We seem to have a lil problem in the dorm bathroom. There have been two occurences of abnormally large sized feces. We're talking HUGE!!! (we estimated 3 inches in diameter and 6 inches in length.) Seriously, who's sphincter is capable of this? What is the cause of such huge poop? I have to mention that i live in an all girls dorm so only girls use this bathroom. Can you shed any light on this matter? We are becoming very concerned for the health of this anonymous shitter. PLEASE HELP US!

Dear Kayla,

I find your question very intriguing. Normally, women don't produce such turds, so I have a couple of theories. (Of course there are exceptions, so don't everyone flame me. Just that USUALLY, we don't poop like that).

The first thing that comes to mind, is that one of the girls is sneaking a dude in the dorm for purposes of illict whatever.

The next thing that comes to mind, if you deem possibilty #1 impossible, is that one of the girls is actually a dude. Could happen. I just got done reading a book about this college professor (a dude) who had a sex change operation, and became a fairly normal looking girl. But I bet his BM's were still huge. No amount of surgery can change that.

If you don't think either of my theories is likely, you have to assume that these 2 instances were just the results of temporary dietary indulgences. What is more important, is planning what to do if you come across this rogue poo again.

I personally would photograph it, and post it in a prominent place in the bathroom with an embarrasing note about how big college girls flush their poo-poo, now that Mommy is not here to flush it for them.

That's what I would do. Good luck, and write again!

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse [1]

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility. Got a question [2] for her?