My good friend Danielle was the counselor on a teen tour to Israel. She was in charge of a group of ten American teenage girls who were visiting Israel for the first time. One of the girls was chubby, depressed, and extremely homesick. She was also the social outcast and hadn't managed to bond with the others. This is a story about her. We'll call her Alice.

Once day, about two weeks into the trip, Alice approached my friend. She sheepishly informed Danielle that she hadn't shat in about six days and wasn't feeling well. Danielle chaperoned Alice to a local clinic for some medical attention.

The doctors plied Alice with laxatives and a few enemas. Unfortunately, nothing seemed to work for poor Alice. The doctors then recommended that Danielle take Alice to a major hospital in Jerusalem.

Off they went, with Alice growing more and more depressed.

In the Jerusalem hospital, Alice was treated to more and more enemas. The nurses, not wanting to go the next level of treatment, tried everything under the sun to coax the shitty morass from Alice's innards. Nothing worked.

After a few moments of deliberation, the nurses knew they had to go to the next level.

Alice was lying on her stomach, sobbing uncontrollably. The nurse's aide's job was to hold Alice's ass cheeks open as wide as she could. The head nurse, using something resembling a chisel and spoon, would then try to break up the impacted crapmatter.

Over the course of an hour, the head nurse would chisel and then spoon out bits of hardened beast, gagging each time she pulled out another rotting morsel. Danielle, also on the verge of vomit, couldn't help but watch. Alice, degraded beyond belief but desperate for shitmercy, sobbed.

After forty-five minutes or so, the head nurse pulled out a rather large chunk and Alice suddenly shot up quickly, screaming, "Oh my god!" She bolted for the bathroom across the room as shit began running down her leg like a spider descending a web. Inhuman sounds, toilet seats slamming, and sobbing echoed from the small, tiled bathroom. Danielle and the nurse pressed their ear to the door each time they heard nothing, only to hear quiet sobbing and grunting re-echo from time to time.

After a full ten minutes of silence, they quietly knocked, and heard nothing. They slowly opened the door to find naked, shit-covered Alice sitting on the floor. The bathroom was literally covered in shit from the floor to halfway up the white tiled walls. The toilet was one of the only clean things in the bathroom.

Alice had obliterated the bathroom with a violent shitstorm, almost as if she had done continual 360s while expelling eight days of diarrhea and rotting, impacted poo.

As Danielle described it to me: it was truly a sight to behold!