You see, during the first half of 2006, China's airline industry lost three billion yuan -- roughly 383 million dollars. This has caused concern over fuel usage. And this concern has resulted in airline owners desperate to cut how much fuel is used per flight. Some have suggested making the planes lighter so that less fuel is needed to achieve lift and keep the aircraft at the desired altitude. The necessity of things like blankets, excessive carry-on luggage, and even full water tanks are being questioned. According to Captain Liu Zhiyuan, blankets and pillows alone require sixty tons of fuel daily to transport to their passengers' desired destinations. Magazines practically double that number.
Following that logic, China Southern Airlines has requested that passengers go to the bathroom before boarding [2]. "Attention in the boarding area: please dump the Cosby kids off early. Don't bring them along. Stop drinking coffee before the flight because we don't want your pee-pee!"
Why? Because, the Xinhua news agency reports, flushing an airline toilet uses roughly one quarter of a gallon of jet fuel. Each flush, in other words, consumes the amount of fuel that a decent economy car could use to travel six miles. And just like the cost of magazines and blankets, the cost per poop adds up.
I don't know how I feel about this. It costs enough to fly as it is; and often, flying sucks. It can be a cramped, bumpy experience. Your fellow passengers might be obnoxious or smelly. Why shouldn't I be able to pee on board? I'm paying for it!
This subject was discussed on one USAToday writer's blog [3]. One comment that outraged me almost as much as China Southern's suggestion was from a "professional flyer" named George who suggested [4] that the "periodical flyers" -- like us real people with kids, families, and yes, *gasp!*, luggage -- cause much of the mayhem involved with flying. For shame! How dare we need to go somewhere, especially since our children want to pee every four seconds! How dare we not be organized! Someone send this man the complete works of Erma Bombeck and quick, for he's in need of a reality check. Much of the flying community is on business. Much is not. The times I've flown, I've not worried about much more past getting two children from point A to point B quietly. By the way, seven of those flights were trans-Atlantic. And I'll pee as much as I like, thank you very much. I'd like see George give a ten-month-old a bottle while keeping a lively four-year-old busy and trying to feed all three of us at the same time, *quietly*. Baby, if that's not professional, I don't know what is.
Whether or not the pre-flight lizard-draining suggestion will be heeded remains to be seen. The airlines have their fingers crossed that our legs will do the same.