Rick asks: I am not fat, fat, but I am about 45 lbs overweight. I've had back surgery and now I find it hard to keep my ass clean after the poo. I am also poor and cannot afford a 145-1200$ bidet installed. What are my options? Thanks.

Dear Rick,

You're in luck! There is a device specifically designed with you in mind. It has been featured and mercilessly plugged on this site for quite some time. http://www.gobidet.com/index.html [1]

I believe it is about $100. There is a travel version that sells for $65, so if you wouldn't even shell out the $100 to destinkify your ass, perhaps you could make do with the cheaper one.

If even THAT is too much, there is always MintyAss [2].

But I believe you get what you pay for. Good luck with your ass!

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse [3]

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility. Got a question [4] for her?