Restroom attendants

Posted 04.20.2006 by AssBlaster2000 (1116)
It totally creeps me out that they're in the bathroom.
44% (133 votes)
It only creeps me out when they are the opposite gender.
12% (35 votes)
I pity the fools, and always leave them a tip.
15% (44 votes)
I never leave a tip. Minimum wage (or less) is good enough.
5% (16 votes)
I never gave much thought to restroom attendants.
24% (72 votes)
Total votes: 300
GottaGoGirl (2615) -- 04.20.2006

There's no reason for a person to lurk in there. If they really HAVE to have it THAT perfect, all they have to do is check in every 15 minutes to ensure cleanliness and supplies.

With other strangers doing their thing, there's a mutual ignoring of one another, out of politeness. But I don't want someone just standing around while I attend to personal matters!

Random Pirate (not verified) -- 04.21.2006

Why would someone want to have that job anyway? Not entering a bathroom frequently during the day, not cleaning it...but to be in the bathroom all day. You have to listen to people shit and piss and smell it as well. What a shit job.

doniker (1555) -- 04.21.2006

I have given tips to bathroom attendants working at expensive restaurants, especially if it is an elderly gentleman.

Once I was drinking at a Sports Bar and I had to take a piss. I walked to the bathroom and this dude, about age 25 wearing T shirt and jeans was standing outside the door.
He proceeded to open the door and follow me in. He just stood there while I pissed in the urinal...it really freaked me out. I then washed my hands and he handed me a paper towel.
As I tried to exit he sort of glanced at a jar that had a dollar bill in it but I told him all my money was out on the bar.
I wonder if he really worked there or was running some scam.

The Big Wiper (2292) -- 04.21.2006

I think opposite gender restroom attendants are awkward and unnecessary. If you're going to hire women for mens' rooms and men for womens' rooms, then at least put a 'temporarily closed for cleaning' sign at the entrance while the attendant is cleaning up.

Why have someone stationed in there all the time? That is, indeed, creepy.

P.S. I've also noticed that you're far more likely to encounter female attendants lurking around male facilities than the opposite. There is a decided double standard regarding male expections of privacy. Often, they seem to be non-existent, such as in the case of allowing female sports reporters to barge into lockers while pro male athletes are naked and towelling off from showers or using the facilities.

You won't find male sports reporters demanding to have access to naked WNBA players. Men, it seems, are supposed to put up with this double standard and say nothing, while feminist thinking along these lines seems to be that it should be no big deal.

I'm waiting for the reaction of such women to a male attendant lurking full-time in their bathrooms.

The Big Wiper (2292) -- 04.21.2006

doniker's post is also an example of overkill on the part of attendants. If that guy really was an attendant, his behavior was creepy and obnoxious.

The job can't pay well, of course, but that attendant turned himself into a stalker.

The Dumpster (2510) -- 04.21.2006

It would make for an interesting option on "career day" at the local school. Or what about that day where everybody is supposed to come in and tell what their dad/mom does for a living:

Little Mary: "My Dad is a doctor and my Mom is a lawyer."

Little Sarah: "My Dad is a rocket scientist and my Mom is an Episcopalian Bishop."

Little Dumpster: "My Dad is a restroom attendant, and my Mom..." (remainder drowned out by derisive laughter from peers).

Fart Poopie (1258) -- 04.21.2006

You have to feel sorry for those people, putting up with people's crap (literally)...

Tip them well so they can do something nice for themselves once in a while.

doniker (1555) -- 04.21.2006

You have to feel sorry for those people, putting up with people's crap (literally)...

Tip them well so they can do something nice for themselves once in a while.

WHY FEEL SORRY??

I would imagine that bathroom attendants at top of the line restaurants and hotels make a pretty good buck.
The janitors do all the heavy cleaning while the attendant only takes care of emergencies and the occasional stench which can easily be combatted with Lysol.
I think I will research the salary of such a job...if they make more than my current salary I could be in for a career change.

The Dumpster (2510) -- 04.21.2006

And probably a lot more good PR stories, too, Doniker. Go for it!!

LittleBrownGem (1) -- 04.21.2006

I pity the day I get desperate enough to take a job like that. Especially in a men's restroom! Eew.

Fart Poopie (1258) -- 04.21.2006

Only a handful of the TOP restaurants and hotels will offer a salary with benefits for restroom attendants. The rest live solely from tips (they usually get tipped $1 per person per visit if they get tipped at all) or they might be lucky enough to be paid about eight bucks an hour.

I googled it. Not that we should believe everything we read on the internet, but most of the sites I read said pretty much the same thing.

GottaGoGirl (2615) -- 04.21.2006

Well, $8 an hour is my company's starting wage for new associates (in CA, anyway). The work is harder, though, and we don't usually get tips (although I have received a number of them; I daresay I offer superior service). :D

Standing around a bathroom can't be that difficult, and if there's a tip jar on the counter, so much the better!

Not that I'm rushing out to sign up, or anything.

doniker (1555) -- 04.21.2006

well that's the whole thing.

if you are a bathroom attendant at a high class joint you hope for those drunk millionaires to use the toilet and give a $20 tip.....

Chuck (300) -- 04.21.2006

If you leave a huge turd ask the attendant if he has a camera. That, or summon him to the bowl, pre-flush, and ask,"Have you ever seen a log THAT big?"

daphne (4610) -- 04.22.2006

Actually, if the WBNA got any type of media recognition more than it does, I'd be very excited. Just sayin'. Those be-atches can play.

But I have to agree that a man in a women's bathroom is highly unlikely. The only solution to female attendants in a male bathroom is to complain to the manager of the establishment.

Otherwise, I see it continuing.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969

cornbandit (not verified) -- 04.22.2006

Man I hate it when i am dropping a deuce in a public shitter and some asshole plops down on the taza beside me and starts farting and grunting,pissing and shitting because they never want to do a courtesy flush, no just sit there and let the fumes choke me,inconsiderate bowstids always cause me to finish before I am ready. and do not try to hold your breath because that just makes it worse, unable to hold your breath long enough to escape you always inhale a double lungfull of sulphuric fumes and shit molecules that hang so heavily in the air

log_blogger (67) -- 04.22.2006

I guess I've never been to a nice enough place to rate restroom attendants.
_______
www.mydailypoop.com

Fart Poopie (1258) -- 04.22.2006

Sorry, GGG.
My third job (I was still in high school) paid me $7/hr and the job I had in college paid just over $8/hr. Cost of living is different everywhere so it may seem like a lot to some people, but for others it's not enough to pay the bills.
I still think that being a bathroom attendant has to be crappy job. Having to sit there and smell people's ass fumes, clean up a bit after them, then notice how many don't wash their hands... eew.

sharty mcfly (211) -- 04.23.2006

Money is money, what people are willing to do for it can vary. I'd rather deal with other people's bullshit then their actual shit. Most places that have bathroom attendents, well they seem to not need it. Let's have bathroom attendants in hazmat suits standing by in bars. Ladies you know someone other then a friend to hold your hair and not pass judgement would be nice. And how about a quick solution to urinating on ones shoes when drunk? That would be really nice, that's a service i would gladly pay for, someone there to help me out of a potentionally embarassing bathroom incident.

Turdle Dove (85) -- 04.23.2006

Log blogger--in Milwaukee, attendants are in dance clubs, even the ones with cheap covers, probably just to keep the bathroom semi-clean through the night. (Can't wait until WI passes the NY can't-smoke-anywhere law, by the way.) You don't have to be rich to see one. But I can't stand being in there alone w/one when I have to poop. I end up holding it in, which is never a good idea.

The Dumpster (2510) -- 04.23.2006

I wish Doniker would figure out a way to "go undercover" as a restroom attendant for about a week and give us a diary of it.

Or if not Doniker, maybe SamDamnit would volunteer?

Shame that Tom Wolfe isn't a PoopReporter. He could really do justice to this topic.

ganja fairy (11) -- 04.23.2006

no offence to restroom attendants, but that shit is creepy!

my boyfriend and i made an emergency stop at ikea in phoenix to take our THANKSGIVING shits.

he came out with this weird look on his face, and i asked him what was wrong. he said, "there was some dude lurking around in there! and when i was leaving he tried to hand me paper towels!!"

The Dumpster (2510) -- 04.23.2006

Ganja, nothing could be worse than the 150-year-old woman encountered by Vertical Grimace in the waning days of the Soviet empire.

Nothing, that is, except the lack of AB2K giving us her own mordant wit and "Dear ANNus" sensible advice in these pages.

Cheesewhiz (not verified) -- 04.27.2006

I am a guy who worked as a restroom attendant in a ladies room for about a month. I was plainly identified by my my name tag and hotel logo. Only a few people seemed to be startled to see me (mostly older women).Tips were REALLY crappy! I made more $$$ working in the gift shop.

The Dumpster (2510) -- 04.27.2006

Cheesewhiz, tell us the name of the hotel that puts a guy in the ladies' room, so we can avoid it. Jeez! What is this country coming to?

And where is TSV when you need her?

GottaGoGirl (2615) -- 04.28.2006

Yeah, I'm trying to be less shameful, but there is just NO WAY I'm going to go about my business with some strange man outside the stall!

Although.....

I suppose the times I've gone at large outdoor events with rows of port-o-johns, there were any number of strange men outside THOSE stalls.

Aw, heck. C'mon in, Cheesewhiz!

mott the poople (127) -- 04.28.2006

I leave a tip if I poop. I try to be extra loud if a female is working. They ALWAYS grin after...♥...

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Postman (840) -- 03.29.2008

I've never come across one, and if I did, I'd have to wonder, why would anybody want a job like that.

Why leave a tip? You're the one that did all the work pushing out the turd, right?

The Shit Volcano (3818) -- 03.30.2008

Come to think of it, neither have I. Do they even have restroom attendants anymore? They're sort of like pay toilets and phone booths, virtually impossible to find. I am not a shameful shitter yet if I found a restroom attendant I'm not sure what I'd do. After all the tips given to waiters, bag boys, porters, etc, the last thing I want to do is have to tip someone for handing me a towel I can get myself.

_______
Born right the first time.

prarie doggin (4058) -- 03.30.2008

If they wanna come in and wipe my ass, I might consider a tip.

Postman (840) -- 03.30.2008

That would REALLY make me not want that job.

prarie doggin (4058) -- 03.30.2008

You're right Postman, that was a revolting thought. I got a little woozy just typing it.

Postman (840) -- 03.30.2008

Of course, everybody has a price. I might consider it if it was J Lo or somebody like that.

prarie doggin (4058) -- 03.30.2008

I'd pass on Cheryl-two-squares-per-shit-Crow. That ass crack must look like an African riverbed during the dry season.

Logjam (2826) -- 03.30.2008

There is no one whose ass I would want to wipe. I can barely tolerate wiping my own.

Bilgepump (2913) -- 03.30.2008

Me too, Logjam. Uh....somehow, that didn't come out right.

Logjam (2826) -- 03.30.2008

Now of course, swiping asses is a whole different matter. Speaking of which, where the fuck is that little foam crack, wonderpance?

Bilgepump (2913) -- 03.30.2008

I've seen her in the forums, briefly, but she has been very noticeably absent from the front page, with the quick exception in the infamous Dodger thread where she showed up just to gloat about how much trouble I was in. I'm gonna swipe her ass with a bandsaw next time.

prarie doggin (4058) -- 03.30.2008

Why not just file some "teeth" onto the edge of your Visa card.

Logjam (2826) -- 03.30.2008

Either way, sounds like you'll rip her a crack that will make Star Jone's look like the grin on the Mona Lisa.

Bilgepump (2913) -- 03.30.2008

Perhaps neither of you two gents are aware of Wedgie's Roller Derby Queen status.....her gluts are like hardened steel.

Logjam (2826) -- 03.30.2008

By the way, using old threads like this is kinda like breaking into an old abandon building and staging a hit-and-run keg party. No need to feel guilty or even clean up the mess afterwards.

Bilgepump (2913) -- 03.30.2008

For you maybe....I'm still in the doghouse, so, go ahead, have your fun, but think about me maybe a little, I will be the one cleaning up.

Logjam (2826) -- 03.30.2008

This is news to me. Is she aware that ever since I was a kid, I have enjoyed nothing more than buffing metal to a nice shine.

Logjam (2826) -- 03.30.2008

Your crime was staging a keg party in a NEW house without first getting a building permit.

PoopDolly (14) -- 03.30.2008

In a posh hotel in York, the ladies toilets have not one, nor two, but THREE 'Cleanliness Executives'. Amazingly, they are not there to clean the toilets, nor to aid any latrine based emergency. These women are the toilet version of a Chanel counter girl.

As well as spraying any innocent person using the lav with old ladies perfume, they offer boiled sweeties from a large glass bowl (before you ask - the sweets have NO wrappers - just think of the shit-reminants on those bad-boys), then look snootily at the tip jar as you leave their shitablishment.

Think yourself lucky you have just one attendant, never mind a hole (forgive the pun) other job title going on.

N.B Really don't think it matters what sex the toilet attendant is. Unless they are actually watching you and your daily ablutions through a crack (sorry) in the cubicle, I don't think there's much to get perturb(turd)ed by.

Hum bunger (108) -- 03.31.2008

In the 1974 book "Working" by Studs Terkel, people were interviewed their occupations. One of them was Lewis Hayward a washroom attendant:

“They come in. They wash their hands after using the service—you hope. (A soft
chuckle.) I go through the old brush routine, stand back, expecting a tip. A quarter
is what you expect when you hand the guy a towel and a couple of licks of the
broom. . . . The whole thing is obsolete.
It’s on its way out. This work isn’t necessary in the first place. It’s so superfluous. It
was never necessary. (Laughs.)"

The man must be a walking encyclopaedia of scatastrophies and porcelain achievements.

Imagine doing that for 30 years. Ugh.

kcbelles (not verified) -- 01.12.2009

I am a restroom attendant - great part-time job. It's only Fri & Sat nights in a nightclub with dancing. The club likes you there to keep the bathroom clean and stocked, and to report unruly, drunk patrons.

And I just don't sit there. I'm up, constantly wiping down the counters and picking stuff up off the floors (let's face it - women with a couple drinks in 'em - they're slobs, for the most part). I lay down paper towels next to them when they're washing their hands. I will say "hello, ladies" when they walk in, but do not engage in conversation unless they start it. The ones that are uncomfortable with someone there, I leave alone (can always tell - they never look at you in the eye).

I provide lotions, colognes, hair spray and an array of toiletries/OTC meds, etc, as well as gum and mints (chocolates for holidays), all out of my own pocket. It's a tax write-off, which is a good thing, cuz folks love "free" stuff. I'm there to assist (which is more often than you might think - tie a bow, put in a safety pin, sew up a hem, etc.), to clean and to stock, and keep things pleasant. I do not expect a tip unless I've helped you out in some way (not just the paper towel thing - that I do for everyone, just as a courtesy, basically because of the poor design of the restroom. At the sink, you can't see the dispenser in the wall, and 9 out of 10 ladies stand there with dripping hands, looking about. By passing out the towels, I keep traffic moving.

Just my side of it. Great paying part-time work - 4.5 hours, two nights a week.

jerseygirl (not verified) -- 05.04.2009

my friends mother is a restroom attendant at a new jersey beach I laughed when my friend said her mother is a resroom attendant

Russell (335) -- 05.04.2009

OK. Restroom attendants just freak me out. 1. They should have better things to do than be in the bathroom with a total stranger doing their business. And 2. I don't want a restroom attendant listening to my bodily functions.
_______
Russell the shitting queen

Peristalsis (26) -- 05.04.2009

I was in germany some years back and thought it very cool that there were restroom atendants on doody at what I suppose were the German equivalent of rest stops and gas station restrooms. Maybe they were self-appointed and just trying to make a little cash like the squee-gee dudes on street corners. But the facilities seemed clean & didn't resemble the charnel houses that our own American public toilets have become. I for one would welcome more attendants. For that matter it'd be nice if the staff of most fast food places or gas stations would take a break from texting their homies and look at their crappers every couple of months or so. I know...why should they clean it up, it be them DAMN CUSTOMERS that keep makin' that mess!

making you think (not verified) -- 05.04.2009

It's funny to me how men never have to think about rape. That is why there would be more concern about having a man in the women's room, dumbasses!

ChiefThunderbutt (3215) -- 05.04.2009

Dear making you think......What makes you think that men don't think about being raped. I have dreamed about being attacked by a horde of oversexed vixens all my life!!


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

daphne (4610) -- 05.05.2009

Chief Thunderbutt. My favorite lesbian.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I LUV THIS SHIT (not verified) -- 10.05.2009

i am a restroom attendant and i make 200 to 300 a week so who cares what you think

ChiefThunderbutt (3215) -- 10.06.2009

Dear I LUV THIS SHIT....With an income like that you will certainly be retiring to the French Rivera and living a life of luxury some day.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

I LUV THIS SHIT (not verified) -- 10.06.2009

get it right 2000 to 3000 a week

prarie doggin (4058) -- 10.07.2009

So what other "services" are you providing ILTS? Blumpkins?

ChiefThunderbutt (3215) -- 10.07.2009

ILTS......I am not a great mathematician but if you get a $5.00 tip from every one who comes through your place of business (which I find hard to believe) it would take 600 customers to give you a salary of $3,000 dollars per week. I would imagine you would be lucky to average $2.00 per tip so you must be in one hell of a big toilet. Could you possibly be exaggerating
just a wee bit? Three figure salaries are hard to come by.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

I LUV THIS SHIT (not verified) -- 10.07.2009

it`s not just about cleaning toilets and floors there are glory holes to man and massages to give

Mrs. Mad Crapper (1155) -- 10.07.2009

Well then you must be doing it wrong.You should be making 3 times that if you're giving the right massages and offering the right services.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

ChiefThunderbutt (3215) -- 10.07.2009

So I LUV THIS SHIT....How much do you get for a glory hole session? Do you have high medical bills for the STDs you probably get. Do you have a huge mouthwash bill? So many questions.

r>_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Lame comment!
I LUV THIS SHIT (not verified) -- 10.08.2009

WITH ALL YOU GUYS ATTITUDE THATS Y I HAVE & MAKE THE MONEY I MAKE. YOUR STUPID & BROKE,AND U ARE NEVER GOING TO MAKE IT IN LIFE.
MY HOME & 5 CARS WILL NEVER B TAKEN, YOU ON THE OTHER HAND GO TO A JOB YOU HATE & CAN'T QUIT . I AM SELF EMPLOYED & HAVE 19 EMPLOYEES.

MY GOAL 4 2010 IS 200,000 A YEAR TAX FREE SO THANKS A LOT FOR THE INSULTS. BY THE WAY RESTROOM SERVICES ARE FOR THE RICH & FAMOUS ONLY!!!! NOT U BROKE A!! HOLES.

Bilgepump (2913) -- 10.08.2009

Well...I guess you told us, didn't you.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Mrs. Mad Crapper (1155) -- 10.08.2009

Hun? What was that I couldn't hear you.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

I LUV THIS SHIT (not verified) -- 10.08.2009

THE KEY TO SUC ESS IS ANY PROVEN METHOD
THE RESTROOM SERVICS HAS MADE ME A LOT OF CASH MONEY IN THE THE PAST 5 YEARS. DON'T DO ANY THING YOU DON'T LIKE & WHATEVER YOU DO DO YOUR BEST. NOW I AM BUYING RENTAL PROPERTY SO WHEN YOU LOSE YOUR JOB WHICH YOU WILL I MIGHT RENT TO U. NO I DON'T THINK SO

Logjam (2826) -- 10.09.2009

Too bad for you, sweetie, that trolls make as little as they do.

I LUV THIS SHIT (not verified) -- 10.09.2009

YOU`RE JUST JEALOUS OF THE FACT THAT I CAN MAKE MORE MONEY SERVICING ONE GLORY HOLE FOR AN AFTERNOON THAN YOU CAN IN A WHOLE MONTH AT YOUR WORTHLESS JOB

Mrs. Mad Crapper (1155) -- 10.09.2009

What could you speak up we can't hear you. Your not talking loud enough.

pfft cash money haha.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Bilgepump (2913) -- 10.09.2009

Uh...no. No, I definitely am not jealous of you, I AM jealous of Feto D. Walcott though.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

prarie doggin (4058) -- 10.09.2009

Hey ILTS, maybe you got lucky and Feto was on the delivery end of your glory hole. Hey, maybe Magic Johnson. But then you wouldn't know.

ChiefThunderbutt (3215) -- 10.09.2009

I LUV THIS SHIT said "MY GOAL 4 2010 IS 200,000 A YEAR TAX FREE SO THANKS A LOT FOR THE INSULTS. BY THE WAY RESTROOM SERVICES ARE FOR THE RICH & FAMOUS ONLY!!!! NOT U BROKE A!! HOLES."

Please use some of the vast fortune you are accumulating to take a few courses in writing.

I am very happy for you, I feel sure that the penises and anuses of the rich and famous taste much better than those of we poor peons.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Bilgepump (2913) -- 10.09.2009

ILTS...you do realize that the IRS can track your IP address, right? Better get those late tax returns in order, they are cracking down hard on tax cheats and evaders.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Mrs. Mad Crapper (1155) -- 10.09.2009

Great Bilge now I have to break out the tin foil hat again before the government reads my thoughts! Dammit PD where's that foil!
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Bilgepump (2913) -- 10.09.2009

MMC..you needn't worry, even the IRS is afraid of you.


_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Great comment!
Horny IRS Agent (not verified) -- 10.09.2009

ILTS....Me and about a dozen of the boys are willing to overlook your indiscretions in exchange for a few good rim jobs...oh we have been out of toilet paper here at HQs for a few days but that shouldn't bother a dedicated professional like you. We will be backing up to your glory hole shortly.

Mrs. Mad Crapper (1155) -- 10.09.2009

Hopefully all you IRS agents have used Minty Ass to give your hole that kissin' clean feel!
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Horny IRS Agent (not verified) -- 10.09.2009

No Mrs. MC....out holes will be "au naturale", I feel sure that ILTS would want it that way. Cover-up flavors are for sissies.

Mrs. Mad Crapper (1155) -- 10.09.2009

So that's a big no on wiping your ass with a fermented roadkill skunk's stink sack?
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Great comment! +1 point
Logjam (2826) -- 10.10.2009

SOMETHING I LUV SAID GOT TO ME. YESTERDAY I RESIGNED MY TENURED UNIVERSITY POSITION AND STARTED HANGING OUT IN THE CAMPUS AND TOWN RESTROOMS, OFFERING WHATEVER ASSISTANCE TO FOLKS WHO CAME IN THAT I COULD. I FEEL ALIVE AGAIN. WHAT REALLY AMAZES ME IS HOW ALL THE SMALL THINGS ARE SUDDENLY WRIT LARGE. EVEN THE SMALLEST WORD I TYPE APPEARS AS IF WRITTEN IN CAPS. WOW. WONDERPANCE, YOU GOTTA TRY THIS.

ChiliKahKah (1227) -- 10.10.2009

best tip to give them, change jobs !

Great comment! +1 point
prarie doggin (4058) -- 10.10.2009

IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU LOGJAM. I HAVE CLOSED MY SUCESSFUL BUSINESS AND HAVE TAKEN A NEW CAREER PATH ALSO. EXCEPT FOR THIS DAMN RASH I'VE CONTRACTED ON MY MOUTH I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER. I ALSO PLAN ON NOT REPORTING MY INCOME TO THE IRS.

Great comment! +1 point
ChiefThunderbutt (3215) -- 10.10.2009

I ALSO HAVE DECIDED TO EMBARK ON A NEW CAREER. DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN PURCHASE MOUTHWASH IN 55 GALLON DRUMS?


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Jack Schitt (118) -- 10.11.2009

Boy-o-boy, this is an angle I never expected from DTI.

daphne (4610) -- 10.13.2009

Why do you have five cars? Is is because you have so much mouthwash to tote around?

And all this time here I was thinking that your blue moustache was from Kool Aid, why, you jolly good, open-throated spunk-licker, you!


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Blond Mullet (581) -- 10.13.2009

Jeez I must be thick. I had to Google "glory hole".
...I wish I hadn't.
Hey! Nobody has told the joke about the rest room attendant who hadn't taken his annual leave. Someone told him he was entitled to holidays, so he approached his boss about it.
Next time that person visited the rest room, there was the attendant stretched out on a banana lounge, dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and Bermuda shorts, sunglasses, and sipping on a pina colada.
Seems he told his boss that he was overdue for holidays, so the boss said he could take them at his own convenience...
_______
The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

wonderpance (679) -- 10.13.2009

THANKS FOR THE ADVICE, LOGJAM. WHO KNEW THAT CAPITAL LETTERS COULD BE SO LIBERATING??

WAIT....I DON'T HAVE TO GO WORK AT A GLORY HOLE FOR THE RICH AND FAMOUS NOW, DO I?
_______
i love poop.

Bilgepump (2913) -- 10.13.2009

NOPE, YOU AREN'T READY FOR THE BIG TIME YET. YOU HAVE TO PRACTICE ON US POOR REGULAR JOES FIRST.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

prarie doggin (4058) -- 10.13.2009

SPEAKING OF WHICH. MOMMY WHEN YOU START MAKING YOUR SERIOUS 6 FIGURE IN-COME, CAN I GET A RAISE IN MY ALLOWANCE? I NEED MORE MONEY AS I HAVE GREAT ASS-PIRATIONS NOW.

DungDaddy (1465) -- 10.13.2009

Bathroom attendants always make me sad. Not because their work is demeaning, but because I always imagine their little children. When their teacher or friend asks them what their father or mother does for a living...

"My dad is a restroom attendant. He holds a towel for fat bastards who are washing feces off their hands, and sells gum to restaurant masturbators."

It just seems hard for a kid.

ChiefThunderbutt (3215) -- 10.13.2009

DD....Just imagine how hard it is for I LUV THIT SHIT'S kids, "Oh my dad/mom sucks cocks through a hole in the wall for a living but does well enough financially that we are vacationing on the Riviera this summer."


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

prarie doggin (4058) -- 10.13.2009

I'm picturing back to school night. All their teachers in full hazmat suits.

Mrs. Mad Crapper (1155) -- 10.13.2009

Your seat is over here Mr. SHIT, yes it's the taped off yellow hazmat area.Let me just get out the ol' Lysol and give you a good once over.
_______
Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Great comment! +2 points
prarie doggin (4058) -- 10.16.2009

Here's a little tune I wrote for you ILTS. My apologies to Bruce Springsteen.
Well then again, I take that back. Fuck you Bruce.

I knew a dude who was a bathroom attendant,
In some fancy place.
He kept warm towels draped on his forearm,
Wipe your ass or your face boy.
Saw him the other night in his fancy "office"
I was walking in, he was puttin out.
I sat down, took a wicked dump,
And all I heard was him talkin 'boouuut.

Glory holes.
Well that ain't no lie.
Glory holes.
Is that your brown eye?
Glory holes
Glory ho-o-o-o-ls

Things are gettin' really busy tonight
Lots of cash in the till
I hope when he gets old,
his kids don't find out about it.
But they prooobably will.
Just standin' round, handin' out towels,
breathing in other mens stink.
The IRS will likely catch a whiff,
And he'll end up in the clink.

Glory holes.
Well it ain't no lie.
Glory holes.
Is that your brown eye?
Glory holes.
Glory ho-o-o-ols

sittingpretty (2412) -- 10.19.2009

I knew you would come through gloriously, PD. I greated you too.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

DungDaddy (1465) -- 10.19.2009

Too bad PD can't get five extra points for that one. That's probably close to what Spermstain actually first came up with, but his agent made him change it.

And the Chief goes of his normally civil reservation with "my dad sucks cock through a hole in the wall..." I about laughed out loud.

Lady_Latrine (not verified) -- 10.31.2009

I am a bathroom attendant and work at clubs and joints like the Hard Rock hotel about 3 nights a week in San Diego, CA.

Management contracts with bathroom attendant service companies to add security and keep the can clean. I have seen drunk girls passed out in stalls, drinks spilled (causing a slip and fall nightmare for a drunk lady in 5" heels) and more toilet paper run out that would not have been attended to had I not been there. I have found lost wallets, placed Band-Aids on blisters and produced emergency tampons for desperate gals. Condoms are also appreciated.

I have received single tips to the tune of $25, hugs, and had a Red Bull bought for me from a sweet girl who didn't have cash but wanted to do something nice in appreciation anyway.

What goes in the ladies room, stays in the ladies room. And yes, girls always go together.

Post new comment



Prove you're not a spambot: what bodily function is this site about? Four letters, begins with p...

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.

*

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <br>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
20,000 character limit / Flood control: 60 seconds between comments and no more than 10 comments per hour



About PoopReport | Advertise! | The PoopReport Press Room | Report Your Poop | Contact Dave
Copyright 2000-2009 by PoopReport.com. All content is meant to entertain, not offend. Hope you enjoyed it.