I poo salad. I shoot it from my bum. Sometimes it's just a piece or too, and sometimes it's like a whole goddamn head of lettuce. Am I abnormal? Do other people suffer from this terrible affliction or is it just me?

Dear Olly,

Thanks for the question.

I don't think you have much to worry about. Probably just some improvements in your chewing techniques will solve your dilemma.

However, I am only Poonurse. I am not a medical doctor. Please do not use rely on my lowly advice. Consult your doctor if you continue to shoot salad out of your butt.

Please be advised that I am only a Poonurse. I am NOT a medical doctor. Any advice I give should be taken moderate skepticism. Please consult a REAL medical doctor if you feel you have a serious medical condition.

-- Poonurse [1]

Poonurse is an RN with 25 years experience in labor and delivery. Her qualifications include seeing a lot of poop, and owning a computer. Also, she works in Michigan, which she calls the asshole of the universe, so that's another bit of credibility. Got a question [2] for her?