Most of us have probably experienced post-9/11 air travel: long lines for security checks; having to take your shoes off and your laptop out of the bag umpteen times for connecting flights; small, smelly airplanes; having your new suitcase ripped by bumbling baggage handlers; waiting three hours for said suitcase to emerge from baggage claim; flights being cancelled at the last minute because the airline you were supposed to use abruptly discontinued its service to your airport; walking thirteen miles to finally get to your gate; and dirty, dirty restrooms (I'm talking about you, Philadelphia!).

While airports and airline companies force us to accept the first seven items on the list as the new facts of life, they are [1] actually trying to do something about that last one [2].

According to USAtoday, airports across the United States are working to jazz up their restrooms for weary travelers. As one airport authority says, restroom cleanliness is "always one of the top five drivers of customer satisfaction." So while they repeatedly ignore the other four drivers, airports are improving the quality of their facilities by cleaning more often, and even by adding restroom attendants to their staff. Looking at a chart of the major airports' cleaning schedules [3], one can see that Atlanta and Fort Lauderdale are tops in that department, with cleanings every fifteen minutes during the day. (It's also very interesting to see a count of each airport's restrooms, toilets, and urinals.)

Personally, I like a clean place to shit as much as the next person; but this whole idea seems like putting a Band-Aid on a gaping flesh wound or (to pick a more PoopReport-appropriate metaphor) applying two squares of toilet paper to the aftermath of explosive diarrhea. Although not a frequent flyer myself, if I had to rate which "customer satisfaction driver" most negatively impacted my most recent airport experience, it would not have been the large pile of unflushed turds festering in the restroom near the baggage claim -- in fact, that provided myself and another traveler a good laugh. No, it would be the hours of my life wasted at inefficient security screenings, or maybe the gaping rip in my suitcase and the exploded bottle of sunscreen all over the inside of my bag. That's the real crap right there.