My friend has a strange fetish. He likes smearing himself in poop when he is masturbating. Is this very strange or dangerous? He doesn't eat it, only smears it over himself. He is my best friend and thought he should tell me about this weird fetish, as he calls it.

Dear Dave (no, not that Dave),

Hello, and thanks for the visual!

Let's see...Strange? Definitely. Dangerous? Probably not, as long as it is his own poop and not someone else's.

The thing that is by far weirder is the fact that he confided this in you. I had a similar question before (See Finger-lickin' Good [1]) and there were a good variety of opinions of the subject.

Be careful when shaking hands is all I can say. And for the record, your friend might just want to discuss this fetish with a qualified professional in the mental health field, as this behavior may hinder him in the dating world. Although, maybe there are some folks who would go along with it -- the world IS a strange place, after all.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse [2]

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility. Got a question [3] for her?