Writing poetry about poop is something like the act itself: there are those who produce masterpieces, and there are others who just sit and piss away their time. But there is something about the intellectual appreciation of poop humor that brings out the poet in many of us.
Various forms of poop poetry (or "pooetry [1]," as it is more appropriately known here) have been the subjects of previous contests on this site. In 2001 we had Poo Haikus [2], celebrating the beauty of poop through that classical and disciplined form of Japanese blank verse. The winner [3] of that contest, Professor Lump, was given the title of Poop Poet Laureate; but the good Professor hasn't been on the site for many moons.
The other pooetry-related official contest was Roses Are Brown: Poetic Poop Appreciation [4], way back in 2002. The challenge of that contest was to write "an ode to poop in the ‘Roses Are Red' style." The winner [5], Che Guanovara, also has not been heard from for a while.
But one form of pooetic expression we've never formally explored is the rollicking old limerick. This is surprising -- because, with its bawdy and often scatological history, there is a natural fit between the limerick and the appreciation of poop humor for which this site is world-famous (fumous?). Thus, since we haven't had a poetry contest in years, it is very much in order that we have one for poop limericks.
So, aspiring pooets one and all, your opportunity has arrived! There are only two rules for this contest.
Let the limericks begin. The winner will receive a PoopReport t-shirt [6]!
| 6/11/06: This contest has now closed. See the winner! [7] |