Gots to be the cell phone addict. I really don't want to hear their conversation anytime, much less in the bathroom where, until you catch on to what's happening, it can be confusing as hell.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

I almost voted for the cell phone users.

As annoying as it is when someone talks on the phone in a public restroom, I'd rather they do that than masturbate loudly and ostentatiously. My kids are usually in there with me when I go to a public restroom. They don't need to hear some strange woman getting off in the next stall.

I voted for "trying to engage in conversation"

No, we are in our own little boxes and pretending the rest of the world doesn't exist! The other choices don't really require any participation on your part and may even help deflect attention or cover up any noise you may spew forth.

I like to believe in what little precious privacy I can imagine when I'm doin' the doo with a stranger next to me that KNOWS, and KNOWS that I KNOW, that they KNOW, (ad infinitum). Maybe my tag-line reflects that....

(Please tell me you guys know that I'm talking about the scene in the first Austin Powers, with Tom Arnold! If not, it's all been for naught!)

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'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

Coming in, slamming the door so that it shakes your stall. When you're sitting and bored and looking for feet or something visual you can attach to the noise, hearing a couple of big farts, perhaps a sigh! You expect to hear a butt hit the seat and see evidence of clothing being dropped. You see some pivoting of their shoes. Still see no clothing dropped or shoes that are indicative of a person being seated. Now the feet are in line, you hear and evacuation, splash and then a movement showing use of toilet paper. The party leaves, but the flush is missing. All you hear is the abrupt action in opening the door. When you're done, you go next door to see what happened. A squat shitter, who didn't lift the seat or flush. It just happened yesterday and a part of the person's "business card" remained on the side of the seat when I went back to the same company bathroom to pee three hours later.

I'll take cell phones for 200, Alex. I can't stand that! I'd never put anyone else thru that so why should I have to listen to your gossip??? I guess the only time I'd find a cell phone conversation in the stall next to me acceptable would be if the person was describing their poop in great detail to the person on the other end, and that person didn't want to hear about it, but the pooper just wouldn't give up. Then that would be pottty appropriate.

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

I can handle just about anything except you bastards boxing the clown right next to me...makes me pucker up all tight and stuff, can't get anything accomplished.

I didn't vote because I hate all of them.

I need everybody else to be quiet and just go about their business QUICKLY. Then finally leave the bathroom so I can finish up and exit the stall.

I voted for the cell phone user because my first choice wasn't up there.

I get really pissed off when people bring young children into the bathroom and aren't watching them closely.

I've had little Johnny/Janey pain-in-the-ass look up at me while I'm doing my business from under the connecting stall too many times.

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Holy skid marks Batman!

While listening to talking on the cell in the crapper was disturbing the first couple of times, I just decided to fight back by squeezing out the loudest fart possible. If I can't muster anything over a few decibels, I'll switch to flushing the toilet repeatedly.

If they're masturbating in the crapper, while I'm in there, I figure that their need trumps mine and I'll beat feet out of there. Fortunately, that hasn't happened too often.

It's amazing, how many sicko's want to strike up a conversation in the toilet. The last time this happened, I was at Lowe's with Lil DP (who was doing the crapping, not me, if you must know). This whack job asks about recessed ceiling lamps, as if I'm a registered electrician. I just ignored him. Freak.

I'm not so sensitive about it at the urinal, but when I'm taking a crap, I just want to quietly luxuriate in the moment. The only witticisms that should be coming out of me at that point, should be from my butt and not my mouth.

Besides, it's so impolite in the middle of a conversation to say "Pardon me, but I really must bear down on this turd. Could you hold that thought for a second please?"

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Deja Poo - Because this shit's so strange, it couldn't ever have happened before.

Me and a friend of mine will call each other while taking a crap sometimes and we will pretend to plan murders while talking on the phone. Its hilarious to see how quickly all conversation stops and people try to eavesdrop on our conversations. Then at some point he will ask if I have him on speaker phone i exclaim OH SHIT I DO I WILL CALL YOU BACK LATER. I then finish my business and exit the stall most of the time to find the bathroom has completely emptied out LOL.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

That makes me laugh, Thunderous! Now, I want to do this. I don't know about the murder, but maybe something like,
"Did you get the test results?"
"Yeah. It's what I feared."
"So, have many people do you have to call?"
"23 that I can think of. Some of my regular clients still insist on condoms, or it's be worse."
"Rash?"
"God yes. And the scabs."
"Sorry to hear it."
"Me too. How am I going to pay for Ray-Ray's hormone shots now?"

And so on. All on speaker phone. Of course, it wouldn't be so funny were there to be kids in the restroom, but otherwise, a sister can dream.........

Oh, I voted for someone trying to start a conversation with me because I think it's just a bit creepy. However, were there to be an option for Little Kids of the Opposite Sex Peeking in the Crack Between the Door and the Stall Partition, I'd have chosen that. If you bring your little boy into the Ladies' Room, please teach him the concept of respecting privacy. I like to say "Hey! Are you watching me pee, little boy?!" loudly. It never fails to make me laugh when the mother takes offense to it!

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I voted for cell phone because that's the most annoying thing I normally encounter. Incredible how people can sit there in clouds of other peoples butt gas, farts bursting all about them, their pants around their ankles, and leisurely yakking away about whatever. Me, I want to do my business and get out there as soon as I can. I've never encountered wankers but had I, then noisy masturbation would definitely be the most disturbing behavior. That would cause me to flee in all but the most dire pooping emergency.

I voted for someone trying to engage me in conversation. The bathroom is one room I really prefer to work alone. I loved Deja Poo's suggestion, above, about what to say to the talker. Straight out of Miss Manners, that one!

I can't say that I've ever been in the kind of restroom where someone would be masturbating. Or maybe I'm just not very observant....

I would have to say trying to strike up conversation. I was in a cinema last year sitting down and having a fantastic dump, I could feel the popcorn working its way through and the chap next to me said "excuse me but what was the name of the film where Angelina Jolie was in that mental hospital?" That's something I can well do without.

I hate when people try to strike up conversations while I'm in a neighboring stall. However, I must admit that it doesn't happen too often in the ladies' room as we are in there for both sides of business.

Daphne, I agree with you about the peeping toms. My son is 4 now, and I always have to remind him, "no peeking!" the second I see him start to move into a squat.

The funniest (and sometimes embarassing) times are when he becomes my personal cheering section in a busy bathroom. Or when he takes on the role of body function commentator. I'll be glad when he can be trusted to go to the mens' room by himself!

That's funny. He cheers you on? You should get him some pompoms!

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I work with a guy who will talk your ear off if he's in the next stall. Really annoying. Taking a dump is something that should be private, even in a public bathroom. Cell phone usage is my second choice. There ought to be a law.

What bothered me about this question was putting the terms "habit" and "masturbation" in the same sentence. Aside from that adventure in psychoses, I think the cell phone user is annoying. Although you usually cannot control the exit sounds, you can leave the cell phone at the desk or turned off.

I really had a dough time making a decision on this poll. I picked the loud I pod.

Runner up would be having part of the person / clothing, encroaching my stall (stay in your own damn space).

Third pace would go to loud masturbation. There is a time and place for every thing, and the last thing I want to hear is someone snapping their carrot just inches away from my half clothed body *squirming in my seat*.
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"Thunder in March betokens a fruitfull year" .Or is it "Thunder in March, frost in June"?

My problem is definitely the mobile 'phone.

Let's see, I think I've come across pretty much every other pet peeve on the list, save for the masturbation, although I did see two chaps coming out of a toilet stall and doing up their trousers and shirts, so some other occupants were doubtless treated to the sounds of shagging - and this was in Leeds Railway Station in Yorkshire, England!

I don't think anything bothers me as much as people on a cellphone in a toilet stall. I once thought someone was trying to start a conversation with me, and when I replied, I realized he was talking into his mobile. I felt such an idiot.

I didn't vote for a few of them because I have never (thank god!) had the experience. Women seem to be more polite when it comes to things like masturbation, MP3s, or body parts sticking into your stall.

Excessive farting doesn't bother me in the least. If I were to vote for that I'd be a hypocrite.

The two most annoying problems I have encountered in a public bathroom are those who try to talk to you while you shit and those yuppy bitches on their cell phones. I voted for the latter because it happens why more often than the other.

What is it about women and cell phones? I am a woman and I don't need to be on the phone that much! It doesn't bother me as much when they have something to say, like business talk or asking what the family wants from the store. But these women talk about NOTHING!!! And they almost literally wear their phone wherever they go: in the bathroom, at the table in a restaurant, walking, driving. I haven't noticed this problem as much with men or I would mention it as a unisex problem.

Cell phone users are the reason I implement one of the above annoying habits: loud and excessive farting.

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If a man farts and no one's around, does he make a sound?

ANNOYING habit...I'm beyond that. Last week I was taking a three-day poop at a highway rest stop. There were four stalls. I normally use the first because there's 50% more privacy but I didn't because there was some urine on the seat. I used the second. About 30 seconds after sitting down just as my bowels started to move I had to immediately jump up when two little boys came running into the stall next to mine and started peeing randomly all over the place. I had my shorts on and some of it got on my right leg, foot and sandals. They were playing around and one joked about pulling up the seat and then you could hear him literally dropping it into the urine steam of the other boy, who I suspect might have been his brother. By the time I wiped myself off and repositioned myself on the seat, I had a hard time resuming my shit. Also, some had gotten on my unwear when I had to move so suddenly. When I went back outside, their "mother" was sitting on a park bench smoking while the two boys (they looked about six or seven) were running around out of control. I probably should have said something but didn't. It would have been nice if she would have come in and been FORCED to sit in the mess they made. I now prefer the permanent stall partitions that are built into the floor. It would sure make it a lot easier in such situations.

As a mother who's had to deal with unruly children in many situations that weren't mine (military life), I have a way of handling little kids like this.

I ignore the parent and address the children, firmly without yelling and correct them if they've done something really nasty. Not that I've ever been in this situation - but were I to be, I'd address the kids outside and tell them to come back in and wipe up their mess without talking to the mother. This usually gets the mother irritated, at which point she never fails to ask what's going on. And then she usually says something like, "You need to speak to me."

And it is at this point I say, "Oh, they were unattended. And if they are unattended, I address them. If you would like to be informed, maybe you should be supervising them."

I've done this quite a few times over the years, and it works well. It takes alot of nerve for a woman to get upset about what her kid's doing when she's not watching (this goes for the dads, too), and most often, they realize how stupid they sound when protesting.

So, yeah. It's a great way to get your point across. Sorry about your legs. Ew.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Man, Daphne! I'm going to use that one! Thanks.

Skidmark Joe: the film in which Angelina Jolie is in the hospital is, of course, "Girl, Interrupted." It might have given you the perfect retort for your stallmate's question, and then add: "As in Crap, Interrupted, which you're causing me to have right now!"

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Great comeback TBW... And good advice Daphne-- I probably would have been so pissed at the unattentiveness of the parent that I wouldn't be so calm and collected.

OK, I just had to chyme in again after seeing so many "cell phone" votes. Does this happen often? Maybe it's becuase I've never encountered this, but this seems to be too common an occurance for others! This is very disturbing to me because-- are these people not caring if their converstaion mate is hearing them empty theirselves? (I mean, I've done this at home with close friends or family, but not in public and only number one) but, don't they know they are exposing OTHER'S "business" to people they don't know? That's just rude to do to the other's that need to use the bathroom, and downright "stage-fright" inducing! Never mind the nuisance of innane chatter-- It's one thing to have to have a stranger hear us piss or shit, does the person on the cell-phone need to, too? Meh! (Cheers to those who make a concerted effort to raise thier own decibel level to get back at these people!)

I would be irritated and disgusted if the phone call was of no emergency/importance. Jeez, can't your babble wait one minute? I'll make an exception for a dire situation....

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'Hey that sounds pretty nasty, how about a courtesy flush over there?' (AP1)

ROFLMAO. "Chyme in."

Chyme in, chyme out. Hahahahahah!

I was driving cross country to visit my girlfriend. I ended up going about 20 miles farther than I should instead of stopping, but when I stopped at a rest stop on I-80 in far eastern Iowa I headed into an open stall bathroom. Open stalls are not my favorite, but...my choices were limited. I could readily see dropped pants in the farthest of the three stalls, so I turned to use the first. I was about to pull down my jeans but stopped in my tracks when I saw a girl (couldn't have been older than four)trying to throw herself up on the seat while she peed down on the front of the stool and into her shorts. She was frustrated and protested me at first intervening. However, I picked her up, spread her legs so she could balance herself more effectively, and I grabbed some toilet paper off the roll and put it down to help soak up the urine on the floor. I then went into the stall next door, put down the seat and took one very fast, satisfying dump. About three or four minutes later after I wiped and flushed, the little girl was sitting on the front of the stool crying because she had made the mess. When I was talking to her, her father came out of the other stall and appeared to be hostile that I was "disturbing" her and said that making mistakes on her own was part of the learning process for her to be able to go on her own at school the following month. I can surely sympathize with Maggie, and I assume others, who have to put up with unsupervised kids in public restrooms. They seem to bring nothing but trouble to those of us who just want to do our thing and leave without some level of conflict. Is that too much to ask????

It would have been tempting to ask that idiot how he would feel about a little call to CPS because he had left his kid in an open stall men's room while he was doing his own thing. He didn't even have the decency to stand in front of her stall? You could have been a pedophile! (not that you are)

Nice.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Ah, the hell with the phone... I would be more annoyed, even creeped out, if someone were beatin' on the ding dong in the stall next to me. As the old stall-wall phrase goes, "This is a place to relieve your gut, not a place to beat your nut. So come on in and have a seat, but don't intend to beat your meat."

As for "Dry Shoes Ryan"... I wouldn't have touched that girl. If someone were to see you pick her up and put her on the seat, they could have taken it the wrong way.

A couple years back in Evanston, Illinois, they made an example out of a man named Fitzroy Barnaby: when a 14-year-old girl ran out in front of his car, he got out, grabbed her by the arm, and scolded her. For that, THEY MADE HIM REGISTER AS A SEX OFFENDER.

We're living in the age where a person would do better to allow a child to get hurt/killed, rather than be labeled a sex offender -- for acting in loco parentis, saving them from imminent death or serious bodily injury, when their parents were somewhere else, whacking off or something.

May I change my vote? Well, no. I voted that the ostentatious masturbation would be the worst. I think that still would be. I hope never to find out.

I'd also like to jump onto the "little kids" bandwagon. I have kids, so I understand the challenges of bathrooming them and bathrooming with them.

But a few days ago, I was at work and went to check the Ladies' room. Both stalls were occupied. I recognized the distinctive handbag of one customer, hanging from the TP dispenser, showing under the door. She'd gone down the hall quite some time before, I remembered.

Then I think I figured out why. In the handicapped stall was a mother and child, the mother evidently using the facilities herself, and her child loose in the box.

The kid was rambling loudly, "Mommy! Who's in there? Is that a lady? What's that smell? Are you pooping? Is the lady pooping? What's her name? Well, what's she doing? Is she done? Are you done?..."

All the while the mother was trying to shush the kid, and there was silence from the other stall. Poor lady was probably trying to take a dump and couldn't because of the running commentary.

"Mommy! Did you hear that plop? Was that the lady? Did she poop? Does it stink? Will she wipe?..."

In addition to changing tables, it might be nice if public bathrooms handed out muzzles.

I may be only 15 but I don't see any reason why I shouldn't help another child who is alone and having difficulty using a public bathroom. Just last week at the mall, I was on the stool doing a #2 when a little boy about 4 or 5 barged in on me (sorry--but my mistake for not fully latching the door, but I was fearful of shitting my pants)knocking the door into my knee and crying that he had to poop "real bad!"

I got up, and without even flushing, allowed him to get up on the stool so that he wouldn't have an accident. As he pushed to get his stool out, he ended up jumping off the seat and peeing a little onto his warmups. Like Dry Shoes Ryan, I showed him how to sit back farther on the toilet and to point his penis into the front of the bowl so he wouldn't waterlog himself.

He seemed somewhat appreciative, but continued to cry, even as he took his pretty sufficient crap. I gave him some toilet paper off the roll to dry his eyes. He got up and started pulling his underwear and sweats up, but I pulled off a good amount of toilet paper and showed him how to wipe. He seemed to get the hang of it but I don't think he got himself as clean as he could have. Then he turned around, put his penis over the front of the bowl and started to pee, but his aim was so bad it started to squirt on the seat.

Carefully, without touching his penis, I showed him how to keep it under control by putting both hands on it. He seemed okey with that and then I pointed him to sinks, while I prepared to wipe the seat off and then sit back down. At that point, his mother came out of a nearby stall and was quite appreciative of my helping him. I felt good to do it and I've had experience before with the kids I regularly babysit.

Although I'm no longer in girl scouts, I see it as a good dead. However, my best friend, when she came out of another stall and saw me helping him, said I could have been labeled a "pervert". Since his mother wasn't immediately available to help him, I just didn't see too many alternatives he would have. Both the stools and kids get messed up if they are not supervised under such situations. What the next woman would have sit in would not have been pleasant!

So the mom was within hearing distance and didn't say anything to him when he was crying before the incident? No "It's okay, Son. I'll be out to help you in a second!"?

And she didn't say anything when she heard you helping him? Nothing like, "Oh, you don't have to!" or "Thank you so much for helping over there! I'm a little busy in here!"? Nothing???

Odd.

I've never had any of these happen to me.

Obtrusive mobile phonies are annoying, but that applies anywhere (not that the other activities would be any more acceptable outside the shithouse).

Anal vocalisations are par for the course (though i sometimes find it hard to not snicker).

Conversation? I'm just odd enough to jump right in.

I wouldn't care about discrete masturbation, but i suspect that a noisy session would be annoying. If it was a gal (or if i was gay or bi), i'd probably enjoy it (and likely follow suit). But since i'm straight, and it's highly improbable, in our fucked up world, that a member of the opposite gender will be in the next vestibule de merde, i voted that way.
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Happy crapping, with no tommy slapping!(_o_)

mastrabation don't laugh it's happened the guy next to me was beating his dick like it owed him childsupport

LP - 'like it owed him child support' - I almost shit myself!

I felt the need to perform just a little political commentary on the state of affairs in this world.

Dry Shoes Ryan (ass-umed male) comments that he once helped a child out in what could have been a pretty traumatic situation. Follow up to his comment was 'You might have been labeled as a pervert!'

Adele (ass-umedly female) commented on the exact reverse gender situation and nobody comments that SHE may have been labeled as a pervert!?!

I'm not making any ass-umptions here that either DS Ryan or Adele are or are not perverts when it comes to young children. What I'm saying is that today's societal rules allow a woman to help a male child without threat of labeling, but when the opposite occurs, we throw the word 'pervert' around with blatant disregard for the fact that this human being made an honestly genuine, caring gesture towards another human being to prevent the trauma that may have haunted them for years.

21-bun salute, Dry Shoes Ryan - it seems you've got a decent grasp on humanity.

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Droppin' the deuce since 1980.....

If a parent is two or three stalls down from their young child, as far as I'm concerned the child is UNSUPERVISED! The parent needs to be in the stall or in front of the stall while the child uses it. NO EXCUSES! I've seen too many young children sit in someone else's urine, even balance themselves with their hands on the dirty seat, and sometimes, with food and drink as part of learning to be "independent" in using a public bathroom. It's foolish and a form of child neglect. My daughter is 5, she comes into the stall with me, and never leaves my sight. When I'm done, I prepare the stall for her (putting paper down, etc.), she gets up does her thing, and I give her additional pointers (today: putting toilet paper over the flusher before she touches it). These are lifeskills that will serve her well in the fall when she starts school. I then watched her as she washed her hands and we exited the bathroom together. Too many times, proper hygiene and skills that should have been learned at this age aren't and I have to believe that accounts for older children--even teenagers--with really filthy bathroom habits. For example, I've directed my daughter away from a toilet with urine over much of the seat. While we're in the adjacent stall a teenager comes in and sits directly in it. And leaves without flushing or washing her hands. There was a missed opportunity for parenting/supervision several years ago! I may be more alert than some others, but I do pay attention to what's happening in adjacent stalls. It's not all good news!

Hawking Mother will probably disagree but I see nothing wrong with me using one stall and while I'm on the toilet, allowing my four-year-old daughter to use an adjacent stall alone. Although Kaydence often doesn't have to go, she loves to try and get up on the stool and convince me that she's a big girl now and can go on her own. I don't see any harm in her "peeing" or "pooping" while I'm in the adjacent stall. It also causes her to divert some of her great energies and not just be running around the bathroom and getting into trouble. I do agree with Hawking Mother on the fact that too many parents are negligent when it comes to supervising children--especially the youngest--in public restrooms.

I'm not about to allow my daughter who is 4 1/2 to play/sit/whatever term you want to use, on a public toilet..period. First, I require that she actually has to go. Secondly, I put toilet paper over the seat and see that she learns some basic cleanliness such as keeping her hands off the seat or bowl. (She has been corrected for touchng both because she's small for her age and doesn't have a lot of confidence in in balance). Public bathrooms are not places for "play" for bored children. Responsibility and cleanliness need to be taught at an early age; unfortunately, I know many parents fail to do this.

I'm from the outside looking in. I'm 15 years out of high school and working for a marketing company that does fund-raisers for school groups. I'm in at least two middle schools or high schools a day and I would vote for cell phones being the most annoying habit.
A couple of days ago I was in a multi-stall bathroom taking a leisurely poop with a half hour to kill before I made a presentation to a sports booster club. A girl--very immature, so should I assume she was a freshman?--came slamming into the stall to the left of me. She was latching the door and answering her cell phone at the same time she was dropping her jeans to sit down.

She cussed a couple of times in talking to one of her friends and I could hear her urine flow start in the bowl. She cursed, put her friend on hold, and then took a call from her mom that basically went like this:

"Where have you been..I've been waiting for 45 ******* minutes. I said the north side of the building...I'm never on the southside, duh! I'm down in the 300 wing. I'm in the ******* bathroom peeing. Here you want to hear (she apparently put the cell phone between her legs so mom could hear the pee)so you don't think I'm with Mark giving him ****. I'll be right out..love you!"

She then takes off without flushing or washing her hands (that would have been hard because yet another call came in before she exited the stall).

I feel from a perspective of a 33-year-old woman (without children, thankfully) that cell phones should be banned inside the school. I can't help but think they make routine tasks such as bathroom breaks more hostile and they sure don't give a good impression of the school. The class of '92 got along without them fine!

Outside Looking In...how gross of that girl to put her cell phone down between her legs to allow her mother to hear her pee! She seemed very hostile BUT I'm perplexed as to why she would go from all the cussing and being so defensive to the final "I love you." So much initial anger and range of emotions. I wonder what she would have unloaded on a teacher if a teacher was standing outside the stall and took issue with her language, failure to flush or wash her hands. I'm even more surprised that a parent would allow a teenager--apparently 14 or 15 and too young to drive--to talk to them like that. If it would have been my daughter, the first thing I would have done when she got in the car is seized the cell phone. Yes, my cell has gone off when I've been in public bathrooms before but that's a no-answer zone for me!

| I'm perplexed as to why she would go from all the cussing and being so defensive to the final "I love you."

Pretense. A little guilt trip to help her get away with the bullshit. "I can't come down on her; she loves me." She's a manipulator. And her mother is pushover—which, no doubt, contributed to her daughter's pathological spoiledness. I suspect that substances are involved, too.

That passage reminds me, remarkably, of someone that i once had the displeasure of knowing (the niece of a (praise the Lord) former girlfriend). She was (is?) shallow, with a steamroller, personality, and was allowed to get away damned near anything. Then she got into meth. :| (She did flush, though).

(On a brighter note, i saw her in passing a couple of years later, and she had a healthier look to her; so, maybe, she managed to clean up her act some. I didn't speak to her, though; i wasn't up for the resulting frustration that i've come to expect.)

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Happy crapping! (_o_)

Regarding Outside Looking In's report: Putting the phone down toward the stool so her mom could hear her pee seems to be a pretty angry action on the part of the girl. I don't know if I ever would have thought of that if I were in her situation. I do remember once, however, when I was younger than that and I HATED long drives in the car, I would say I had to pee even when I didn't just so we could have a break in the monotony that really sucked. Once mom came up to my stall at an Interstate rest stop in Texas and started to quiz me as to whether I was "producing" or just wasting more of "Dad's time" (he was driving to another state to do a job interview). I jolted the door open for her just in time so she could see and hear me get my flow going. Her response was: "Remember to wash your hands, Rebecca." She had used the stall next to me and I DIDN'T hear her put any paper over the seat before sitting down, any waste hitting the water, but she DID wash her hands. Being confrontational just wasn't or even now isn't my style.

I think Outside Looking In was pissed because she had to pee, her mom went to the wrong door, she was now sick of waiting and was about the pee her pants when she finally gave in and went to the school bathroom. SEVERAL times this year I've been in that situation. I would like to hold it until I get home, but mom or dad is late (yes, they often get mixed up on their directions, too!) and come to the wrong entrance. When I'm carrying my gym bag and instrument and regular book bag, I don't appreciate having to drag them across the building when it would be much easier for my ride to come to the loading dock area. Just last week, they were late and made the mistake of coming to the wrong entrance. At 4:30 p.m. I was worried that I wasn't going to make it without an accident so I finally found a restroom, sat down and peed. I hate having to use the toilets at school when I'm going to be home in five minutes but I had no alternative. When dad asked why I wasn't immediately there, I made up a story about having to go back to the music room and get something from my locker. They try and so do I! But the school toilets don't help!

I sure wouldn't care if the person in the next stall were talking on their cell phone or playing loud music. That would give me more privacy in case I was farting a lot. That leads me to my other point: What is meant by "excessive and deliberate farting." The long and short of it is, when you have to poop, you can't (nor should you )control if--or how much--you are going to fart. It's this fear of people who are offended by huge farts from the next stall that turn so many people into "shameful shitters."

When Evelyn runs away in tears, and leaves me hanging out in the glory hole.
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SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

_SamDamnit, you crack me up! ______
Press on warts, who would buy those? -Well, hags mostly.

The bathroom is the expelling waste, people. Not a phonebooth,nor music den, nor coversation pit, nor for the tossing-off of one's self( have these people never heard of a bedroom) or at least their bathroom at home. Why would you do that out in public? I think as a woman I would have a hard time pleasing myself in a stall. Let's hear from the men.....Is this a common practice in men's stalls?
Producing waste since 1967

In coming home from college last December, we stopped at a Greyhound station and we had about a 15 minute layover. I had to crap....by now pretty bad...but the bus toilet was gross and I would have needed a mop to wipe off the seat because so many young boys just pissed right over it. I would have thought some of them would have gotten a splash back since there was yellow pee on the wall and even behind the toilet. I left my travel possessions on the bus, and went directly into the terminal, into the ladies room, to get my crap over with. Four stalls, two with doors, two open. Actually 31/2 stalls is probably the best calculation because one didn't have a seat. Did someone need it at home? Anyway I chose the far corner stall. Safe choice, wall on one side and open stall on other side that only a fool would use. I remembered that I had wanted to remember the Kleenex I carry in my purse with which to wipe off the seat. But, because time was of the essence, I pulled my jeans down, lowered my thong and placed my butt on the not so certain seat with the certainty that I wouldn't be there long. My crap started to come instantly, but not before I noticed a hole in the partition and an eye on me from the adjacent stall. It was open and I swear no one was occupying it when I came in. At first I moved back on the seat to get out of eye range of the peeper, but just as my BM was coming, I moved forward and spread my legs a little more to get it out. In doing so I leaned forward as far as I could and attempted to get a look at the person's feet, bag, whatever. No go, but I completely filled the bowl and probably took a couple of pounds off my weight. I was a little more self-conscious as I stood to wipe (and I had a lot of work to do because as my boyfriend has suggested, I carry a rather large bush)and this evacuation was both fast and messy. Again, there was no noise, movement, anything from the "Stall Stranger" other than the occasional eyeball. For some reason (perhaps too stereotypical) I thought it could be a bag lady or even some pervert. Bus terminals are synonymous with low-rent districts. I knew I had used up at least 10 minutes and had to hustle back to the bus. I got my jeans back up, took one last look at the peepholde as I reached down at the flusher and found nothing. I flushed and slowly walked by the stall on my way to the sink. It was what I believe the media calls a tween who had her pants down all the way and seemed bored and probably quite constipated. As I washed my hands, her mom came and started yelling at her about how they were going to miss their connecting bus. Why she selected the open stall I don't know. Why I'm more suspicious of an open stall user than a person that selects the privacy of a door I don't know. I do know that I'm taking Abnormal Psychology this fall.

MSS - you want an honest answer? Common practice? No, I don't think so. Have I ever done it? Three times in a lot of years using a work stall when no-one was in at all (and I claim provocation all three times!!) - but not in the last ten years.

Thanks, Hamster. I will file this nugget.
Producing waste since 1967

I just remembered what use to chap my ass (figuratively, not literally) about people in the next stall when I was working: I heard nothing or smelled nothing that gave any indication that the person was pooping, or even trying to poop. All I heard was them turning the pages of a magazine or newspaper. It was pretty obvious to me that they were just killing time instead of working.

turdfan, I'm shocked! People do this at work? No, this can't be.
Producing waste since 1967

So Jocelyn, with all her prejudices and stereoptypes about downtown clientele, calls those that use an open stall in a place such as a bus station a "fool"! When the other stalls are taken (and she said one stall had no seat) and a person has to pee or shit pretty fast in order to make their connection, I will/have/will continue to occasionally use the open stall. First, it is going to be faster. Second, it is going to be cleaner because the first place for the others' butts will likely be the doored stalls. Third, there will probably be more toilet paper since the stall is receiving less use. Fourth, regarding the hole in the partition, it's probably only human nature to see if it's drilled all the way through--don't rag on the young girl for that. As long as she's not being obtrusive with continuous monitoring I see nothing wrong with it. Children, especially when they are constipated and just sitting on the toilet, can be bored. It's not a crime. By your own admission, Jocelyn, you went into the bathroom on the bus and were unable/not wanting to go. Don't blame others for your inadbility to produce in the toilet on the bus. Hopefully, you'll find the answers to your hang-ups this next semester in your Abnormal Psychology class.

I didn't vote. All of these except the farting piss me off. I'm also, though, terribly embarassed when I'm in a stall and my phone rings - so much, in fact, that I've started turning it off before I go into a public restroom.

I've heard guys whacking off in the next stall. And from what little I could gather, these were not hormone-crazed teens, but full-grown men. Dude, can't you think of a slightly more arousing setting? Do you really have to give yourself a hand *right now*? If I encounter this, I'm not afraid to (after I leave the stall) say something, loud enough for others to hear, about how disgusting that was. Jerking off in the privacy of your own home = fine. Jerking off where no one can see or hear you = do what you gotta do. Jerking off in one of a number of stalls in a public restroom = I will laugh at you. Alt. version I've seen on stall walls: "This is a teepee where you peepee, not a wigwam where you beat your tomtom".

I had a GUY, an adult, peek over a stall wall at me once. I looked up, and he ducked down. A few minutes later, I looked up and he hid again. From the clothing I saw on the floor when I leaned down (I was in the big handicrapper, he was in the next regular stall, so I had a good view of his floor area without being seen) I not only figured he was only partially-clothed, but had a pretty good idea of what he was wearing. I told security at the desk, which was just outside the restroom. To add more creep factor, I didn't see him come out, and when I accompanied security in again, his stall was empty. I can't explain it. If that happened to me today, I might just pound on the stall wall, or loudly tell someone waiting for a stall that there was some pervert in there peeking at people. Yuck. I swing that way, but I DON'T swing that fetish. Keep your eyes on your business, not on mine. Jerking off in the next stall = I'll laugh at you. Peeking on me, if you're a kid = grow up. Adult doing the same = fuck off, asshole.

As for gabbing on the phone, I agree. Fart, or make your wettest fake fart noises. If you can do neither, flush repeatedly. I'm 90% sure whoever's on the other end has no idea what you're really doing while on the phone, and wouldn't approve if they did. Even for the "my office is everywhere, because I'm a busy man" types need to learn this: Even if YOU don't feel chatting away is invading your privacy, it's invading mine. I'm pretty shameless, but this is just annoying.

End rant.
~ Jake

It was a tie between the last two. Honestly, I have only encountered the cell phone one.

I voted on clothing or body parts encroaching, but they are all bad.
Cell phone users, you can mess with them by screaming descriptions of your bio-product.
If someone's playing 'left-handed hackysack', I don't want to know.
MP3 players? Sing along and screw up the words on purpose. Ask if they take requests. Over and over again.
Conversation? Change the subject at random in midsentence.
Loud farting? Who doesn't know how to make fart noises with their wet hand over the mouth? If they won't stop, overpower them with special effects.

_______
You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

Actually I find it annoying when they do what they are there for, take a shit. My shit has an aroma which does not bother me but the shit of others smells like....
..........hmmm.......shit

Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Actually nothing bothers me.....well if the person next door is trying to do the final wiring of a pipe bomb while on the shitter, that does bother me. Tends to tighten up the ol' bung, especially if they ask me what the red wire attaches to. Fortunately it doesn't happen often.

Reading some of the earlier postings, including Jocelyn's from 07.17.07, got me thinking that I have seen an increase of school-age girls ... whom she refers to as "tweens" ... using open stall toilets. She said she's more suspicious of the open-stall user than the person who selects a more conventional stall with a privacy door.

Twice this past week I've been out with my 8-year-old daughter and she's asked me about a couple of girls who we've seen sitting on an open-stall toilet and seeming totally oblivious to the others using the facilities. Skye sees it as "gross" and embarrassing, but I've explained it to her that the girls probably had an emergency which could not wait for one of the doored stalls. However, she noted that both of the girls were still sitting there after we finished up down the aisle of toilets and walked by the leave.

Beyond that, I told her that Mom doesn't have an explanation.

Perhaps the little darlings are
cornstipated.

Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

As a female, I can't say I've knowingly dealt with anyone masturbating in a public bathroom. That would be just gross.

I've dealt with little Johnny peering underneath the stall while I was changing my plug once. I wrote about this one in the forums.

I also hate it when people won't give a courtesy flush. I usually won't say anything unless it's particularly noxious, though. After all, that's why they are there.

Still, yakking on a cell phone is high on my list of annoyances~ even when someone isn't on the crapper. People are so rude with them in restaurants, movie houses, at work and in college classes. Even more annoying is if they have it on speaker phone. Hmmm. I never thought about singing or flushing the toilet several times. I'll have to give that one a try.

My sons are 7, 9 & 12. They have asked the exact same question of me that was asked of Aimee. The best I can come up with is that those who linger in the open stalls are probably afraid of getting locked in if they were to use one of the regular stalls. When my youngest son asked about why a much older man he saw would have those fears, I sarcastically suggested that he should ask the man. No sooner than I had gotten my organ out and was ready to start at the urinal, I noticed that J.C. was approaching the stall and about to ask the question. I called him back just in time.

Loud, ostentatious masturbation...there's one I've never encountered before. I didn't vote-all of them are equally annoying.
_______
Peace, Love, Twilight.

i vote for the cell phone usage or the trying to start a conversation. I actually thought someone was trying to talk to me only to discover that they were on the phone. I kept replying to what they were saying even after I knew they weren't talking to me. Or I pretend I'm on the phone with someone else. Man this bitch next to me is really stinking it up in here! Dammit what did she eat a fucking shitty diaper filled with Indian food?! I usually do this as I'm leaving the bathroom because it tends to piss people off. I also do the repeat flusher or the loud wet fart sounds. My thought is if you don't want me to fuck with you then leave me the hell alone when I'm in the shitter. Public toilet is no place for a damn cell phone conversation. I curse them and hope they drop their phone in the bowl.

OMG I hate it when they start talking to me. I am there to go to the bathroom only.

I had just arrived at the stadium last week for the football game. I had been constipated for about 3 days so I told my wife I was going down the concourse to the bathroom. After waiting about 5 minutes, a stall opens and I was pretty hopeful that the "feeling" I was getting in my bowels would lead to a shit. So I put myself down and remembered being instantly surprised that the seat would be as cold as it was because I had just seen the previous occupant exit. I dropped my boxers and jeans all the way to the floor knowing that this was going to be one of those times where I was definitely going to have to angle and strain to get it out.

I looked up to see an eyeball and hear and see what appeared to be double laughter from two kids who were looking in on me through crack between the door and the stall partition. Then I heard a male voice from over where the urinals were telling them to stay there until "daddy gets done". I got to thinking "Like what?" I started to get an uneasy feeling.

The eyes left my doorway when the father got done peeing and came over to the stall adjacent to mine. He had two young daughters, who were probably about 3 or 4 and the first thing he did was drop the seat. Then he seated them back-to-back over the sides of the seat and had them pee at the same time. That explained the two legs and shoes that were coming in from under my stall partition and that actually kicked me (that generated some laughter and a curse from dad and some remark about always sitting still so you don't mess) and I immediately moved my right leg in. I knew at that point that my shit was going to be a lost cause so I pulled up my boxers and jeans and quickly exited.

After the game, I went back down, selected a different stall, and within 3 minutes I was 100% successful. I told my wife, and she agrees, that privacy is very underrated.

What happened to Chuck has happened to me twice this year. I'm a 25-year-old female who just last week had my shopping bag (which included a couple hundred pieces of Halloween candy in a bag that I had opened to sample) dumped over by a young boy in the next stall. The boy needed to crap bad, but was afraid to sit over the front because he feared falling into the toilet. Mom's remedy: have him sit over the left side of the seat and hang onto the toilet paper roll. After she got him situated, she entered the stall on the other side of mine, sat and peed and for a couple of minutes, while at first trying to ignore his calls for help. She flushed, and then went in to help him. He was afraid to wipe because that would require him to take his hand off the paper holder. She suggested he get down and stand up to wipe and at that point that's when my bag was kicked over. He also started to crap some more so she put him back over the seat, but I cleaned up from my spilled bag, washed my hands and left. Is balancing a bag on their lap fair to those in the other stalls who don't want to risk kicks or spills?