Dear Poopreport,
I love spicy food! The hotter, the better, I say -- but my butthole begs to differ. It can burn like hell up in there sometimes!!
It's odd because sometimes it REALLY burns and sometimes it doesn't. So I figure something I am eating just before or after eating my XXX Hotwings is determining whether or not I'm gonna shit fire. Bottom line: I want my food to be as pleasant coming out as it is going in. The ring of fire around my cornhole is gonna make me stop eating my favorite food! HELP ME PLEASE!!!