In a nutshell: whenever I leave the house or find myself in a place where access to a bathroom is impossible, or even difficult, or embarrassing, I get a progressively uncontrollable urge to poop!
This has got to be one of the most ridiculous problems somebody could have. But I have it, and it's making my life miserable. I don't even think I can get married and be in a relationship because of this problem and the embarrassment it brings.
It usually doesn't matter if I am feeling perfectly okay when I leave the house or even if I do take a poop before I leave -- it still happens. Half the time it'll be false alarms, and the other half it'll be as real as it get. Either way, this thing is ruining my social life!
And here's the punch line: if you put me into a place and somehow convince me there's a readily accessible bathroom facility there, I won't get this urge. However, the minute I'm aware that there isn't actually one, I'm gonna start getting uncomfortable and eventually call it a night and leave because I have to hit a bathroom. And then, what do you know -- it's a false alarm!
I'm guessing this thing has more to do with psychology. Because of course I wasn't born with this phobia. It happened over multiple incidents that, I believe, formed some kind of fear in the back of my brain. And now I can't get rid of it and I don't even think that getting rid of it is possible. Am I stuck with this for life?
Close members of my family are aware of my problem. They've suggested I seek medical or psychiatric help. I plan to. But I was just wondering if anybody has a similar problem, or if such problem is by any means treatable.
My goal is this: when I leave the house next time, I don't even want to recall having such phobia. I just wanna be like everyone else: I just want to get the urge to poop when it's really time to go, and not because of a fear that accumulated from past experiences (that ended in bad and embarrassing ways).
Any help would be appreciated.
Thanks!