$2 off when you do [3]?!)
The seven finalists:
The voting form follows the entries.
Entry #1: by AssBlaster2000
There once was a man from Kentucky
Who thought he could fart and get lucky
He thought he could hold it
But the smell quickly told it
That he had just made his underpants mucky.
Entry #2: by Shatty Cake
I dare say I was rather flustered.
After shamefully cutting the mustard,
To the toilet I booked,
And fearfully looked,
To find shorts that were full of brown custard.
Entry #3: by Pipe Nightmare
I heard some strange talk from my turds;
"Pfft, plop, ker-plunk" were their words.
I turned to talk, then,
To my new little friends,
But they drowned silent, unheard.
Entry #4: by Dung Daddy
Mom said "Son don't swallow your gum.
It'll plug up the hole in your bum."
She forgot 'bout the fiber,
that I have up inside there.
I shoot Dentyne like a machine gun
Entry #5: by Pipe Nightmare
Martin Luther had "95 Theses,"
And Darwin, his "Origin of Species,"
But all that I've got
Is contained in the pot
As butt nuggets, dirt snakes and feces.
Entry #6: by George Eliot Butterz
It hits the pan with a smack,
The remnants of last night's Big Mac;
Ses'me seeds in view -
What a monstrous poo
And for hours I'm pap'ring my crack.
Entry #7: by Crapola
There was a young girl from Bayonne
One day she sat down on her throne
She plopped on her rump
Downloaded a dump
And said, "All food is only on loan."
