So GottaGoGirl came up with this poll and sent it to me. I post all the polls, but accept ideas from everyone. Anyway, I was putting up the choices and thinking which one I would vote for. Then I realized: None! I have Tivo! I just pause live TV and go take a crap.

That could be a new advertising slogan: "Tivo: The frequent shitter's best friend." It will make your shows wait for you when you take a dump. The commercial could include some actors on a set with a studio audience. An audience member stands up and yells: "Stop! I have to take a crap!" The actors pause and are frozen in place. Cut to the audience member taking a crap. He says "ahhhhh", wipes, flushes, washes his hands (you have to depict proper hygiene) and goes back to his seat, and the actors resume. I think almost everyone with a poop problem or who poops a lot would want a Tivo after that. Judging by who comes to this site, that's a lot. Damn, am I in the wrong line of work or what?

(Haha not really)

I voted leaving the door open. Not because I do, but because my daughter gave me the idea for the poll. I walked into the family room, and she was on the pot, craning to see the t.v. reflected in a mirrored closet door she'd propped open. She couldn't wait for commercial.

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Santa Caca!

Yes, well, my second choice would have to be to turn the TV volume up. I do that anyway when I have to leave the room and I don't want to miss something. I'd try to watch it with the door open, but I'd have to have a periscope to see the TV from the toilet (or a funnel and hose attached to my butt!)

I chose to do the potty dance though, since I'm a champion at holding my bodily functions in check. I wonder how that would look on a resume? "Able to resist the urge to defecate whilst conducting company business." It would have to be a pretty darn good show to make me hold it, though. I don't tighten those sphincter muscles for just anything!

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~Happiness is a warm squirt (and a puppy)~

I try to hold it on the rare occasion I am watching TV. Usually I'm on my computer so I just switch over to the laptop of I'm not using it already and take it with me. Still, the question regards TV, so I voted hold it.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

i chose the first option because there's usually not a whole lot of time in between commercials, so i can usually hold it.

now, if it's in a movie theater, that's another question. perhaps that should be a poll. what do you do when you have to go during a movie at the theater? i won't answer my own question yet, just in case it does become a poll.

ASSBLASTER2000, you should totally go into marketing. that's one of the greatest ideas for a commercial i've ever heard! i'm serial.
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i love poop.

i forgot to mention, nothing can keep me away from my Taylor Hicks! not even poop!
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i love poop.

Unfortunately none of these choices match my approach... I don't watch t.v.
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Excretion is an art form.

We viewers appreciate your abstention so as not to skew the vote. Thank you.

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Santa Caca!

I just remembered a time years ago when I held it through a movie in a theater. It was a Jackie Chan movie. It didn't take much to hold it and it's not worthy of a poop story. I just posted this for Wonderpance.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

thanks,double flush! i don't think i've ever found myself needing to poop while at a movie (probably cuz i usually go to movies at night, and do most of my pooping earlier in the day), but there have been plenty of times that i've almost pissed my pance cuz i refuse to leave the theater when the movie's still going. that hasn't happened in a long time, though, cuz i leanred to make sure i pee as much as possible before the movie starts, and i never buy a soda. damn tiny bladder!
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i love poop.

I picked the 3rd choice as well.

If I have to take a shit their is NO television show worth holding it for.

Who actually watches American Idol past the first five weeks of people who can't sing? I'm amazed here.

I voted for the second option. If I have to poop, I've got to poop. There are times that we all know it's coming whether we do the peepee dance or not.

And American Idol makes me want to take a big dump anyway.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

America has run out of talent. American Idol should stop for a year or three and let the talent rest before they get started back up again.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

"...Who actually watches American Idol past the first five weeks of people who can't sing? I'm amazed here..."

People with teeny-bopper children, that's who. We don't let our kids watch t.v. alone, so with a 12-year-old, we're captive to American Idol. Really, though, it's about as wholesome as you can get, talent pool draining or no.
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Santa Caca!

even if i did have a tv, or watch tv at all, it could never compete with taking a poo.

everyone has a guilty pleasure. mine is American Idol.

SOUL PATROL! SOUL PATROL!
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i love poop.

I too am forced to watch Idol because my child loves it.

I really don't understand how the show is such a big hit. It is 50% commercial breaks and repeative horseshit week after week.

I hate American Idol! No crap is worth ruining for one of those fuck-ass reality shows. CSI, maybe, but not reality TV. I took the test on the basis of the shows I watch, but it was hard. For network shows I just go. They will be re-run later. For a hurricane report on the Weather Channel I will contort and watch from the toilet. Can't miss my hurricane commentary! I may miss catching Paul Goodloe accidentally rooting for the storm again.

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Don't question authority. It doesn't know either.

I really like hurricanes and being in the (brick!) house during them. Hurricanes are just awesome. Generally, I don't watch TV, but hurricane or thunderstorm reports keep me glued.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

Brick house! Definately a brick house! I was in a wood frame during Hurricane Frances.

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Don't question authority. It doesn't know either.

I remember Fran probably more vividly than any other hurricane. It was the first hurricane we had here in eastern North Carolina after we had moved into this house. We moved after Bertha but right before Fran. I recall feeling the wind under the floor I slept on, going outside in the driving rain and howling wind to check up on the generator, and eating prepackaged food for a week. And man did that wind howl. We had a set of double doors that didn't seal and man were they annoying!

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

The double door thing had me laughing my ass off. We had a tree outside of the house that kept knocking on the roof. BANG BANG... bang... BANGABANGABANG!!!

I got peed on through a ceiling fan. Hurricanes like to pee through roofs. It's a great joke with them. Just look it up in the forums. Off Topic section, "If Weather Took Over The Weather Channel".

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I have seen the truth and it makes no sense!

That almost reminds me of a tree at a bus stop I used to go to often. This house has a lot of structural inadequacies, if you will, thus there were and are several leaky roof spots during any sort of storm, though the shingles in the roof handle a shower just fine.

If weather took over The Weather Channel, StarVision would probably put another eternal PowerPoint on Channel 24. As if they didn't already have enough of those. Sigh.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

Who cares if American Idol's on? Idol is crap and it's taking current American entertainment down the toilet with it. Anywho, I'd do the potty dance and hold it til a commercial if something good was on... Simpsons, America's Most Wanted, Cops, MAD TV, etc. I wonder why waiting til the commercial wasn't an option....? Oh well. good poll!

"Idol is crap and it's taking current American entertainment down the toilet with it."

AMEN!!! I'd take Comedy Central over Idol any day!

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

"Cops"? Ba Da DING ding ding ding DING ding ding! But to each his own!

But, Poodemonium, the whole question IS what you do when you CAN'T wait for the commercial! I asked my daughter why she was crapping with the door open and craning to see the tv in the mirror. Because she COULDN'T wait for commercial! :)
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Santa Caca!

Finally, another person who realized that the simpsons and WWPC are the only good stuff on TV. I hate Idol and have never watched a full epsisode. PRobably because I don't have a load of time to watch. So I won't vote.

Idol is poisoning our youth (like the greek guy) I went down my street where there are a boatload of 5th grade kids and the're talking about Idol and Dragon tales. BOO!

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

I don't know what disturbs me more, that 5th graders are American Idol junkies or that their second choice of viewing is a PBS toddler show with hardly any content. *shudders*

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I have seen the truth and it makes no sense!

I must speak for my generation that we too were very dim. Even through middle school I watched PBS. I am so very sick inside. Or perhaps I'm just not very fond of TV and didn't care. Either way, I did it. Everyone else always talked about Friends or Pokemon. I really like anime, but I'll pass on Dragon Ballz, Pokemon, and Digimon. The stuff on Adult Swim is much better in my opinion.

... I hope I haven't unknowingly started an argument about anime. I feel kind of safe. Most anime people I know like InuYasha anyway.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

I guess I'm the only Adult Swim anime fan who doesn't. Don't know why, but I just can't get a feeling on that show.

Anyway, my commentary on PBS is that it has dramatically gone downhill in the last decade.

The kids programming is substandard, especially Sesame Street since they introduced the character of Elmo. When I was a child I learned to count and knew sounds from the alphabet at three years old because of Sesame Street. If I were a child today I would turn the program off the minute Elmo started singing "The Jacket Song". For the record, the Jacket Song is the same as the Crayon Song, and the Lamp Song. All using the Jingle Bells tune and repeating the same word over and over. Gee, that stimulates a child's intellect.

Don't get me started on the putting Cookie Monster on a diet thing. Some people say it is to teach kids to eat healthy. I say it encourages anorexia at and even earlier age than before. Cookie Monster was silly. This diet is stupid. No more Reading Rainbow. No more Wishbone. Just a half-starved blue plush puppet and couple of gay aliens I would like to strangle.

As for the adult programming, it seems that PBS has forgotten that there are adults between the ages of eighteen and forty-nine. Every pledge night I have ever seen is nothing but Baby Boomer bullshit. I am not interested in a doo-wap concert of old tunes from the 1960s. I don't give a crap about the Rolling Stones. And I HATE Peter, Paul and Mary! What is it with PBS and Peter, Paul and Mary?!? They are on EVERY FUCKING PBS PLEDGE NIGHT EVER!!!! From what I've seen of them they are stuck, self righteous little pricks!

I don't remember the 1950s, and from what I read of it I'm glad I didn't have to suffer through McCarthyism. (Oh, wait... I think there's a terrorist under my bed! Never mind!) Gee, how come no one ever sends in money on pledge night? The PBS executives are baffled! Gasp!

Let's see, the last few times I have tuned into PBS they are showing the Antiques Roadshow. This is ALL they seem to show now.

Oh, wait. They still show Nova and shows like that. I would be happy to watch Nova... If it wasn't all about paranoia! I used to watch Nova for its episodes about volcanoes, interesting medical discoveries, space travel, and meteorology. Now the only thing Nova portrays are documentaries on bio-terrorism, new weapons being deployed in Iraq, and the use of forensic science for catching terrorists. I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S FUCKING ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For the reasons listed above, I do not support PBS. PBS does not care if I support them or not. I have the audacity not to be born during the forties and fifties, which means, in their minds, I can't possibly support them.

Politicians are the same way now.

NEWSFLASH FOR PBS AND MOST POLITICIANS ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL!!!! Yes, there were a lot of Baby Boomers, and yes, some of them are loaded. But they are all reaching their sixties and above. They lived VERY unhealthy lifestyles as younger folks and many of them are even dying BEFORE their sixtieth birthdays. (i.e. my dad) After they have all died and we are the only ones left, after all the times you blew my generation off and showed us you didn't care, do you think we will support you? Because there is a difference between the Baby Boomers and the children of Baby Boomers. MY generation carries grudges.

*end of rant*

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I'm sorry, but it appears that my karma ran over your dogma.

Mainly what I watched was Sesame Street and Arthur because I had nothing better to do. Other than that, I dislike PBS.

Around here, we have several channels from UNC (another univ on our system, and our biggest sports rival) in different areas. All they show is the stuff TSV pointed out. It's horrible. I've noticed as well that they only care about making babies anorexic and gay (note: i am not a homophobe, i'm just stating) whilst they rot their brains, and keeping old people halfway entertained. I will not support PBS any farther than NCSU's "fees" go.

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Sometimes it just takes two.