it POSSIBLY have anything to do with the horrible things that are used to make our meat grow so fast, efficiently and cheaply?! haha I can't help wondering....

definitely period related. ive had these the last 10/15 years- stabbing pain in my lower rectum several times for a few seconds the day before my period- its how i know im due on- happens every month

I myself am male and get these asscramps... I suppose I should exercise more and sit down less

Joeinlongmont (03.07.2008) must work in the porn industry or similar. "(the pain) started at my anus... then shot sharply down the first seven or eight inches of my penis"
So the pain died off by the time it got to the second seven or eight inches?

For female readers. I've been looking for reasons for my butt pains. I'm 41, mother of 3, and just started getting the pains in my rectum within the last 6-8 months, just like the other females described--8 on a scale of 10, pain when going poop and passing gas, pain when sitting, pain in waves, etc. About 2 months ago, I realized the pains came when I had my period, especially when the heavy flow started. The severe pain lasted at least 2 days. The pain slowly subsided within a week, like a sore muscle slowly disappears. I'm glad I found this site. I will research more about what levator ani syndrom is. It's a start to a diagnosis which I can share with my doctor. Thanks for sharing, everyone!

I am a 35 y/o male. Had these roughly monthly since about 15 or so (during my late 20's sometimes several times a week). And they hurt like hell.

For me, it seems to be centered just behind the tailbone, an inch or so inside the anus. A sharp, stabbing pain.

When I first started getting them it was during the day, in recent years I usually awake at night with them. You will not ignore them. I've learned how to cope, however.

First of all, when you feel one coming on - DO NOT TENSE UP! Do EVERYTHING you can to relax. Slow, deep breaths. Consciously relax your stomach and anal muscles.

I've found that hard pressure (from the sharp corner of a desk for instance) applied directly between the end of your tail bone and the anus makes the pain less intense.

I also noticed that applying pressure to the arches of my bare feet seems to help - like reflexology, I guess. Take the heel end of a flip flop or something similar and put it under the arch of your foot and press down - the heel, ball, and outside edge of your foot should touch the floor. You can also massage your arch, but that doesn't seem to help as much.

Finally, I have been able to corrolate it with postponing going to the bathroom. The longer your stool remains in the colon, the more water is extracted, drying it out. If you ignore the urge to go, the stool hardens to an immovable mass. Your ass apparently doesn't like this.

The fastest relief for me - gross as you may think it is - is a quick warm water enema. It moistens and softens the stool, out it comes in a minute or two, and the pain goes away almost instantly. I actually use colon hydrotherapy semi-regularly now, so the enema thing doesn't bother me. And the pain it saves is well worth getting over the "icky" thoughts you might have.

Let me simply say this - stay hydrated and go to the bathroom as soon as the urge strikes and your ass cramps will remain at bay.

Hope that helps.

I really thought I was the only one who got these too(an I don't drink caffeine) but when I feel potential "butt cramps" I drink water it usually helps. Does any1 no if it might have something to do with being dehydrated? Because when I get them I must drink alot of water then sit on the toilet.

I am a female, 33 y/o, have had a hysterectomy with rectocele repair. I have had these cramps since I was a teenager. 6 months ago I had surgery for a rectocele repair (rectum bulging into the vagina) I thought my pain was from that, and since then I have thought my pain was from the surgery.

This pain is an 8 on a scale from 1-10. I wake myself and my husband up at night when they attack moaning and groaning. There is no massage that helps - I'm not sticking my finger in my butthole.

I have found that if I lay on my stomach and rock myself ( i stick my feet between the head of the mattress and the wall, and then "bounce") it helps. I have had these hit me during the day which are painful, but not nearly as bad.

I am so glad I'm not the only one with a pain in the ass.

So we're not alone, doesn't help much, but comforting none the less. I'm a 44 yr old male and have had these since adolesence. Something like 2 or so per year (that's over 50 of these). Long ago a doctor prescribed nitro (under tonge), didn't help - gave me an intense headache to go along with my ass cramp - sweet.

Personally, I've narrowed this down to one common factor. Everytime I've had these cramps - it's the day after I've lifted something heavy. Sometimes they've kicked in at orgasm, let me tell you - that's akward. For me the only thing that helps is laying very still flat on my back and try no to move or even think about anything. I think I'm going to ask my doctor for some of the nitro cream.

Good luck to you fellow ass-cramps.

I've had ASS cramps and the last time my asshole exploded, the city of pompei, got buried.

My crack blew up last week after a horendous
ass cramp. Dont know where it came from,
but the stink lasted an hour.

i get ass cramps maybe once every 2 months always at about 1 -2 am in the morning , last about 1 hour ..
no idea what the cause is ..
amyl nitrate may relax the muscle .

I don't have an anal cramp, but I have muscle cramps in my butt crack (above the anus). Can last a whole day or two.

I am female and I have had these "Butt Cramps" for years, and yes I too thought I was the only one in the world with this problem. I have learned to sleep with a heating pad plugged in, under the pillow. Now when they wake me up I just get the pad out and turn it on HIGH and sit on it!!! This happens weekly. It is nice to know I am not the only one who sleeps with a pain in tghe ass!!

I've gotten them and it is really bad! It wakes me up from a dead sleep! I've learned not to get up and go into the bathroom because I almost faint and profusely cold sweat from the pain! I also get muscle spasms in every muscle of my body -- assumingly from the MS I was diagnosed with.

I am a female who has been bothered with rectal spasms for about l0 years...I always called them colon spasms. Anyway for a long while I was embarassed to say anything to my doctor about this situation. I too felt that possibly it could be sosmething serious. I found out differently after getting the courage of speak to the doctor who prescribed a small bluish gray pill to put under my tongue whenever these spasms started. They would cause me to have to curl up in a fetal position and moan and groan for 30 to 40 minutes befor I started the medication. This pill also makes you sleepy and you can just lay there and feel the pain subside like in the ebbing of a birthing contraction for all of you who have had children can relate to. My spasms happen mostly at night and I pray for one not to kick in during the day or while I am not at home rendering me helpless. They are no fun and I cannot explain fully and to the degree of the pain. I can tolerate a lot of pain but this is something else. I can sympathize fully.

Oh that horrible arseache. I'd get it intermittently day and night and it'd be so painful I'd be pole-axed. (Har har.) I soon learned, like having a migraine, at the very first sign take a painkiller (soluble aspirin 1st choice but that's a personal thing.) Trying to poo, warm cloths etc didn't help at all (as I writhed about in agony). I did wonder if it was down to various proclivities, substance and sex related, but if that was the case they would have occured much more often. I read that they were less frequent after the age of 45. I've found this too be true. So there are some positive things about getting older...

I'm male and have had Proctalgia fugax for about 40 years (I'm 59), strong enough to pass out on two occasions when younger. Far and away the best approach is to act immediately you feel a hint of the pain coming on: take painkillers (Tylenol or aspirin or paracetamol or similar) then sit down on a hard (preferably cool) floor, bring your knees up to your chest and hug them with your arms. Then rock gently back and forth until the pain lessens (typically 10 - 15 minutes). Once it has lessened, rock for a few more minutes. Don't stop too early or it will come back. Good luck, I know how you're all suffering.

I got my first ass cramp about 20 years ago during the middle of the day while walking the dogs. It was so painful that I had to stop and sit and hold my ass while rocking back and forth. Jeezus, and this was in the middle of my townhouse complex. It was so painful that I couldn't even make it back to the house, which was only 20 yards away.

I went for a number of years before I got the next one. Now, I get them in streaks: sometimes a few in one month and then months without.

Although I have had a couple of mild episodes, usually it is a sharp pain and it's clearly inside. This is not a cheek cramp. It feels like someone is driving a nail into my sacrum from inside my bowels. These episodes usually last a half-hour or more, sometimes up to two hours. Usually, the acute phase of the sharp pain comes on quickly and subsides after 20-30 minutes followed by a period of dull aching pain.

I tend to get them much more often at night, sometimes while sleeping. Surprisingly, I seem to get them more often on the nights after doing the "Dance of the Wild Monkeys" with Mrs. DP.

For relief, I usually wind up pacing the living room floor and beseeching gawd for relief, which is a real act of desperation for this atheist. Showers and baths don't seem to help. Oddly enough, pushing out a poop seems to help the transition from the acute phase to the dull (obtuse?) phase. When I say "pushing out a poop", I mean straining until something comes out, even a little turdlet.

My own theory is that something is coming around the bend into the bowels but, unfortunately, that thing isn't bending and so it creates a pressure on the bottom of the bowel and presses up against the prostate. Moving (or removing) that thing from the bowel provides the relief. The pain phase occurs as the mass is being repositioned for passing.

On the other hand, my GP (family doctor) says that it happens and that there's not much you can do for it except bear it.
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Oh my god! Ihave been having this for years. I am a very healthy male. I eat well, Excercise regularly, etc. etc... I get this about 1x every 4 months. The worst times have been while I have been sleeping. I actually woke up and then passed out. Felt better after though. I was out on a 50 mile bike ride this morning and it hit me. Now I do this ride or even more every week so the fact that it hit while excercising has nothing to do with it but I had to deal with it for an hour for about 16 miles. My buddy who was with me (and we are both chiropractors so I was not embarrassed to share it with him) was at least sympathetic. I even said to him that I felt like if i shoved the end of the bike seat up my ass and rolled it around that would feel great. He said thanks for the visual. I struggled along since I knew stopping wouldn't help then after an hour it finally went away. When I got home the wife asked how was my ride and I said "i got the ass pain again". I do know that for me if I can take some Ibuprophen as soon as is starts it goes away quicker. I will definately be putting some advil in my bike bag from now on.

Wow, pretty amazing how common this is! I am a very healthy 55 yr old woman.
I have an excellent diet/exercise, w/plenty of water and fiber. I have been experiencing these,starting with my periods in my late 20's.
Now they hit like a sniper in the night, and my poor husband gets to go through it with me. I never had them like this until last year, when he found me whimpering and sweating in the fetal position on the landing upstairs. It is absolutely debilitating. I have this fun experience in clusters; I can go many months w/o any, then-wham! I will have several episodes within one month. I also usually experience these lovelies in the middle of a sound sleep. Most recently, I actually had an orgasm in my dream, woke up slightly, then the ass pain hit, and it was the WORST. Walking around really doesn't help me, although I always feel the urge to "do something", this time I took a swig of my husband's muscle-cramp therapy: quininne water. Blaugh. Not sure it helped, but I also did some deep breathing and tried to be calm and still. It was still pretty intense, but seemed to help a bit.

I eat a very healthy diet and take supplements-and am aware of potassium needs, so that does not seem to be the issue for me.

I finally asked my mother about this, and she knew exactly what I meant, & informed me that my Dad had them for the last 10-15 years of his life.
GREAT! must be hereditary? She, on the other hand, has never experienced them.

I do also feel that stress is a contributing factor. We are under some serious finacial stress currently(not alone in that, I know)...could be a major factor.
SO more yoga, meditation? can't hurt! OH, but this affliction sure as hell does!! Best wishes to all other ass-pain afflicted. :)

I used to get ass cramps quite regularly. Kind of crippling... could barely walk and once I even thought I was going to die or something. Would have probably seen a doctor about it if it wasn't so embarrassing! I've been vegan for just over a year and during that time I've barely had them.

Wow! When I posted on here a couple of years ago (I think, because I'm too lazy to look), I thought these "ass cramps" referred to those short bursts of YOWTCH pain I sometimes get during my period or when I have bad gas. They are usually short (less than 15 seconds), and go away the minute I poo or just wait for a second. I'm glad I don't have these cluster/migraine type ass cramps you guys are describing. I feel for you, I really do!

_______
Well, you don't actually blow on it. That's just an expression.

I am a female and I get them only during the first few days of my menstrual cycle.Its feels like a fork is being shoved right into the center of ur butt and u feel this immense pain that tenses ur whole body to the point where you are unable to sit.Not many people get them but for me there a real pain in the ass.

Please see this site about this exact medical problem:

> Proctalgia fugax
> http://www.drlans.nl/pages/articles/wetens07.html

Thanks,
F.

I have had this problem since I was a teenager. I get them about once a month, and a bit more often if I am stressed out.

The pain comes at night while asleep and rarely during the day. Day time pain is usually because of a large and dry number two.

Some solutions:

Sitting on a hard surface [hard corners are best] works very well. This numbs your area and the pain mostly goes away in about 45 seconds. I sit for about 10 minutes just to make sure it is gone for good. Grab a magazine and read something to pass the time faster.

Treat the pain early and it will go away faster. Don't wait, just treat it.

RELAX. Once I got too stressed out and passed out because the pain and stress just fed off each other. This is not good for you heart, mine
was racing.

Another idea that works: Lay in bed with a fabric cold-pack [from freezer] in your special place. This will safely numb the area down in
about 30 seconds, just go to sleep. Drugs take too long to kick in.

If taking a large number two, I always flex my sphincter as the stuff comes out, do not push it out hard, relax. Almost like an inch worm
motion. This will minimize the pain from coming during and afterwords.

These things help me manage this rarely occurring problem. I may go to a doctor someday about this, but I know this is quite common in ppl.

BTW: The guy who said he get s tightness in his perineum when he sneezes hard, I get that too and a quick massage [standing up] in this
area for about 4 seconds makes it go away. I have no other issues or symptoms in this area for the record.

I am a 20 year old female. Again I thought I was the only one and thought this was really serious.
It happens a few times a year and it could be at any time..when im on or off my period.Yesterday I had one.First it starts in my stomach(cramping) then a shooting pain up my butt.It hurts soooo bad! There has to be a reason for this does anyone know???please thanks!

Ass Gnomes. No doubt about it...clear cut case of Ass Gnomes.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

I get them too.
I'm a female in my mid 20s and am extremely healthy. I used to get them really bad, only occasionally, perhaps once a year. Like "migrane" strength. . ."shoot me now and put me out of my misery." They generally would occur in conjunction with my period. My ob/gyn said something about inflammation (that men can get too) but usually menstrual cramping can trigger it in women. She suggested Aleve as an anti-inflammatory. After all, it is a muscle we're talking about.
Also on the heredity note, my mother told me my dad gets them on occasion either from dehydration after a day on the golf course, or from a stressful day at work.
Lately, they have been really mild but more frequent. Stress maybe?! Which would make sense, because you can get bloated/gassy when stressed. Anyone have any thoughts on this?

I've never had them anytime execpt the first few days of my period. And then it is like 10 seconds of agony which actually makes me grimmace, clench my fists and pray for death, followed by some time of less intense pain. I just load up on advil or something and it helps. I can't poop on those cramp days, because even if I don't have an 'active cramp' it hurts like a mother fucker to strain at all.

Hi Everyone,
Have been suffering this "pain in the ass" for way too long. 37yr old female. I plucked up the courage and went to a specialist. He thinks it is a fissure. A small tear in the bowel that causes the pain. I had a CT scan (all clear) and I have a colonoscopy in 4 days. I will let you guys know what the outcome is. A couple of months ago had them around 10 times over 2 weeks and have had no pain since. So bizarre how they come & go with no explanantion.

I sympathize with the sufferers here; as I think I mentioned in an earlier post, I get mild pains down there sometimes from sitting on a tall stool (not toilet) that is too small for my bottom and apparently puts undue pressure on my anus. I have found that I have to massage the area (as inconspicuously and discreetly as possible, as I am teaching high-schoolers), and the pain goes away.
I especially appreciated the post of AC from 8/9/8, who mentioned "flexing the sphincter" while having a large hard b.m. I have done that also, and it does help. Unlike that p