Published on PoopReport.com (http://www.poopreport.com)

USA Bidet: Even MORE Bidet For The Buck

By poo_poo_poodio
Created Jul 27 2007 - 10:28am
Editor's note: Some time ago, I received the following email from ThomL [1], CEO and owner of USA Bidet [2].

Dear Dave,

Apparently someone in your organization has given us a great review [3]. It is my desire to send them an upgraded version of the USA Bidet H-2 [4]. Our new version is made from medical-grade stainless steel that has been polished to produce a finish compatible with most bathroom britework.

Mounting the bidet was reported to be something of an issue. One of our customers, an engineer, did the new write-up. Please note that the spring may be wound a [5]bit to strengthen the return. The new mounts are stainless steel, and we now include four bumpers. All units are tested pneumatically to 110 psi -- a pressure that would lift you off the seat as well as blow out a few bathroom lights.

We do listen to our customers and have evolved the unit to fill many of the more reasonable requests. (Note that "reasonable" is the operative adjective here.) We have over eighty percent return business. We call these folks "repeat offenders," so we must be doing something right. Having said that, it's rather hard to miss the target when firing point blank. I could go on...

There also appears to be a bit on concern about price. Each unit was made of high-grade copper and brass. The price increases we have experienced have made stainless steel a very acceptable alternative. The price will be increasing accordingly, yet we are well in-line with our product's production costs. Also note that the post office has continued to increase their fees and we have held our shipping/packaging constant. We are still a bargain.

Please extend my offer to the writer of the review. No strings attached -- just a show of appreciation.

Respectfully,

Thom Lindheimer, CEO
USA Bidet


Wow! That's quite an offer. I forwarded it to Poo_poo_poodio [6], the PoopReporter in question. His response:

Wow, I feel like my tushy has just won the lottery. Thanks in advance for forwarding this to Thom and his wonderful organization. Once the new and improved unit is installed, I will review it if I feel that the changes have made significant improvement. I do like the idea of stainless steel mounts, as mine tended to turn green when coming in contact with bowl cleaning chemicals; and four rubber feet is a must -- I had to fabricate two of my own feet to get it to work right. (Hey, at least I was standing on my own two feet.) Please thank Thom for me. Ahh, the American dream.


And now: Poo_poo_poodio's review of the USA Bidet H-2.

The center of my universe starts with my master bathroom toilet and expands out to a sixty-mile radius in all directions. If I'm anywhere in that perimeter and feel the urge to take the Browns to the Super Bowl, I'm usually heading back to home base. Oh, I hear you -- why would a person stop whatever it is they are doing and drive perhaps an hour just because there's a brown man knocking on the back door?

One simple reason: it's my USA Bidet.

I have read thousands of posts on PoopReport. And I find myself over and over again thinking -- and sometimes posting -- that the answer to a particular problem is a bidet. (Also known by PoopReporters as a "buttsink [7]".) I'm not talking about an expensive fixture found only in posh European hotels; and I'm not even talking about one of those high-tech Japanese toilet seats that provide a warm place to sit and then wash and dry you and test your urine after you conduct a movement. I'm talking about a relatively inexpensive attachment that fits easily to most current toilets -- a device that simply washes you very clean, no matter how wet, dry, or sticky your latest grunt sculpture came out.

Think about it: a life without skidmarks, burning hemorrhoids, or mountains of paper.

Since I installed my USA Bidet, my life has been better. I'm not talking a little fraction better -- I'm talking a lot better. In fact, I'd fight off fifty Shiites with a rusty scimitar if they tried to take it away from me. In life, very few things do what they do, do it well, AND make your life easier. Computers were supposed to make our lives easier, but they didn't -- they made lives different, sure, but not easier. The USA Bidet is one of those things that do the voodoo that they do when I poo.

I recently received a new and improved USA Bidet. I did have a few issues with the original model, and these issues were addressed -- the upgrade is better than ever. They have improved the installation instructions to correct the spring return that was backwards on the original drawing. They have also included a second set of seat risers. The tubing needs just a slight bit more clearance than a standard seat, so four seat risers was much more useful instead of just two. They also upgraded the mounting bracket to stainless steel.

My bidet was installed almost five years ago, and it has been in constant service since then without a hitch. It is still in perfect condition and has even moved with me to my current home. Like I said in my original review, this thing is built like a tank. As my tech school teacher was fond of saying, "Works fine, lasts a long time."

If you have some of the common maladies often cited on this site, do yourself a huge favor and get one of these handy devices. They are great for Hemmies, Skiddies, Hot Runs, and also wonderful for seniors and children. To borrow a phrase from Nike: "Just Poo It." Next time you down the periscope, clean up with this feces fountain and you'll be glad you did.

One last thing: people think a cold water only unit will be uncomfortable; but that could not be further from the truth. The cold unit feels great. It may take a few times to get used to, but after eating spicy Thai food and drinking plenty of beer, your rear thruster rocket with thank you.

Source URL:
http://www.poopreport.com/Consumer/more_bidet.html

Links:
[1] http://www.poopreport.com/user/thoml
[2] http://www.USABidet.com/
[3] http://www.poopreport.com/Consumer/bidet_for_the_buck.html
[4] http://www.USABidet.com/ourproducts.shtml
[5] http://www.USABidet.com
[6] http://www.poopreport.com/user/poo_poo_poodio
[7] http://www.poopreport.com/Contests/Content/bidet_vote_finals.html