I realize your website is mostly about the funny side of excrement, but I have a serious questions and it involves a problem that is affecting my life in a negative and embarrassing way. I hope you can help.
My intestines are always making noise. Sometimes so loud that it sounds like I'm farting. This is really embarrassing when I'm on a date or in a meeting. What's wrong with me and what can I do about it?
Any help would be most appreciated.
Dear Anonymous,
I have found through my research on the subject of extremely noisy intestines that this complaint is very common among people with celiac disease. So much so, in fact, that this is considered to be one of the early warning signs of the disorder.
Celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder of the small bowel. It seems that most people who have this disease are genetically predisposed to it (meaning that it's pretty much unavoidable) and can acquire it at any time after birth. It is found in all age groups.
Wikipedia has a great in-depth description [1] of the disease's process, symptoms, and treatments that I am not going to get into right now. I will just say that the best way to describe it is that it's basically an allergy to wheat.
What to do? Try cutting out all wheat products from your diet for a week or two in order to get your system gluten-free and see if this puts a stop to your noisy insides. If so, then you will learn to listen to your body once you resume the consumption of wheat-containing products, and know that if you begin to hear the awful rumblings again, then you are in what celiac sufferers refer to as a "gluten crisis." At that point, it will be time to visit your doctor so that you can be evaluated and given a proper treatment plan.
Thanks for asking Motherload!
Motherload is a Certified Nurse Assistant as well as an IBS sufferer, which means she knows a lot about poop. Got a question for her? Ask it here. [2]