I am thankfull to finally have found a way to overcome my 16 year battle with IBS.
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Happy Holidays to all.

I'm thankful for friends that enjoy poop humor as much as I do....and for indoor plumbing, it's cold out there!!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

I'm thankful for my loved ones, and their health.

And for a deliciously massive Thanksgiving dump.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American pooper buddies, Dave, AB2K, Daphne, TBW, Dumpster, GGG, Fart Poopie, MotherLoad, Sam Damnit, TSV, PooperGal, LogJam and everyone I have failed to mention (even CEP and doniker...if they behave).

I'm thankful that Canada has their Thanksgiving in October.
Longer gap between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I'm also thankful for all of you. Well ALMOST all of you...
Happy Thxgiving all you Muricans.

Who you callin' a Murican? We haven't been Muricans since LBJ left for that Great Saddlesore in the Sky.

I'm thankful for a place to take a dump almost anywhere.I remember seeing a photo taken in Biloxi after Katrina.A woman was holding a child in her arm and another child was holding her hand.In the background you could see the rubble that was once their home.In the wreckage you can see a broken toilet.It makes you thankful for the little things.I hope Murph doesn't give his family a repeat performance.Happy Thanksgiving and if you overindulge I hope you don't get constipated.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.
I'm thankful for PR and for reaching my goal weight,finally.

Happy Too Much Food And Football Day to all my PR cohorts!

I'm thankful I recovered from flu and double pneumonia earlier this year.

In February, I could not talk without gasping for breath and had to shuffle at a crawl pace to keep my heart rate from going above 99 beats per minute.

Today I walked for an hour and a half up and down the steepest streets in San Francisco and it felt totally marvellous.

This year I found out that I dont have diabetes.

My 18 year old cat is still here.

I grew up eating real food and know how to cook it.

I have my own bathroom to poop in.

And clean water comes out of the tap--no need to walk down to a creek or to a pump--imagine doing that.

And unless they were rich, our great grandparents did not have indoor plumbing or indoor running water. Yet on this day they still sat down and gave thanks.

There is NOTHING that compares to a post Thanksgiving DUMP. NOTHING! Ahhhhhhhh I feel FIVE pounds lighter! Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Wow- this Thanksgiving will be the most memorable and the most thankful too. We were involved in a serious car accident today and escaped with minor injuries. The paramedics were so helpful with my lil' shitwit and poor mr. shitwit (who was driving), and with our unborn lil' shitwit #2. I'm thankful for the people who stopped and helped us.

And mostly I'm thankful that the nurse let me get out of bed to go take a dump across the hall. As I got desperate I could only think of the spectacular poop report I'd be making. Thankfully she came in the room just as I was breaking a sweat, and was cool about letting me go (all by myself even!).

Ofcourse I'm also thankful for poop report~ and those who contribute. Nowhere else can I talk about poop without raising eyebrows!

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

I give thanks for finding a way to take a pleasant shit.

I am glad that you are all ok shitwit. That in its self is something to be thankful for.
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A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

Since this is an open forum, it doesn't need to be only about giving thanks. So to begin the off-topic conversation: last night, with 26 members of my family hanging around the living room, my dad brought down his copy of The Journal of Ass Production #2. I expected bemused and disgusted stares from aunts and uncles, and maybe a few titters from my cousins... I guess I misjudged the family that spawned the guy who created PoopReport, because it was a huge hit. Suddenly people were paying attention to me, and not my cute four-month-old cousin. Take that, little Evan James! You may have more hair than me, but I'm more entertaining.

In other news, look what I just found on Amazon...

I know what I am buying.

See the impact you have Dave. Just a megar seven years ago, you could search high and low on the internet, and not come up with a website where talking about poop was ok. Many people were ass-shamed about pooping.

Since then, (I believe a good part of this site) people are becoming less humiliated about their bodily functions. This site has helped hundreds if not thousands of people to become shameless about their bodily functions.

Off topic now. I can't believe how nice the weather is up here in New England today. It is sunny and mild.
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A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

I'm thankful for coffee with pumpkin pie for breakfast on Friday! Mmmmmn...!

Here's my story from yesterday: Our kitchen is non-existent right now. So our neighbors down the street (with a girl GoGirlie's age) invited us to throw in with them. How nice!

I went over about 11:00 to start my pies, creamed corn, and stuffing. GoGirlie disappeared with her friend. GottaMan took GoBoy to the park. Neighbor man and neighbor boy were fussing with the sprinklers in the back yard, so Neighbor Wife and I were in the kitchen. Of course.

As I prepped, she puttered, finding her roasting pan, looking up her turkey-rub recipe, etc... We chatted about our families' Thanksgivings when we were growing up. It was pleasant.

Until she burned me.

She was making some sort of glaze for squash, when she pulled a bowl of MOLTEN butter and sugar out of the micro. She dropped it at our feet, and sugar LAVA and ceramic shards splashed EVERYWHERE, including my flip-flop exposed feet.

(I know. I know. I forgot. Closed shoes in the kitchen!)

We both started shouting for help, and Neighbor man came and helped us clean up. Then he and his son disappeared into the yard, and we resumed cooking.

Or... I resumed cooking. Neighbor wife had gone to change her shirt... but didn't come back.

For more than 2 hours, I was alone in a strange kitchen, cooking food, looking for utensils, etc... It was very weird. I texted GottaMan saying, "Get here!"

The girls turned up right about the same time as my menfolk, and I guess that roused Neighbor Wife. She came out, or rather, tottered out, smellin' like a distillery.

"Ah," I thought. "That's where she went."

Not that I blame her. There were any number of reasons that day to drink hard liquor at 11:30 a.m. But I felt a little weird being stuck in their kitchen all that time by myself. I'd figured she'd keep me company.

Oh, well. It was interesting, and it beat the hell out of Swanson dinners out of the microwave!

Haven't pooped, yet. Still waiting.

I'm glad you're all okay, Shitwit! Yikes.

Dave, if you hang out with that baby cousin a while, you could consider it poop research!

I like the reference to "the origin of the feces" and "Darwinian concept," in the Amazon.com description, Dave! lol

Maybe now is the time to go to grad school and get a master's in anthropology, with a focus on what fecal remains tell us about societies past and present. You already have the fixin's for a thesis on feces!

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PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

Dave, if you hang out with that baby cousin a while, you could consider it poop research!

That's *exactly* what my uncle said when the baby's diaper needed changing.

I politely declined.

This wasn't my best Thanksgiving ever. My chest has been congested with flem for a long time now and I'm getting irritated from it. But the food certainly was good. Fresh carrots, mashed potatoes, yams, and of course, a giant turkey.

I'm also thankful for life as we know it in general.

On to the off topic stuff, I hate my computer. It has this strange text size glitch. On 99% of websites, the text is down to a litterally impossible to read size. This even includes poopreport. I'm on a different computer account, so it's annoying. But what I hate the most is that my dad, who is a computer expert, can't do squat.

So anyway, happy Thanksgiving to all!(especially you, Murf!)

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Some are born crappy, some achieve crappiness, and some have crapiness thrusted upon them. (Do NOT be last one)

Did you try [Ctrl][+] in Firefox? That will increase the font size.

I love 4WD. I used one Thursday to pull stuff (a 2WD pickup and a pile of things) out of teh muddy yard where they had sunken into the ground. 'Twas awesome.

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[Insert witty banter here]

The Shitwits are alive. Healthy 1 has conquered IBS. What a wondeful Thanksgiving!

I too had a good day. I broke my leg on the 10th and had surgery last week. The pain drugs they gave me stopped my digestive system cold. Alas, the seven pounds of food I ate yesterday won out and today I went to the pot for an hour and unleashed a multi-flusher that probably threw the Earth off of its axis.

Yeah DD, I thought I felt something...

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[Insert witty banter here]

On a recent business trip a few days ago, I stopped at an interstate rest stop and walked into the mens' room to do #2. An older man was leaning up against the wall staring straight ahead at one of the two closed stalls. The other one was not occupied, and the door was open.

I jumped to the wrong conclusion, thinking he was waiting for the closed stall to open up and that something must be wrong with the other one. I even asked: "Is something wrong with that one?" as I passed.

"No," he replied, pointing to the closed stall. "I'm waiting for my granddaughter in there."

At which point, I shrugged, took the unused stall and proceeded to relieve myself. I did not see how old this granddaughter was because she finished long before I did. I did overhear her grandfather say, "Let's wash hands."

I assume this was a very small child whom he did not trust to go to the womens' bathroom by herself. And I guarantee you that the security guard outside would have come running if he had attempted to accompany her to the ladies' room.

We've discussed this issue before: who takes whom to which bathroom when children are very small. It's an interesting quandary, and there's no one right solution every time.

I think the grandfather handled it the right way.

OK well I'm thankful I was able to take another shit in public today. It was at the gym, and the little turds were nice and soft, even though my butt did not recognize the toilet as "Self", ie toilet at home or at a friend's/family.

My turkey was cooked a week in advance. I was able to enjoy a turkey sandwich at 10 am Thursday. (Turds-day?)

I am also thankful that I survived Black Friday at work.

I was invited to many people's houses for Thanks Giving. This was the first Thanks Giving that I did not celebrate, nor did any body else in the family. Due to recent deaths, we just couldn't celebrate.
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A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

In responding to The Big Wiper's last post, I am so glad that my daughter (now age 10) is brave enough to go to a public women's restroom alone and/or wait outside alone while I am in a public men's room.

I personally don't mind children of either sex in a public restroom while I am in there. They surely feel out of place more than I do.

And for the record I NEVER took my daughter into a women's public restroom...that is totally unacceptable in society's eyes; what a double standard though.
I guess it's OK for a little girl to accidently see a dude's pecker in the men's room but wrong if I accidently see an adult chick's private parts when I take my female child in the women's room.

Thanks everyone, for your concern. We are very greatful that it wasn't any worse. We went to the towing place to get some stuff out of the car earlier today (ok, yesterday now) and to take some pictures. Ugh... creepy. Lil' shitwit kept saying "mommy's car broken, time to buy new one" - very cute and sad all at once. We looked at replacement cars - holy sticker shock! For now I'll borrow my mom's car.

It's been very "moving" to read about other folks' holiday. Glad to hear that DD's bowels unleashed their cargo. I'm impressed that GGG could see the humor in her T-day events. Thanks for the entertainment, as always, Dave! It's encouraging to read about healthy 1's victories in the colonic battle. I'm happy that Flushie got to do some 4wheelin' and that cyanocobalamin's butt was cooperative.

Off topic, sorta, but I think I know what Log of Hazzard can do about text size. I had the same problem a few months ago with a few sites, but not all of them. If you use Internet Explorer 6.0 or whatever: go to View, click on text size, the menu you'll see gives you like 5 choices, select medium, and that should solve your text size problems. It worked on this tempermental new machine of ours after months of frustration, and hasn't been an issue since then. Give it a try, if you haven't already.

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

Doniker,
The "double standard" exists because it's generally accepted and understood that men are more likely to be sexual predators than are women, and that they are generally bigger and muscularly stronger and can rape and brutalize a woman more easily than vice versa.

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PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

I'm thankfull that I made it out in tact.

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

My daughter, DungDolly, is five and she has been going into the ladies room by herself - albeit with a parent right outside the door - for almost two years.

Heh. DungDolly. That's cute.

Thanksgiving I give for my friends on PR
No matter how odd to the world we all are.
I'm thankful for Dave and his vision and might
That thought up this one-of-a-kind fun web site.
For Daphne, who takes us all in a group hug
(The further her head gets up into the jug).
And I love TBW, for who else like him
Takes new Poopreporters and calmly guides them?
AssBlasterTwoThousand is one of a kind:
You will get along well if her rules you will mind!
And for dear TSV, and her sharp, caustic wit
That dispatches the dips who just think they know shit!
Bunga Din and SamDamnit and C. Everett Poop
Keep me somewhat within the political loop.
Di Uhreea and Wonderpance both come and go,
And when they're not here, then this site is so slow.
GottaGoGirl has a job you would hate:
It is to keep Dumpster (the wretch) on the straight.
So I'veGottaTellYou that she's not to blame
For those Dumpster postings that you would call lame.
I'm glad that Fart Poopie, who rules the Main Page
Has now joined the forums, where she is the rage.
But whatever happened to Slim Jim and Doc?
Could it be that they put PR stock into hock?
Oh, and last but not least there is Bilgepump the sober--
You'd better send all of your money to him, or it's over!

Happy Genocide Day!
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan
Join The Poop Reporter's Lounge

I had a great Thanksgiving here with Mom, Gilbert, Gordon, and my zoo. The toilets even behaved for the occasion! No clogging of these old lowflows, which I am going to replace and then enjoy running over the old ones with my truck!

Unfortunately, our refrigerator is broken. We stuck the whole turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and the like into the refrigerator only to come back the next morning and find that the inside of the thing was sixty two degrees. The freezer still works (so far!) but the refrigerator part is busted.

Thankfully for us, Mom's mother-in-law quarters is now on the property and the electricity is hooked up, meaning she has a brand new working refrigerator. So we are not SOL after all. (Except having Mom in charge of all the food on the property until we can afford a new refrigerator.)

The turkey went bad. REALLY bad. It has been a few days since we removed the thing from the bad refrigerator and it still smells in there.

Oh, and my truck is broken, too. Heats up like a volcano whenever I take it on the road. Piece of shit hates cold weather. It's funny, because it works perfectly find in 101 degree weather, but put it in 35 degrees and it overheats. Weird as hell!

Anyway, despite these problems, I have had a good holiday. I finally have some of those things I have always wished for (but never admitted because I had to keep my cool). A lifetime partner and a child. Life is good!

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If a man farts and no one's around, does he make a sound?

Thanks to all of you who make me laugh so hard with your stories and comments. This site is such a welcome place to go after a hard day. Thanks Dave!

What's so funny 'bout poop, love, and understanding?

Pantload: I wonder if Tina Turner should have sung, "What's Poop Got To Do With It?" instead?