Just ask C. Everett Poop, our resident king of denial. He will tell you that not only do beautiful women not poop, but the idea alone is enough to crumble his worldview and strike fear into the heart of man.
Well, then, to C. Everett and his Minions of Skepticism, I say this: read no further.
Because last week, the unbelievable was cemented in the annals of Florida history. Nine contestants competing in the Miss Florida beauty pageant were hospitalized for symptoms of food poisoning -- namely nausea and diarrhea [1]. Two of the beauties stayed in the hospital for overnight to see if they would require further medical treatment. The cause of their intestinal discomfort has been suggested to be undercooked chicken eaten at a local airport [2].
Ironically enough, the eventual winner of the beauty pageant, Allison Kreiger, who was crowned July 8th, has stated [3] that her main goal in the next year will be to promote H.O.P.E., which stands for Helping Other People Eat. This is just too damned ridiculous of a coincidence -- any attempt at a witty remark escapes me at the current time.
My sincere, heartfelt apologies to CEP and his brethren. We can set up counseling for any traumatized male poopers in the forums, and I'm sure Dear Annus [4] will have extra operators on the hotlines for the next few days should anyone need to talk or chat. 