First post rules!

I slink off and try to act like nothing happened...

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

I'd have to hit the flush again to the point where there's hardly any water on the spot and wipe it off with a HUGE wad of TP. I'm shameful and there's nothing that would let me leave the skidmark for others to see.

I voted "Slink Away", since I've done it!

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Santa Caca!

Does walking away like nothing happened constiture "slinking"? If I couldn't then I would use the plunger to scrape it off. Failing that, get the water out of the bowl and use the bath mat.

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

I chose "not so discreetly tell the host", because I have done this.

"Hey Heather, I drew on your toilet with a poo crayon again!... Oh, I didn't know you had visitors!"

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I have seen the truth and it makes no sense!

Obviously the answer is to use any brush that comes to hand. The hosts toothbrush usually does the trick.

It varies on the host but if your at a mates house getting pissed up then you've got to anounce your work to everyone. If they won't get up to look at it then you take a picture on your phone to show them.

I would have to tp the mess, regardless of the dirty hand, and then wash it to a bloody stump.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

As all you old hands know, some toilets are far better designed than others - I voted to tell the owner to buy a new pan. Unless you have a serious problem, a well designed toilet bowl should be able to deal with almost any turd. There are ,of course, some people who can always wreck a good bowl. As CEP might probably agree, they tend to be pinko lefties with a vegetarian diet.

ThunderB.--You're right, of course. But I wasn't meaning giant turds that wouldn't go down. I was refering to "poo crayon" skid marks on the slope going into the water. Just to clarify.

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Santa Caca!

It's interesting to see people's different reactions here! For the better designed toilet, I'm all for it! There are some toilets I encounter that never stain, while there are others I often slink away from. While that's just one factor, it's still something to consider.

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Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

I used to ALWAYS leave my artwork on the home toilet when I was younger. This had to stop as Papa Northy bollocked me for leaving shit all over the sides of the toilet everytime I went. So I tend to clean up after myself at home :(

The host shouldn't mind. After all, shit happens. You're just leaving him/her/them an object lesson to prove it. But if in fact they do mind, stick your finger down your throat and vomit in their sink. They'll be so pissed about that they probably won't even notice the skid marks in the can.

I would reach in, grab the turd and write "BUY A TOILET BRUSH!"
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

Well, first of all, if I left a horrible skid mark, I wouldn't even try to get rid of it. I'd leave it there and walk out stifling hysterical laughter.

Also, I like Anomalous' suggestion about the vomit. I might do that as well, just for the hell of it.
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"Uugggghh...nnnrrrrAAaaaaarrrgg...*splash*...aaaahh."

Yet another conundrum, while my preferred choice was not there I answered nothing and am now about to post what I would have done. Firstly I would affix bright yellow caution tape in front of the washroom door, but instead of caution it would say "waarschuwen", which is Dutch for caution (I have a deal with a Dutch supplier). Next I would advise the host that the washroom is off limits and shall be sealed for no less than 6 months. During this time I will attend a university in Utrecht learning about modern artists, while perfecting my Dutch language skills. During this time I will dress entirely in black with a heavy woolen turtleneck (with a small nike swoosh on the right breast) and wear a small beret made of cheese, Freisekaas (the Dutch make lovely cheeses). Baring any unforseen delays I will return to the scene of the misfortune after serving no less than 2 months upon a Malaysian trading vessel while composing dark poetry about the possible mango famine in Senegal. As befitting a serious artiste I will assemble a retinue of flunkies, hangers on and reprobates to accompany me to the scene of the nasty happening, I shall take 2 black and white photographs of the destruction (using panchromatic sensitised Black & White film with medium speed ISO 100/21° and high speed ISO 400/27°), once the pictures are developed I will use them to scrub the residue of the stain off the toilet and shall offer them for sale at a minimum bid of $287,642.18, (plus 10% buyers premium) through Sothebys. After receiving the proceeds from the sale I will burn the check and completely tear assunder the pictures while raving "True art is not for sale".

...the hell...????
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"Uugggghh...nnnrrrrAAaaaaarrrgg...*splash*...aaaahh."

Or I might just slink away, depends.

I would clean my mess if there was a toilet brush handy. If there wasn't I would probably discretley tell the host.
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Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

Ok, no toilet brush, I would discretley tell the host.
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Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

In this case, i would stand up, scrounge up what little piss i have in me, flush the toilet until it's at the bottom of its cycle to where there is no water and piss right on the mark quite forcefully therefore removing it.

I've left skidmarks in peoples commodes many times and it aint no big deal to me, the way i figger if you leave the shitter alone long enough on the next flush the dook will be wet enough that it goes down on its own so for me if i leave a skidmark its just back to my bong and beer

Good God! Are people THAT anal retentive that they would reach into the bowl and wipe that mark away with toilet paper? Sigh sadly I guess so. I mean it IS in the toilet and eventually it will go away its not like you left a PILE of shit in the toilet. I wouldnt care if someone found my skidmark better they find it there than on my underwear or WORSE.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

I voted that I'd wipe the mark away with TP because I'd clean up ANY mess I made in someone else's house - I must be completely anally retentive. But due to previous toilet blocking experiences I'd have to be really desparate to go in someone else's house anyway.

!!!!!!!! poopcrayons!!!

i laugh my ass off!! nothin says lovin like a little porcelain art! until the next one appears...

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all aboard the farty train to pooterville..if you can't shit at my house, we aren't friends

My skids usually go down after a five minute "soak" and then a re-flush. Sometimes, however, my IBS explosions leave "spots" on the sides. These appear to be made of some industrial strength brown crazy glue or something. Unless the host was cleaning his jackhammer and left it in the tub, those spots will stay for days. Does anybody else have this problem?

Autograph it.

Has anyone done a poll on WHEN you leave skidmarks, possibly coordinating it with the Bristol Stool Scale? I just left a small skid on the porcelain here at home, and I estimate that the poop started out briefly as a 3, modulated to a 4 for most of it, and ended up as a brief 5. It was a good movement, filling the bottom of the bowl and coming up a short way toward the front. When I flushed, the marks were mostly at the upper end of the movement, the part that came out last as a 5. I sort of remember that, years ago, when I used to poop at about a 2 with the occasional 3 on that scale, I very rarely left skidmarks; but now, with my softer poop, it is more common to leave them. I don't mind them; if someone else sees one, it is a simple testimony to digestive success.

Skidmarks aren't so bad. Whats worse is dropping a load at somebody else's house and then finding out the toilet won't flush. This happened to me once before, and believe me, I would have gladly dealt with a skidmark there.

I always do a "test flush" before I crap in someones house. Although mine are usually accompanied with about half of Kimberly Clarks daily production and I wind up clogging anyway.

haha!! i do test flushes too!! sometimes my downstairs work bathroom has some plumbing problems and over flows...that's usually when i do it. or when i can't tell if it's a low flush toilet.

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all aboard the farty train to pooterville..if you can't shit at my house, we aren't friends

Postman is right. Once while renting an upstairs room and bath from an elderly lady, I was down in the kitchen fixing my supper and had to poop suddenly. Rather than running all the way upstairs, I went in to use her little half bath, dropped a load, and found that the flush mechanism didn't work. Fortunately, she was out of town for a couple of days, so I had time to find a bucket, fill it from the kitchen sink, and flush.

I chose call in other guests to admire my artwork since this has never occurred to me before. I have, in the past, dropped a bomb which was so freaking big that I called a friend or someone else in to see it. Never had a camera handy or else, I'd take pictures also.

I've never left skid marks in the toilet worthy, in my opinion, of being viewed by others. I'm sure, like anything else, it's only a matter of time. And when it happens, you can bet there will be an exhibition held.

Are there certain foods that can be eaten to assure that skid marks will be left? I figure turds with high grease content probably are what causes them to streak the turlet, so I may start experimenting with different fast food joints and see which offers the best "tool" for the job.

AC, try eating a few brown Magic Markers.

I've never left a skidmark, I guess because I poop floaters?

Anyways, if I did, it would depend very much on who's shitter I was shitting in. If it was one of my drunk buddies, I probably wouldn't even flush the toilet. On the other hand, if it was somone with a nice tidy bathroom I'd probably macguyver my way out of it somehow.

I always calls in my friends and roommates to admire my artwork and we all get a good laugh. I leave skid marks in the toilet all the time as my shit is so stiff that I always have to plunge which in turn leaves some nice markings.